Stress Center Peer Support

I am going through a tiny anxious spell right now, I think it's hormonal and a reaction to my circumstances. I found out my former boyfriend has a new girlfriend, he's away at school so thankfully I don't have to see them, but the anxious, obsessive thoughts have escalated over the last few days since finding out. I know I am using them as a distraction. I was the one to end the relationship, I knew he was too immature and needed to grow before we could move forward. So my obsessive thoughts keep going around, "What if he changed and I missed it?" "If he waited six months for another relationship he must have matured!" Blah blah blah...I just need to break the cycle and could use some encouraging words!
Thanks so much!

Hi neverquit I can relate. Lately thats been a big struggle for me. Once I start worrying about a situation I wont let go. I obsses about people that are no longer in my life even if I know thet werent healthy relationships. Thats what we do. Just remember no matter what he does now you know you did the right thing at the time so youre in the right place.

I can also relate. I find myself constantly thinking about past relationships and "what-ifs" of them. I am working on trying to put them out of my mind. I think trying to remember that it is in the past, I can not go back and change it. The more time I spend thinking about it, wishing it to be different, the more of NOW I will lose. The time we spend in before and later keeps us from now. It seems to help me put it out of my mind when I remind myself of that. I agree with Nel also, I think it is natural, especially for us, to look back with regrets. Maybe I should have... Maybe I shouldn't have.... If only I would have.... If only I wouldn't have..... We have to remember we did what the thought best. We can't go back and change it, we can only move forward!!

Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I am doing better! I think what it comes down to for me is trusting God. I am a very spiritual person, and I know that at the core of my anxiety is my struggle to trust Him. That's why I have such a hard time letting things go. But I have to remember that God is my Father and He knows what is best for me and will not let the right person slip by.

I am glad to hear you are doing/feeling better! Someone else mentioned realizing they were having trouble trusting god, and realized it might be because to do that, they feel they are then giving control to god. I am just recently "finding god" so to say, and have struggled with the putting my trust/faith in him. But after that discussion I realize, to trust god, is not to give him control, but to trust in him to help us keep control. As you said he is our father, he does not want to control us. As long as we are willing to listen he will guide us where we need to be, and to whom we need to be with.

That's right, it's about trusting Him to guide us to where we need to be. I just need to constantly remind myself of this. If this guy was His best for me, then I can trust that He would have worked it out somehow. My problem is that I put too much control mentally in my own hands rather than placing control in God's hands, so I feel like I have to do things the right way and if I make a mistake or sin, then things are ruined for me. That's actually the underlying belief that I have. But God's not going to axe His plans for me just because I make mistakes!! He is a loving gracious God Who promises to work EVERYTHING out for my good. Who am I to argue or doubt God's plans?

NeverQuit wrote:My problem is that I put too much control mentally in my own hands rather than placing control in God's hands, so I feel like I have to do things the right way and if I make a mistake or sin, then things are ruined for me.

Sounds like the perfectionism that comes along with anxiety!! Have to do everything perfectly right or else!! But as you said God is a loving god. He wants you to make mistakes, for that is the only way we can learn!!