OCD about past traumas

Sekmet · Post by **Sekmet** » Tue Jun 01, 2010 7:12 am

Does anyone else deal with obsessive thinking about past traumas. I have had some major ones and due to health issues am now forced to face them so they have become obsessive thoughts on top of my other issues. I guess the traumas have made me feel as a perpetual victim and I don't understand how to overcome that in addition to everything else.

brandonmississippi · Post by **brandonmississippi** » Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:40 am

Well I do to an extent. Never had any major trauma, like family member dying or anything. I did go through some horrible mental, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse. I consider this trauma. You don't have to, though. But, yes I do obsess over it, and I feel like i'm the victim of a cruel world. Then I become so highly ticked off that I wanna scream sometimes. But i've gotten better with dealing with it. I find that talking is the most important way of dealing with your problems.

Sekmet · Post by **Sekmet** » Wed Jun 02, 2010 12:17 pm

But who do you talk with? I can 'talk' to my shrink or my husband but both are like talking to a wall. They know what I've been through but they don't know the pain that's involved. My husbands first response was "forget about it, it'll go away" That just doesn't happen. I almost died doing that and honestly at this point, I'm not totally convinced that wouldn't have been a better 'outcome'. And YES, what you have been through IS trauma.

brandonmississippi · Post by **brandonmississippi** » Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:28 pm

Well I am a drug addict who has been clean for 2 yrs now. I go to na meetings and share my feelings. And I have some great ppl who I can share everything with. I know what you mean about talking to a wall. I feel like that a lot of times talking to my friends at the meetings. No one can know exactly how we feel, and I think we get mad because they don't. It's like no one understands, I know. Point is, the more you get out of you, the less power the trauma has over you. Try a different shrink. You are already talking on here, which is a good thing because a lot of people can totally relate. They haven't walked in your shoes, but they have similar shoes, in ways. Hope that helped. Keep talking and take away the power of your past.

Sekmet · Post by **Sekmet** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:48 am

You all have talked with me more than everyone around me. I get asked "How do you feel today?" and when I answer the response is "And why do you think that is?" If I knew that answer, I wouldn't be needing to talk to those people. Does this make any sense? Am I thinking logically? Is there a flaw in my reasoning? If so, please enlighten me.

brandonmississippi · Post by **brandonmississippi** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 6:31 am

And how does that make you feel? ha ha sry, just picking at you. That bothers me too. I say something that's troubling me to my therapist, and she says "how does Brandon feel about that" It's kind of weird, but I guess that there is some logic behind it.

catseye80 · Post by **catseye80** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 9:36 am

i know exactly how you feel! i too have had several traumatic physical events in my life and have had to work very hard at convincing myself that i am okay. i know the fear that goes along with these experiences. truthfully, i have relied on God to give me peace and strength. sometimes it is really hard, but i have to have faith and keep talking to myself and telling myself that i am okay. i totally know what you are going through!

Sekmet · Post by **Sekmet** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:36 am

Now, she has told me that I will never be the person I was. Why can't I be the person I was just with more knowledge? This is a tremendous blow. I have been striving to be as 'successful' as I had been and now why should I even try. I understand that my knowledge will change me to some extent but why can't I be as good as I was before?

brandonmississippi · Post by **brandonmississippi** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 12:51 pm

Not quite sure what you're talking about, but you are the same person. A person is defined as a human or individual. You still have qualities that you use to have. You have also developed new ones. Basically you are the same person who has changed mentally and physically. Everyone changes. That doesn't mean they are not the same person. Just not the exact same, maybe.

michelle37 · Post by **michelle37** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:01 pm

sekmet,
so sorry you had trauma in your past. unfortunately I think the only person that can help you to feel better about it is you. I dont mean that in a mean way. I just mean that we cant depend on other people to make us feel better ( about anything) because other people truly dont understand what you are feeling or going through just like I for instance dont understand what other people are feeling or going through. Its difficult but I truly think its one of those situations where you have to learn to be ok with yourself. this forum is really the only place where I feel like I can feel like Im somewhat sane because others have the same issues I do and that gives me comfort. I might just suggest that you write your story down since you feel that nobody is listening or understanding you. I think the only thing that matters is that you understand it for yourself. only my opinion. I also went to counseling for about 6 months. there were some things that helped alot but there towards the end of my going I really felt that I wasnt getting anything out of it anymore. I was tired of going over my relationship with my mother and every other thing that had gone on in my life. I didnt feel that I was getting any daily coping skills to deal with this issue. lastly, you are the person you are because of all the things you have been through. eeven though you have had some bad stuff happen to you in some way it has added to who you are like maybe made you more determined, or a stronger person in some way. I guess what I am saying is that even though the bad things happened in some way maybe it made YOU better.Maybe some good came out of it. I hope so. I hope you can move past the bad things because Im sure it was not your fault.