if only this [fill in the blank]... then i will feel ok

[Anxiousinnyc]

Hi All-
A year ago, i told a friend of a friend about my building in nyc- i get a phenomenal deal in the city and felt id share that with her and i even encouraged her to move in! a couple weeks before she moved in, however, she told another friend of ours to apply to the building as well (because she had told that friend she would live with her and wanted to get out of it), and i became so angry. how dare you tell other people to move in to this building? this is my building! at that point, i began to completely regret ever telling her about my building and having her move in. in fact, when she moved in, she would often knock on my door and not give me my space, so that put me in high defense mode. she's since gotten the hint, and leaves me alone. however, i can't stop thinking about how i want her to move out of the building. she's very pretentious and it makes me angry that she acts that way and yet is cheap and taking advantage of my kindness to tell her about my building. i dont know what to do. i know this all sounds kind of ridiculous, but i cant stop thinking about how i just want her to move out and then i will good.. i get very angry about it, feel loss of control, and it does disturb my thoughts and concentration. i feel like i cant be happy until she moves out!! and i feel big feelings of regret for ever telling her about my building. regret is a hard emotion to deal with..i also feel a loss of control because i want her to move out, but she won't. also- i wish i could move out, but im getting such a good deal that it would be hard to give this up. PLEASE HELP!! it's so sad. i feel like i cant be ok until she leaves...arghh!

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