Intrusive thought

Suffering from OCD? Post your history, experience, comments and/or suggestions
tz2cute
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:18 am

Intrusive thought

Post by tz2cute » Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:03 pm

Hello, I just started this program yesterday. I have been diagnosed with OCD and severe depression and anxiety. I am currently on Clonazepam and Luvox CR. It all started when I had a nightmare that I was hurting my children in all the horrible ways you could imagine. And ever since then I have been completely debilitated by this and obsessing over why that would ever be in my brain. I have lost all motivation and happiness...I am kinda just going through the motions...not really living. I cannot be alone...I can't go out...although I force myself to...I am not me anymore and it terrifies me. I don't understand why I can't just let it go...I constantly feel guilty like I did something wrong...but I didn't...I would never hurt my children or anyone else for that matter...and that is why i can't understand why it has this my control over me...I want my life back so much. Anyone going through anything similar please reply to my post...I am new to this..Thanks.

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by NeverQuit » Fri Oct 14, 2011 11:31 am

Hello!
First of all, where are you at with the program? There are certain sessions that deal specifically with panic attacks, obsessive scary thoughts, and negative thinking. They will help you TREMENDOUSLY. The important thing is to follow the program and do each session in order. Trust that you WILL be over this!
Remind yourself that anxiety is a condition where we are stuck in a pattern of negative thinking and scaring ourselves. We have developed a habit! These thoughts are NOT real, the fact that they scare you shows that you would NEVER do such a thing, our brains WANT to scare us because we have been thinking negatively for so long, our brains don't know how to think positively, how to calm ourselves down! This is NOT to say that you can't control your thoughts, you CAN. It's just that when we've been telling ourselves scary, negative things for so long it is hard to turn that talk around.
When you have these thoughts, try practicing breathing slowly, deeply, and exhaling slowly. Tell yourself that these thoughts are only scary thoughts, that's IT. Remind yourself about who you are! Then drop it. The more you chase the thoughts, the more they stick around. You need to put up a STOP sign and tell yourself that you are going to see things clearer the longer you practice this good, positive self-talk.
You WILL come through this! It's hard work, but it is well worth it!
Make sure you are exercising and drinking around 8 glasses of water a day. Both of those are very important!
Praying for you!

coach21
Posts: 65
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:01 pm

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by coach21 » Tue Oct 18, 2011 12:04 pm

Hey tz2cute,

Couldn't help but respond to your post because scary thoughts of which you described were one of my smptoms of anxiety. I have experienced the feeling of anxiety, depression, despair and frustration associated with these thoughts. However, through the techiniques of cognitive thinking and emotional disciple I have successfully eliminated the anxiety, depression, despair associated with this symptom of anxiety. You can do the same.

All people have irrational throughs of which you described without any intended purpose. Those prone to anxiety however were born a little more sensitive and analytical than the norm. For example, a mother or father watching a disturbing news story involving a parent harming their child poses a question to themselves "How could a person carry out such a horrible act?". Being sensitive to this type of negative stimuli he or she follows this question up with a series of irrational questions "could I ever be capable of something like that?" "How could I consider I question like that? "why would that ever be in my brain?" literally thinking themselves into a downward spiral of debilitating depression, anxiety and despair.

Being uninformed about anxiety the individual established irrational conclusions about themselves "there must be something wrong with me because I'm having these thoughts" "I must be going crazy" "I must be losing control". She in turn naturally attempts to repress these thoughts which leads to variations of the thoughts themselves. She then engages in "emotional reasoning". Establishing irrational conclusions based on how she feels further establishing and reinforcing irrational reactions to these thoughts. She ultimately plant seeds of belief in these thoughts planting question marks where God put periods. They irrationally conclude that these thoughts pertain to themselves in someway and are filled with guilt "I feel guilty like I did something wrong" further adding insult to injury.

Everyone has obscure unintended thoughts. The key is responding rationally to the irrational thoughts and questions that follow. This takes understanding of anxiety and the implementation of knowledge. E-mail me any time for support. God has the people and resources in line for your recovery. It's up to us to put action behind you faith. I'm employed as a coach for the StressCenter.com and have worked with alot of individuals as per this symptom of anxiety. E-mail me anytime for support. God bless and go for it!!

Faith_TX
Posts: 259
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:24 am

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by Faith_TX » Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:12 am

tz2cute wrote:Hello, I just started this program yesterday. I have been diagnosed with OCD and severe depression and anxiety. I am currently on Clonazepam and Luvox CR. It all started when I had a nightmare that I was hurting my children in all the horrible ways you could imagine. And ever since then I have been completely debilitated by this and obsessing over why that would ever be in my brain. I have lost all motivation and happiness...I am kinda just going through the motions...not really living. I cannot be alone...I can't go out...although I force myself to...I am not me anymore and it terrifies me. I don't understand why I can't just let it go...I constantly feel guilty like I did something wrong...but I didn't...I would never hurt my children or anyone else for that matter...and that is why i can't understand why it has this my control over me...I want my life back so much. Anyone going through anything similar please reply to my post...I am new to this..Thanks.
I had something somewhat similar a few years ago. I had a feeling that I was going to hurt someone with a knife. The very fact that the thought upsets you so much means that it's the anxiety talking and not something you'd really do. If you really were this terrible violent person, then you would relish the thought and it wouldn't be upsetting you so much. The anxiety "monster" is there to scare us with things that we would never really do.

