I think I finally have found what is 'wrong'

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:11 am

I have had panic/anxiety for years and I've always known I obsess on things but thought it was just the anxiety.

Yesterday I was looking at a description of "Pure O" OCD. It sounds so much like me!

I'm really excited because now I can redirect a little bit and hopefully make more progress. I just finished another anxiety program and it helped me a lot but it focused on facing your fears such as driving, elevators, whatever. Well, I've never really been one to avoid things like that. I have had a problem with a few things such as the heat and being afraid of meds, but my main problem is these constant ruminations.

I called my old CBT counselor and I'm going to talk to him again about this new thought and see what he thinks. I know there are specific techniques to help with pure O OCD. Maybe I can finally feel "all the way" better. I'm so much better than I was but not exactly where I want to be.

This past week has been tough. It's my PMS week and I got some stuff stuck in my head and have been driving myself crazy (and hubby) about it. If I can learn to ignore those thoughts or break the cycle of circular thinking, I'd feel so much better. It's the constant back and forth in my head that causes the panic attacks. Usually it's something to do with "am I crazy" and trying to figure out why I might or might not be. . . this last round had to do with playing a video game too much. It sounds silly but it really caused problems for me.

Anyway, not playing the game right now but still realizing that there's something I need to work on.

I'm feeling hopeful about this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:42 am

Thats great that you're progressing. I myself have gone through a similar progress too and it's intresting...even though we've done the program at least once...there is still growth to do and thats still a good thing.

I'm pretty bad with videogames too...when i was growing up and going through my painful times..I used videogames to escape but i would play them like 8-10 hours a day and become stressed while playing them because i wasn't doing anything else so i can definately relate.

I think this is a great time to start a new thread on humor with obsessive thoughts...thank you

Mike

AnnieFannie43 · Post by **AnnieFannie43** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:58 am

Yeah those are always fun.

I used to play video games before I had kids for HOURS and HOURS.

Then one day I was working with this guy and he told me that he heard that playing video games can cause insanity. So that was the end of that for awhile. (D'OH!!!) Who knows where he got that from. . . just before I started that job I'd had 2-3 days off and I sat home playing this game called Critters all day for 3 days just about.

So, my little stint of playing PackRat on Facebook was no comparison, but it was still something that was too much considering my family. I was jumping on there throughout the day while I should have been working, causing me to work later (guilt) and then playing it after the kids were in bed until 12-1am so I wasn't getting enough sleep. This only went on for about a week, but then one day I realized what I was doing and I was already sort of obsessed with the game. I didn't play it at all yesterday so I'm feeling better about it. But I did go check to see what my friends had collected for the day. . .why do I care? I have no idea. LOL

The worst part was the obsessing about why I'm playing it so much and am I addicted, which turned into questioning if I'm addicted to the internet in general (probably). . . which turned into me checking to see just how much time spent online is considered excessive . . which somehow led me to the OCD Online site and helped me understand the root of my problem.

I'm looking for an 'ANSWER' to a question; a correct and proper answer. This serves me well as a QA Analyst, but not so much in my regular life. I'm considered really good at what I do because I'll hunt down a bug and figure out the exact set of circumstances that caused it. That is useful for my job. However even in that I freak sometimes because I get so sucked into my job sometimes I feel like I'm almost on a high. Then of course that scares me.

Whatever. . . I'll figure it out eventually. LOL

I had read that the problem with the pure o is just that. . .trying to 'figure it out' and really in trying to find our answers we don't ever accept the info and just keep looking for more.

Sometimes I think I should have gone into some life-time sort of scientific research. I would have been good at it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:44 am

Hi,
I also feel like this is my biggest problem (obsessive thoughts). Since I was young, I have always had one thoguht that seems to occupy all of my present moment.

Lately I cannot really pin doen what my obsessive thoughts have been, its mostly like "I will never feel better again" and just like negative thoughts and stuff like that. It is really debilitating and I hate it but I can't seem to get over it.

So I can def relate. i am actually consdiering a prescripion to see if it does anything for my obsessive thoughts.

Justin

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:07 am

I'm going to buy a book "Brainlock" and see if it helps.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:06 am

HAHAHAHAH!!!

Faith_TX...I...have ...to laugh...at that comment...

"Sometimes I think I should have gone into some life-time sort of scientific research. I would have been good at it

"

That is too funny!

I feel like that too sometimes.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:09 am

Paul, you're from Buffalo? Me too! What part of Buffalo?

Catwoman · Post by **Catwoman** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:31 am

Well, after buying that book and taking the test in the back. . . it's not me.

I thought I had problems with obsessing, because I do worry a lot. But, my previous counselor told me he wouldn't categorize me as OCD. Well, according to that test I'm not.

So I guess it's just "plain old" anxiety. Guess I should be relieved, but not sure.

I had been talking to a coach (not from here) for awhile and it helped, so I may just need a refresher.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:59 am

Originally posted by Paul R.:
HAHAHAHAH!!!

Faith_TX...I...have ...to laugh...at that comment...

"Sometimes I think I should have gone into some life-time sort of scientific research. I would have been good at it "

That is too funny!

I feel like that too sometimes.

If I could just get someone to pay me to surf the 'net I'd be in business. LOL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 27, 2008 6:10 am

Faith_TX,

Just to share a laugh/lighter side to your thread...I'd read your concerns over playing the online game too excessively...and I've come to the conclusion that I actually NEED a diversion; hobby, if you will! This is something that I'm exploring as I find that I have a need to actually get re-acquainted with myself and what I like to do...think I've put myself on the "back burner" for so long, I kinda forget what interested ME! So you see, in reading your posts, I was thinking you were A-OK for finding something that you enjoyed so and could keep your attention (this is something I'm also working on, as seems my attention span is that of an ant anymore!) :p
I'm also interested in that paying position for surfing the net...let me know who's hiring!
Have a great one...keep smilin'