please help with this scary thought
My name is Laura. I have dealing with this obsessive thought for 2 months after so much has happeneds some VERY traumatic events all close together. So... one day a lady at church said...."some people arent that stong and they end up killing themselves" and then a couple weeks later I was like "omg what if I kill myself" Holy Crap! It has scared the absolute crap out of me! I have 3 great kids and a great husband but this is consuming me!!! I would NEVER ever hurt myself but I will be walking around and be like..."well if I live that Long" or what if blah..blah..blah. I see a counsler but she tells me she tells me I would never and I know that I just need someone to help me make peace with this damn thought! Any help would be awesome! Thank you soooo much! Laura
-
Momof2cuteboys
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:08 pm
Hi Laura,
Take heart and know that you are NOT alone. I went through the same types of thoughts...."what if" thoughts, "what if, kill myself, what if I hurt someone else, what if I hurt someone I love, what if I am going crazy, what if this and what if that...." my list goes on and they are very scary, BUT they are just thoughts, normal thoughts that any single person has, with or without anxiety/ocd, it is just that those of us with anxiety/ocd end up focusing on that "what if" thought and we can't get over it...we mindfully try to make ourselves feel like a bad person because we had such a horrible thought, when in reality it is something that we know we don't want to do or never would do. Thing is, is those people who want to do those things have a comfort in them, they actually want to do it, they aren't afraid of it. That is what I am learning on here and through Lucinda's sessions. I've only been doing this a couple of weeks now, but it is really, really helping me a lot! I still have a long way to go, but I will get there by the Grace of God, I will get there
Good luck and may you be blessed....also, remind yourself there is probably more to what they lady at Church was saying...not just saying that "people who are not strong will kill themselves" in what I've learned it's people who are quite depressed and feel there is a peace about being gone....I definitely don't have any peace about being gone and it sounds like you don't either!
Take heart and know that you are NOT alone. I went through the same types of thoughts...."what if" thoughts, "what if, kill myself, what if I hurt someone else, what if I hurt someone I love, what if I am going crazy, what if this and what if that...." my list goes on and they are very scary, BUT they are just thoughts, normal thoughts that any single person has, with or without anxiety/ocd, it is just that those of us with anxiety/ocd end up focusing on that "what if" thought and we can't get over it...we mindfully try to make ourselves feel like a bad person because we had such a horrible thought, when in reality it is something that we know we don't want to do or never would do. Thing is, is those people who want to do those things have a comfort in them, they actually want to do it, they aren't afraid of it. That is what I am learning on here and through Lucinda's sessions. I've only been doing this a couple of weeks now, but it is really, really helping me a lot! I still have a long way to go, but I will get there by the Grace of God, I will get there
Good luck and may you be blessed....also, remind yourself there is probably more to what they lady at Church was saying...not just saying that "people who are not strong will kill themselves" in what I've learned it's people who are quite depressed and feel there is a peace about being gone....I definitely don't have any peace about being gone and it sounds like you don't either!Hi Laura,
Couldn't help responding to your post in that these thoughts were one of my symptoms of anxiety. This is what I've learned thus far about scary thought; notably suicide.
1) The mere fact you initially experienced anxiety after these thoughts is evidence indicating you are incapable of carrying them out.
2) 91% of humans have fleeting thoughts of suicide; very normal.
3) The brain digests everything i.e. disturbing news casts; scary movies; disturbing stories, ect...
4) We are sensitive and analytical thus when these thoughts pop up sometimes these traits are used in a counterproductive manner. We follow these thoughts up with a bunch of irrational what if's and bad questions leading to a circle of anxietyi.e. "am I capable of this?" "What if I commit suicide?".
5) We give these thoughts air time and it only results more variations of the thought.
6)There are three categories when it comes to suicide.
a) People who have fleeting thoughts, like us, young adolescents or anyone going through a frustrating season.
b) Suicide Gesturers: These individuals may attempt suicide as a mere cry for help. For example a young adolescent taking 10 aspirin. The attempt is done without much thought or follow through.
c) Suicide completers: these individuals carry out suicide with lethality. They find this as a solution and are at peace with their decision. They are no where near this website or a therapist's office.
Try responding to these thoughts consistently with reality. Sometimes in life we inject questions marks where God put periods. Just because we are human. Understandable but not acceptable.
Reality is through hard work and consistent effort we can recover! God Bless and e-mail anytime for support!!
Couldn't help responding to your post in that these thoughts were one of my symptoms of anxiety. This is what I've learned thus far about scary thought; notably suicide.
1) The mere fact you initially experienced anxiety after these thoughts is evidence indicating you are incapable of carrying them out.
2) 91% of humans have fleeting thoughts of suicide; very normal.
3) The brain digests everything i.e. disturbing news casts; scary movies; disturbing stories, ect...
4) We are sensitive and analytical thus when these thoughts pop up sometimes these traits are used in a counterproductive manner. We follow these thoughts up with a bunch of irrational what if's and bad questions leading to a circle of anxietyi.e. "am I capable of this?" "What if I commit suicide?".
5) We give these thoughts air time and it only results more variations of the thought.
6)There are three categories when it comes to suicide.
a) People who have fleeting thoughts, like us, young adolescents or anyone going through a frustrating season.
b) Suicide Gesturers: These individuals may attempt suicide as a mere cry for help. For example a young adolescent taking 10 aspirin. The attempt is done without much thought or follow through.
c) Suicide completers: these individuals carry out suicide with lethality. They find this as a solution and are at peace with their decision. They are no where near this website or a therapist's office.
Try responding to these thoughts consistently with reality. Sometimes in life we inject questions marks where God put periods. Just because we are human. Understandable but not acceptable.
Reality is through hard work and consistent effort we can recover! God Bless and e-mail anytime for support!!