Keep scaring myself - why?
-
justgettingby
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:29 pm
After experiencing some scary thoughts last year, it seems that my anxiety keeps throwing me something new. Another fear of mine is about going crazy!!! With that being said, I often find myself double checking everything I see and hear. For example, let's see I saw a cat walk by.... I know I saw it, then my OCD kicks in and starts what "ifing". Then my fear kicks in and starts to spiral into all kinds of thoughts. What if I'm going crazy? What if that cat wasn't really there? On and On and on..... :confused
-
brandonmississippi
- Posts: 64
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:39 pm
Welcome to the party. I find something new to drive me crazy every day. I think what if right and wrong do not exist, and that it's just something we've been taught. Maybe nothings wrong or right, maybe just natural. I also sometimes think that the world around me is an illusion. This may or may not relate to you at all, but may ease your comfort to know that somebody else thinks they are going crazy sometimes, too.
I'm so happy I saw both of your postings. I was starting to wonder if it was anxiety or something worse. I have been doing the same thing. I wake up at night to use the bathroom, and I start looking around. If I see something, I'll ask myself, "What if instead of seeing that, I imagined something else being there." I think we are just constantly trying to poison our minds with negative thoughts. It's like we are giving ourselves constant mental status evaluations. It's very exhausting. You are not the only one and now I know I am not the only one. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping through the night, because if I wake up, it's like my mind just starts right back up where it left off. What if this, what if that, and before you know it I am wide awake. Does anybody else have this problem? I'm really getting drained by this. I'm starting to dread going to sleep.
-
missobsessive
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:20 pm
Hi everyone,
I read your posts, and I can tell you that I used to do the EXACT same thing. If I heard something, I would think..."Did I really just hear that? Or am I imagining it." Or if I saw something like you said with the cat..."Was that really there? Or did I hallucinate???" I used to do this with EVERYTHING and it used to scare the crap out of me.
I remember laying on the couch and being afraid to close my eyes because I was afraid that if I opened them I would hallucinate something, lol.
I'm laughing now because I don't do that any more. I'm not afraid of seeing/hearing things that aren't really there. And I never did hallucinate anything or "hear" anything that wasn't really there. And neither will you guys. It's just our anxiety/scary thoughts and being very hyper-sensitive to that stuff and very aware of it.
I know it's not funny when you're going through it, but it will pass. Mine did. So will yours. Now I can think about that stuff and not be scared by it at all.
Good luck
I read your posts, and I can tell you that I used to do the EXACT same thing. If I heard something, I would think..."Did I really just hear that? Or am I imagining it." Or if I saw something like you said with the cat..."Was that really there? Or did I hallucinate???" I used to do this with EVERYTHING and it used to scare the crap out of me.
I remember laying on the couch and being afraid to close my eyes because I was afraid that if I opened them I would hallucinate something, lol.
I'm laughing now because I don't do that any more. I'm not afraid of seeing/hearing things that aren't really there. And I never did hallucinate anything or "hear" anything that wasn't really there. And neither will you guys. It's just our anxiety/scary thoughts and being very hyper-sensitive to that stuff and very aware of it.
I know it's not funny when you're going through it, but it will pass. Mine did. So will yours. Now I can think about that stuff and not be scared by it at all.
Good luck
-
Tinks.Kristi
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 9:23 pm
OH MY GOSH! I didn't know anyone else did this! Thank you so much for posting this!
I scare myself all the time,
especially when I wake in the night or I'm having an extra-stressfilled day...
A while back I was talking to my Mom and Sister in general conversation and I tried to bring it up, but the looks I got from them shut me up real quick-like... I really thought I was going crazy after that.
NOW.... I think knowing I'm not the only one is going to help me alot!
Thanks everyone!
K~
I scare myself all the time,
especially when I wake in the night or I'm having an extra-stressfilled day...A while back I was talking to my Mom and Sister in general conversation and I tried to bring it up, but the looks I got from them shut me up real quick-like... I really thought I was going crazy after that.
