Help..
Posted: Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:20 pm
I'm hoping I'm not the only one, and someone somewhere out there can help me through this. I've been dealing with panic attacks/OCD for YEARS! I'm a lot better now than what I used to be. Thank you, God! What I'm dealing with right now is being just fine when the sun is out, but going into panic mode when it's dark outside. I go from bright and sunny to depressed, lonely, terrified, dark obsessive thoughts in a matter of an hour or two, and all because it's dark outside! I tend to feel like that is when something bad will happen. I'll get sick, have a heart attack, someone I love will die, and so on. I feel trapped, like I can't leave because it's dark. This could be because I used to have many, many panic attacks and almost always at night. Perhaps I see that fear again at night? How can I enjoy my nights again!?
Also, anyone extra sensitive? My husband telling me he loves me has me crying my eyes out! (happy tears) I feel things stronger than I ever have before. Things that I wouldn't normally cry about, I'm balling my eyes out over! It's actually a little funny how much I try and at what! My husband wonders where I keep coming up with these tears!? LOL!
I feel like my mind doesn't want me to be truly happy. It's like I need to punish myself for whatever I feel I might have done wrong in my life. I started running, and lost 25 pounds. I eat great, exercise, and I feel better, younger, healthier than I did in my 20's! (I'm now 31) However, I started having heart palps, and it's making me question EVERYTHING! Am I dying? Is exercise the problem? Should I stop running? All the good things I'm doing is SCARING me now, when I used to enjoy them! How exhausting this is! ;(
I refuse to see the Doctor, because I run to him for EVERYTHING. I run to EVERYONE to tell me I'm okay. I've read up on heart palps. I have no other symptoms that would be cause for concern. This sounds to me like anxiety is AGAIN the reason for my unhappiness. However, this also has me obsessing, "Should I be stupid and not see the Doc, what if something IS wrong?!"
I just don't know anymore. Someone.. Help... Me... Please!
Also, anyone extra sensitive? My husband telling me he loves me has me crying my eyes out! (happy tears) I feel things stronger than I ever have before. Things that I wouldn't normally cry about, I'm balling my eyes out over! It's actually a little funny how much I try and at what! My husband wonders where I keep coming up with these tears!? LOL!
I feel like my mind doesn't want me to be truly happy. It's like I need to punish myself for whatever I feel I might have done wrong in my life. I started running, and lost 25 pounds. I eat great, exercise, and I feel better, younger, healthier than I did in my 20's! (I'm now 31) However, I started having heart palps, and it's making me question EVERYTHING! Am I dying? Is exercise the problem? Should I stop running? All the good things I'm doing is SCARING me now, when I used to enjoy them! How exhausting this is! ;(
I refuse to see the Doctor, because I run to him for EVERYTHING. I run to EVERYONE to tell me I'm okay. I've read up on heart palps. I have no other symptoms that would be cause for concern. This sounds to me like anxiety is AGAIN the reason for my unhappiness. However, this also has me obsessing, "Should I be stupid and not see the Doc, what if something IS wrong?!"
I just don't know anymore. Someone.. Help... Me... Please!