Is anyone else obsessive over money?

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Dixiesmom
Posts: 72
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:03 am

Is anyone else obsessive over money?

Post by Dixiesmom » Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:26 pm

I have checked a few of the OCD topics, but I haven't seen where anyone else has listed this as an issue for them. I believe I am obsessive when it comes to money. I have probably always been this way somewhat, but it really started when I lost my job. I found another job and started working, but I remarried, moved with my husband to a different state and within 4 years he lost 3 jobs with the same company due to the economy. I must be able to account for every bill - I have to know that I have the money ahead of time to pay for the usual monthly bills. I will even try to project what some bills, like the electric bill, will cost. I even have to have what I call set aside money to pay for any other possible expense that come along, like medical bills, vet bills, money for shoes and clothing, money for vehicle maintence, etc. I MUST know that can pay the bills if needed. I won't even consider doing something for which I don't have the money for, or know that I can get the money in a short period of time. We have the necessities, extras are out, especially if there is a contract that must be signed - because "what if" we lose our job and can't pay the bill? That means we don't have cable or satalite tv or internet (our neighbor has given us her code so we run our wi-fi off hers). Is anyone else like this???? Part of me is proud that I am able to pay the bills (so far, we've been lucky we haven't had any staggering medical bills, not sure what I would do!), save for possible future expenses and not be an uncontrollable spender. But at the same time, it is controlling me. We don't make much and I will literally put a dollar here and a dollar there to save up for whatever may happen that we may need money for. Fun things with the family are out, unless they are planned in advance, because spending extra money can send me into a panic - especially if it's not a necessity. Is there anyone else like this???

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: Is anyone else obsessive over money?

Post by Iwillbebetter » Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:57 am

Dixiesmom, I am sorry I can not so much relate to this one. I was never good with money. Also me and my boyfriend keep our money seperate, and he is "the bread winner" so I don't really have the ability to "control it" :)
Although I have for the past years sat on my tax money like never before. Normally that is something I would spend as soon as it arrived... but for the past few years (probably since having my 2 littlest ones) I have sat on it for most of the year "just incase".
Something I recently read got me to decide not to do that this year!! I don't remember the exact wording, but it was along the lines of - stop sitting on your money incase of this and incase of that - or for this to put on the shelf or this for the walls... what if this never happens, what if that never happens. Will the things on your shelf and walls make, keep you happy?? Will you have those thing always?? Go make some memories, those are something you will have always and no one or nothing can take them away. Nothing extravagent, take some weekend trips enjoy life and all the wonders of it.
I can tell you that really got me thinking. I use to do more things like that with my son, not sure when or why but I stopped. This summer I am taking the kids for a couple camping trips. I also want to get on-line and find a couple weekend getaways that aren't to far, but no where we've been before!! :) If my tax money is gone before next year THAT'S OKAY!!! If something happens and we need money, that's okay to we'll figure it out!! :)
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: Is anyone else obsessive over money?

Post by NeverQuit » Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:16 am

Hi there!

I am not obsessive over money, but I do understand the basic thought-pattern that you are having because it is the same as any OCD, anxious thought! The important thing is to practice the skills that the program is teaching you. Eventually, as you practice these more and more, you will be able to get through an anxious money episode and make choices NOT based in fear.

Tell yourself that you are a great money manager, that you and your spouse are going to do everything you can do be sure that you have enough money, and you can't expect perfection from yourself because NO ONE is perfect. If you are spiritual at all, I would encourage you to pray and ask God to help give you the peace you need, to help you to trust in Him to supply all of your needs.

Also, are you very one-dimensional right now? By that I mean, do you have any creative outlets for yourself? What Lucinda says is that we use our obsessive thoughts to distract us from something that we just don't feel like dealing with. Or, on another note, if it IS just the money issue that is making you obsessive, perhaps you need a HEALTHY distraction from your real, anxiety-producing circumstances! Try and come up with a hobby for yourself, something that takes your mind off of your fears and is even beneficial to you in some way! It could be anything - exercise, reading, drawing, volunteering somewhere, etc.

Keep speaking positive things to yourself! Reaffirm to yourself the positive gifts you have been given - "I have a great husband, I am blessed to have a roof over my head and food to eat, I am blessed to have a job, we are resourceful, I am a very creative person and will be able to solve any problem that comes my way." You WILL be okay!

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34.

God bless and praying for you!

Dixiesmom
Posts: 72
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:03 am

Re: Is anyone else obsessive over money?

Post by Dixiesmom » Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:36 pm

Thank you for your replies. I do try to do something every summer with my family to try help make those memories. The memories and fun that we have are worth it. I just need to be able to get over the anxiety of trying to prepare for everything, to just let go and enjoy it. I try to do things because I know that my 11 yr. old may someday go live with his dad and I want the both of us to have some good memories of doing things together. I just wish I could do some things spontaneously, without having to prepare for everything and without agonizing over it. I am working on it though and I will make improvements!
NeverQuit, thank you for the verse from Matthew. I haven't thought about that one in a while. It truly fits. Worrying about things won't change them and won't help. I really need to pray, more than I have, that God helps me out with this and then leave it in hands!

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: Is anyone else obsessive over money?

Post by NeverQuit » Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:43 pm

So glad that we were able to help! That verse came to mind, I thought it was really applicable to what you are going through!
Great job working on this!

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