NOW.... I think knowing I'm not the only one is going to help me alot!
Thanks everyone!
K~
-
justgettingby
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:29 pm
Yep Tinks.Kristi,that's how I felt. That's why I needed to post this information. I needed to know if other people go thru this, and now I know they do! But it doesn't change the fact that these thoughts make us so scared and full of anxiety. Along with these thoughts are "feelings", the only way I can describe them, is the fact that you are NOT feeling yourself. I'm noticing too much, too sensitive to things or situations. That goodness that I can cope, but it's been difficult. I feel like I'm TRYING too hard to be the way I used to be.
I do the same thing as well, but I have been diagnosed with Pure-O, OCD. " Is this thought true? It's not today, but what about tomorrow? You are constantly checking and constantly seeking answers to ambiguous questions...You think you are getting relief by checking whether or not you are crazy or not, But what you are really doing is RUMINATING. We feed the anxiety by playing with the thoughts...yea its not true but what if?
Learning to live with ambiguity and uncertainty is a part of life. It gets easier with time. But everyone deals with this, not just us who are more hypersensitive and prone to anxiety.
Differentiating between positive self-talk and ruminating was a huge step for me. I would respond to those ambiguous questions with positive self-talk, but all i was really doing was ruminating.
The Positive self talk that works is the kind that doesnt attempt to answer these ambiguous questions. For example : This is just anxiety and I am ok. This is more helpful than attempting to answer what ifs, because we will never find an answer that will satisfy us. Dont get stuck in circular thinking, keep it simple " it is just anxiety, it is just obsessive thoughts, I don;t need to check."
EddyJ
Learning to live with ambiguity and uncertainty is a part of life. It gets easier with time. But everyone deals with this, not just us who are more hypersensitive and prone to anxiety.
Differentiating between positive self-talk and ruminating was a huge step for me. I would respond to those ambiguous questions with positive self-talk, but all i was really doing was ruminating.
The Positive self talk that works is the kind that doesnt attempt to answer these ambiguous questions. For example : This is just anxiety and I am ok. This is more helpful than attempting to answer what ifs, because we will never find an answer that will satisfy us. Dont get stuck in circular thinking, keep it simple " it is just anxiety, it is just obsessive thoughts, I don;t need to check."
EddyJ
" I feared I was going to lose control. I feel better now. Not because I regained control. But because I realized I never lost it in the first place."
-
justgettingby
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:29 pm
Thanks Eddy for your post, it make a lot of sense. The truth is that I've always been an obsessive thinker, always trying to please and make everybody happy. I'm a mother of three and having children is stressful in the sense that someone like me, is always trying to keep them safe from harm and illnesses. When it turned for the worse, is when my anxiety turned into producing thoughts of hurting my loved ones!!! 
It just turned my life around. I couldn't believe my mind was producing such thoughts. BELIEVE ME, my mind got VERY creative! It kept scaring me!! This anxiety spiraled several ways, too many to talk about. Until one day I googled "UNWANTED THOUGHTS" and BAMM! IT WAS THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE. I learned via internet that this was ANXIETY AND IT'S EVIL WAYS. In my hometown, we have NO specialist for OCD or a therapist to help with cognitive therapy, so I was on a mission to help myself. I discovered this forum though the book from Panic to Power and it's helped a lot, but I still have issues in over ANALYZING every thought and feeling that goes through me. This is where I have NOT been able to LET go of this issue. Right now, the fear that keeps a hold of me is the thought and feeling of going crazy and a fear of how to I distinguish anxiety thoughts from our REAL thoughts? I know it sounds Crazy (uuggg I hate this word) but it scares me. Any suggestions?
