I have had a bad bought of scary intrusive thoughts recently. I do not live in america so i have not invested in lucindas program. I guess i am just seeking reassurance from somebody because i feel like im the only one!
I am a 25yr old female living in the uk i have a boyfriend and a dog, I suffered with panic attacks about 6 years ago for the first time when i was about 19. Back then the anxiety was about my health. I got over those fears after therapy and my doctor put me on anti depressants. Then the anxiety came back about a year ago when i was at work and randomly out of the blue i thought 'what if i suddenley got up and stabbed a colleaugue' the thought took me aback because it seemed so real. Then it developed into a fear of me doing it to anyone i came into contact with family/ friends etc etc. I got over it, i pictured a stop sign in my head everytime i felt a thought coming and because i was coming on here i knew i wasnt the only one with these terrible thoughts. I got better..... for a while.
Now though my anxiety has come back yet again and the thoughts are weirder than ever i can have an intrusive thought about almost anything, the other day i was with a colleague at work and i started looking at her arm and i started thinking 'wow that arms made of of millions of tiny cells/ flesh etc' for some reason it made me feel dizzy and now everytime i look at a person/ human is is what i think. I dont know why this thought scares me so much the way it does but its like i cant look at people in the same light. Im also afraid that i will become scared of being around people 'forever' and these thoughts will just get worse. I know this sounds really weird because im not thinking of harming people im thining of what people/humans are made up of etc, blood/bones/cells and its stupid because i know im made up of exactly the same stuff as everyone else. I have only had these thoughts for a week or so, so im just wondering what techniques to do to get rid of these thoughts, and i have looked on many forums and not found anyone having the same thoughts i have? I cant avoid everyone forever. Please dont think im crazy this is the first time ive told anyone about these thoughts.
Help am i going crazy??
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brandonmississippi
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:39 pm
Well, if you're crazy, i'm crazy, too. I have the same types of thoughts. I have them about violence, right and wrong, the "tiny millions of cells in humans," and lots more. It gets very bothersome, but I just try to keep going. I'm doing some exposure therapy right now in therapy, for OCD. I hate it, but maybe it will help.
Yes, me too. I have had the "tiny millions of cells" thoughts too and they get to me at times. Not as bad as the violent ones; but nevertheless, they still get to me. Hang in there. Definitely obsessions no doubt and it does get better. Recognize it for what it is and try not to think too much into it. I know much easier said than done! 
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highanxiety
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2009 12:06 pm
Oh im so glad im not the only one. Thats another part of the obsession to 'check' my scary thoughts with everyone elses. Ultimatley though i know the underlying cause is that im scared sick of going insane. At the moment my ocds so bad almost everything i see can be warped into a scary thought like 'what if i become afraid of that chair or cushion' or 'what if i just freak out in this room full of people for no reason', these thoughts dont seem that scary to anyone else but to me they are horrific. Im in the uk and pure o is not well known about. I even asked my therapist if i had ocd and she said no that was an 'obsession with washing hands etc' and what i have is anxiety. I never used to have any bad thoughts atall but now its almost like my mind can twist anything right now. Will this ever go away?
For me, I don't think it's going to go way. I have had strange thoughts my entire life when I look back. It mostly was around my health though. In November of last year it changed and scared me to death! The thoughts of hurting my kids or my self were just so heavy. I am grateful for this forum and my family for getting me through it. Now knowing that the thoughts are the ocd/pure o for me is what helps. I have been seeing a counselor for about 4 months now and he has been educating me so much on this anxiety condition so I am getting stronger and smarter about it. I do take a low dose of lexapro which I know has helped and when I really feel like it's bad, I take a low dose of xanax. It helps honestly, but I do one day hope to be off the meds. Hang in there... it does get better! Educate yourself as much as possible on OCD. Knowledge is power!! I thought I was going to be locked up for the rest of my life 8 months ago and I can honestly say I am 'almost' feeling myself again!