Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone. Some of you may know my whole story. If not long story short, I was very against taking anti depressants for a while. I had Panic disorder, depression and a lot of scary scary scary thoughts. Well, 3 months ago I decided to go on an anti depressant because I was at a LOW point. I went on it and I have been doing much better. I was not getting scary thoughts and if they popped into my head it just wasnt a big deal anymore. I was coping with things really well. I am still on them but I have suddenly felt very very anxious lately. Im getting the physical symptoms of anxiety (like breathing and sensations of not being able to swallow) and than today I got a scary thought and I feel myself letting it get to me and its lasted all day when usually it wouldnt last all day. Im soooo scared of slipping back to my severe panic and depression. I can feel my anxiety getting so bad. Last week i had to give my cats away because the land lady made us and these cats were my loves, best friends and comfort. I cried and cried and was so stressed over it and miss them terribly. Also, I started eating more sweets. . Can this be bringing up my anxiety and scary thoughts. I dont want to be like how i used to be. I can feel myself feeling some derealization and those scary WHAT IF thoughts. I hate change very much and dont adapt to it well at all!! I hate being so sensitive. Why are all my issues suddenly flaring up again??? I cant go to the dr either because a month ago i lost my health insurance (which caused me great distress too). I dont know if i need to up my dosage of anti depressants . Also, I am running low on my ativan and dont know how i can get more since i dont have enough money to see and dr get another prescription and pay for the prescription. . . Why do things keep cahnging so much (for the bad) in my life?! I know it sounds negative but man ;d like to catch a break someday! I am soooo worried about the scary thoughts getting to me. The scary thoughts are what caused my major depression. Can anyone relate or give any advice please

It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot lately. Enough even to make a panic/depression free person miserable yet alone someone who has it. It is a VERY common fear of going back to the "old way." You must be strong and realize you have a choice. YES, it is possible to return back to the old way but NO you will not because you CHOOSE not to. It is not what you want. You want to be happy, so fight for it!

Whoa...Losing your health insurance and having to give up beloved pets that were like members of your family were two major things that happened to you recently. Of course you are feeling stressed and anxious! Anyone would be. You will be missing those cats for a while. That is normal. Accept that you will feel some depression from the loss...that is normal too.

I hear you repeating how scared you are of going back to the way you were before. But the more you feed that fear, the longer it will hang around. Try to face the anxiety head on. Remind yourself (ALL the time) how well you were doing for a few months there, and just because you are anxious now doesn't mean you won't feel good again. It doesn't have to be a backwards motion...unless you let it. Give yourself permission to feel some derealization and anxiety. It's really no big deal. It will go away...maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but you can work on your coping skills and it will go away.

Holly!!!! Call your Dr. that prescribed the ativan cause I'm sure they don't want you to Just Stop cold Turkey! That wouldn’t be good. You remember their pledge - Do no Harm!!! I believe they will help.
California should have all kinds of services to help you. Free Samples! Goggle the drug Company and prove to them that you have a prescription and they may send you some free samples. This is a great opportunity to Be your own Advocate! Take action as if you were helping a family member or your close friend. You can do this, Holly, I know you Know How to do This! I'll E-mail you when I think of more suggestions. Steve

I was suffering from depression daily and it would last for days. Had feelings of low self worth and many other emotions... plus under the care of a therapist and I still am. After taking Vilift for a couple of days, I noticed a marked change in my emotions and after 3 or 4 weeks the depression was almost gone completely. I have been taking Vilift for over 3 months and will continue to take it daily without fail. I can highly recommend this product to anyone suffering from depression. This product has changed my life completely, plus with the help of my therapist. Thank you."

Holly,

Hey lady. Hang in there. I can tell you for sure that eating more sweets makes me WAY more moody. For a time when I was having a lot of anxiety, I stopped all sweets and even most complex carbs. I've loosened up on that some lately, but it is not good for you at all. Especially if you have anxiety, because your blood sugar going up and down causes adrenaline.

As for the insurance listen to the others. You can call the doctor and tell them about not being able to pay and they should have resources to help you. I have a cousin that needed medication and we found a couple different programs to help her pay for it. It depends on your income.

And, remember that you can NEVER go back to where you were, because you have learned so much. It may still feel bad to have a day like that, but you will never go back because now you have tools that you can use to relax yourself and feel better.

I'm so sorry to hear about the cats. I'ma cat person too and I know that I would be so sad without my cats.

PM me or email me if you need to talk.

Holly - Have you applied for our Medi Cal here in Calif. since you are not working? You should be eligible if you don't have an income.. What about a low income clinic? I know several people who have used these when they were without insurance.

Hi Holly!!!! Hang in there kid. I want to let you know that Kaiser Permanente offers medical services for low-income individuals. Call and find out what they offer and what steps you need to take. So sorry about your kittys. Same thing happened to me several years ago.

Thank you everyone. Mary, i do have a job but i just dont get paid enough. I left a message with my psych. and said i needed a prescription of ativan because i am low but i think i will need to schedule a follow up with her. I just wish I had more money to take care of myself. It is tough too because my boyfriend is also developing depression big time. I looked at the computer and he looked up depression and i felt so sad. I dont want him to be depressed too. He doesnt have health insurance either so he cant see a dr but i really feel he too should be on something. Life is hard right now )-:

Do you think he was looking it up from being worried about you or do you think he's depressed?

It is hard not to effect those around us. I have noticed my husband has been more depressed lately and I'm starting to feel down also. We have to try and hold each other up though.