It just turned my life around. I couldn't believe my mind was producing such thoughts. BELIEVE ME, my mind got VERY creative! It kept scaring me!! This anxiety spiraled several ways, too many to talk about. Until one day I googled "UNWANTED THOUGHTS" and BAMM! IT WAS THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE. I learned via internet that this was ANXIETY AND IT'S EVIL WAYS. In my hometown, we have NO specialist for OCD or a therapist to help with cognitive therapy, so I was on a mission to help myself. I discovered this forum though the book from Panic to Power and it's helped a lot, but I still have issues in over ANALYZING every thought and feeling that goes through me. This is where I have NOT been able to LET go of this issue. Right now, the fear that keeps a hold of me is the thought and feeling of going crazy and a fear of how to I distinguish anxiety thoughts from our REAL thoughts? I know it sounds Crazy (uuggg I hate this word) but it scares me. Any suggestions?Hey,
Distinguishing between real thoughts and anxiety thoughts is hard for us because we are so analytical and creative. Anxiety thoughts tend to come from extreme emotion like fear. One amazing point someone on these forums made once was about a bumper sticker at his or her therapist office that read " You don't have to believe everything you think."
Now to your question as to which are my thoughts and which are anxiety, When you have a thought, you always have a second thought afterwards that says something like " do i believe this?...or why would i think this?...is this true?...clearly those are thoughts you don;t believe. Remember a thought is as powerful as you want it to be. Unfortunately we feed the negative anxious ones with intense fear and anxiety.
Cut the emotional response, then you can be rational. If you rid the anxious and fearful response, you can then be rational and destroy the irrational thought before it becomes an obsessive one.
I think understanding how thoughts work and how they mean absolutely nothing most of the time is very important
I leave you with two links about Dr. Steven Phillipson, a leader in pure obsessional ocd.
They gave me tremendous comfort and guidance.
http://www.vimeo.com/1120239
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php
Best wishes
Eddy J
Distinguishing between real thoughts and anxiety thoughts is hard for us because we are so analytical and creative. Anxiety thoughts tend to come from extreme emotion like fear. One amazing point someone on these forums made once was about a bumper sticker at his or her therapist office that read " You don't have to believe everything you think."
Now to your question as to which are my thoughts and which are anxiety, When you have a thought, you always have a second thought afterwards that says something like " do i believe this?...or why would i think this?...is this true?...clearly those are thoughts you don;t believe. Remember a thought is as powerful as you want it to be. Unfortunately we feed the negative anxious ones with intense fear and anxiety.
Cut the emotional response, then you can be rational. If you rid the anxious and fearful response, you can then be rational and destroy the irrational thought before it becomes an obsessive one.
I think understanding how thoughts work and how they mean absolutely nothing most of the time is very important
I leave you with two links about Dr. Steven Phillipson, a leader in pure obsessional ocd.
They gave me tremendous comfort and guidance.
http://www.vimeo.com/1120239
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php
Best wishes
Eddy J
" I feared I was going to lose control. I feel better now. Not because I regained control. But because I realized I never lost it in the first place."
-
justgettingby
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:29 pm
Once Again Thanks Eddy....you've shed some light on this issue of mine. I love the bumper sticker, 
It's helped me to see things in a different way. I've also familiar with the two links you provided. I've seen and read both of them. For me, I guess seeing & reading it more than once, has helped. I keep finding myself on this forum to remind myself I'm not the only one going through this. These past few days have been great, but with anxiety you just never know. It just creeps up on you.......... fearful of the next encounter. I wish we had some form of therapy here in my hometown, but that is not going to happen. I'm going to keep on reading and learning about this disorder until I can get a grasp of it (or I hope). But once again, thanks for the great information!!!
It's helped me to see things in a different way. I've also familiar with the two links you provided. I've seen and read both of them. For me, I guess seeing & reading it more than once, has helped. I keep finding myself on this forum to remind myself I'm not the only one going through this. These past few days have been great, but with anxiety you just never know. It just creeps up on you.......... fearful of the next encounter. I wish we had some form of therapy here in my hometown, but that is not going to happen. I'm going to keep on reading and learning about this disorder until I can get a grasp of it (or I hope). But once again, thanks for the great information!!!