I just switched to Luvox a few weeks ago too along with the Clonazepam that I've been taking. Prior to that I was on Celexa. Luvox CR is supposed to be good for these types of thoughts. I hope it helps.

I read this online this week and it made a lot of sense:

The anxiety is thought to come from a misfiring primitive part of the brain – the amygdala – the fight/flight system. It FEELS REAL because it is a REAL danger message ..it just so happens it is being fired off at the wrong time and is a false warning. The good news is that therapy and/or meds can help you fix that. You have probably spent hours/days/months arguing with yourself because there is also a rational part of your brain that knows you aren’t quite right. Unfortunately the primitive doesn’t respond to the rational so basically instead of thinking your way out of an obsession you think your way deeper into it. This is rumination and feeds ocd.

When you have those thoughts. . .try to say "this is not real, it's just my anxiety talking." Just see if that helps a little bit.

tz2cute
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:18 am

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by tz2cute » Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:11 pm

Thank you for all of the responses. I am trying to keep an open mind in regards to this program because I really do want it to help me. It is just so hard to deal with sometimes...and I just want my life back. Let me know how Luvox works for you...I have been on 300mg for 4 weeks...I think it is helping with the anxiety, but I am still very depressed. My mom also has OCD and depression...she is taking celexta and says it seems to be working for her. I start the 3rd session next week...so far I still feel the same, but I hope it gets better.

Faith_TX
Posts: 259
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:24 am

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by Faith_TX » Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:49 pm

I'm glad it is helping with your anxiety. I am very thankful that I don't have much depression. That is, not until my anxiety drags out too long. Usually just the anxiety and panic attacks. Then panic about panic and anxiety about anxiety and obsessing about both of them :lol:

I'm very hopeful though. I'm just past 3 weeks on Luvox CR so I am going to give it time, and then when I go back in a month she might have to increase me to 150. I'd rather not but I'll do what it takes. I have to find that right balance. Whenever I take too much of something I feel drugged, but I obviously don't want to have the panic either.

I also know that it's not all about the medication. I need to retrain my thinking again. But the medicine helps calm me so I can get my thoughts back on track. This last week I was feeling so awesome an it hit me out of the blue so that was hard. Everything was going just fine then boom!

NeverQuit
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:22 pm

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by NeverQuit » Fri Oct 21, 2011 10:31 am

Something else that is really important is exercise. I find it makes me feel so much better, just really clears out my head. :)

Faith_TX
Posts: 259
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:24 am

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by Faith_TX » Fri Oct 21, 2011 12:44 pm

NeverQuit wrote:Something else that is really important is exercise. I find it makes me feel so much better, just really clears out my head. :)
I walk a lot!

keepsmilin
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:37 pm

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by keepsmilin » Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:20 pm

Hello, I am new to this program, too. I just started it on Sunday...so now it is my day three. I am calm today, but boy was I a mess yesterday and the day before. I explain it as something like this: You know when you hurt yourself-say a cut, and you hold the cut and you can feel the pain WITHOUT even looking at it. You feel it. Then, you take your hand off the cut and you SEE the blood and see how bad it looks...you feel so much worse! It's like that. I am facing this HEAD ON and FACING the FACTS and I am anxious. But today, I feel good :) This program, I have faith in.

I am replying because my anxiety started as a kid. I literally thought my Dad was going to rape my mom. Like, I'm sorry....WHAT?!?! Scary movies, songs, thoughts, images, and BAD DREAMS! I obsessed over it. I had OCD over finishing my h/w as a kid and obsessing over things I did right, things I completed, and things I did wrong. I would sweat and freak right out.

Here I am, 22, and I am still suffering. I have tried many things and yes, water and exercise help, and talking. I wrote a song about it and sing it also. BUT, at the end of the day, I have developed a bad habit and I am CHOOSING to fix it :)

Right now, I obsess over FIXING thoughts....recurring thoughts...ones that DON'T MATTER. And some do matter...like..how do I feel about my relationship. I swear to all of you, in a period of FIVE MINUTES, I decided I need to end my relationship, and then think harder and harder and manipulate my head and say " Why would I ever do that?!" and VISE VERSA...

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. Please, help me with obsessive thoughts and indecisiveness. It's dragging me down...I can't decide which thoughts are important enough to obsess over or -rather- think over and over again until I find an answer. I can't let them all go or I might screw some stuff up.

Thank you. HUGS TO ALL OF YOU! I AM SO PROUD WE'RE ALL HERE :)

-Keep Smilin'

keepsmilin
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:37 pm

Re: Intrusive thought

Post by keepsmilin » Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:22 pm

manipulate my thought process**
not my head..haha

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