Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 5:22 pm
Since these anxiety attacks/ panic attack started I have developed OCD.
I cannot go to a place and eat food unless I know it has been cooked to temp.
I cannot even eat beef out. I have to cookit myself and take the temp myself to make sure it is ok.
My hands have to be washed several times a day. My bar soap has to be shaved. The reason is I don't want anyone elses germs on my face.
In stores I won't touch the cart with my hands. I will not allow my kids to go into a pharmacy incase there is a virus in there.
My life wasn't always this way. I used to just go all over and do all kinds of things.
For awhile I was an animal foster but I stopped after a calf died. I got terrified that it had some disease.
Since then I started Vet Ast classes and found out the calf never had it's mothers milk because it was a bi product of the milk industry. So the odds were stacked against this calf before it arived. I also found out that many calves do not make it.
But i swore when I did have the calf that it had some major disease.
My obsessions have even been worse. See one time about a year ago I went house hunting. I walked into a house and there were chains in the floors of the house. They were there for guard dogs. It was in rough area of town and most likely used to drugs.
Well I started having a panic attack in the house because I thought I somehow got residue from a drug or something.
See I didn't know what a panic attack was then I just thought the symptoms of dizziness, and heavy hands meant I had gotten into something bad.
My heart rate shot up as well at that time. So I became addicted to checking my pulse, and blood pressure.
I would even check my pulse when I was with my husband. Continually scared my heart would stop.
The passed coulpe of weeks after getting the workbooks and such I am able to see that my thoughts are alot like some of the other people on the tape.
I am about to get 3 horses to foster and got 2 goats last week. Hopefully I can overcome this by not quitting. By pressing on and standing up to the fears.
As long as I take the right precautions and such everything should be ok.
I cannot go to a place and eat food unless I know it has been cooked to temp.
I cannot even eat beef out. I have to cookit myself and take the temp myself to make sure it is ok.
My hands have to be washed several times a day. My bar soap has to be shaved. The reason is I don't want anyone elses germs on my face.
In stores I won't touch the cart with my hands. I will not allow my kids to go into a pharmacy incase there is a virus in there.
My life wasn't always this way. I used to just go all over and do all kinds of things.
For awhile I was an animal foster but I stopped after a calf died. I got terrified that it had some disease.
Since then I started Vet Ast classes and found out the calf never had it's mothers milk because it was a bi product of the milk industry. So the odds were stacked against this calf before it arived. I also found out that many calves do not make it.
But i swore when I did have the calf that it had some major disease.
My obsessions have even been worse. See one time about a year ago I went house hunting. I walked into a house and there were chains in the floors of the house. They were there for guard dogs. It was in rough area of town and most likely used to drugs.
Well I started having a panic attack in the house because I thought I somehow got residue from a drug or something.
See I didn't know what a panic attack was then I just thought the symptoms of dizziness, and heavy hands meant I had gotten into something bad.
My heart rate shot up as well at that time. So I became addicted to checking my pulse, and blood pressure.
I would even check my pulse when I was with my husband. Continually scared my heart would stop.
The passed coulpe of weeks after getting the workbooks and such I am able to see that my thoughts are alot like some of the other people on the tape.
I am about to get 3 horses to foster and got 2 goats last week. Hopefully I can overcome this by not quitting. By pressing on and standing up to the fears.
As long as I take the right precautions and such everything should be ok.