Stress Center Peer Support

Does anyone in the program with OCD ever second guess their past actions?

My OCD irrational thought cycles always seem to flare up with episodes of high stress. It then leads to what if thinking - did I hurt someone, do something wrong? Then I obsess that I can't remember what I did, and try to peice thoughts together like I am creating a story out of peices of things I see throughout the day, but it doesn't add up. Thoughts seem to cycle into "Am I crazy, did I hurt someone, and then I need to check and check again that I didn't hurt anyone. I know it doesn't make sense, but it causes such anxiety that I can't shake that I did something wrong.

It seems like many of the discussions talk about what people are afraid they will do, and my OCD is always a fear of what I might have done in the past (this is usually triggered at night, and continues for a couple of days). I usually think I did something in my sleep and can't shake the feeling.

I think this is OCD, but self diagnosing.

Do it all the time!

...and then you wonder why I have insomnia?

Well I'll say if it ain't OCD its a good enough substitute. My mind obsesses on the what if's, the If I'd only done it this way, to obsessing over work to the point it sends my blood pressure into the stratosphere and it takes me longer to get the job started than it usually does to get it done. And don't let me forget I'm a perfectionist on top of that.
One thing that has helped that I got lazy and quite now I've started back up is force feeding myself positive affirmations. And to combat the obsessing I have literally OUT LOUD (I do this in private cause people would think I was a nut if I did it in public)talked to myself like if I was a small child needing comforting from a bad dream. Talking out loud seems to drown out the thoughts. Luckily I can't think and talk at the same time. Then there is the "Serenity Prayer" I say it out loud it realy helps as it is designed to. It is: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to recognize the difference.
Take care

lucie

I've been struggling with those types of thoughts too. I've been looking on this forum for months to see if there was others with the same types of thoughts. Been distressed about the thoughts for awhile. Really has started to control my life and avoid certain things. One good thing is im learning more about OCD and want to get better. Your message and one other I've seen that had similar thoughts on this forum. Does not seem like many have these Obsessive thoughts. I have to check things to make sure im sure but never really am. Checking to see if i harmed somebody/done something wrong not remembering or if i had a lapse of time or something. I had thoughts that what if i was sleep walking, did something wrong and had no control over it. Have read that OCD is overcontrol. Trying to convince myself of that. I have had all the emotions, shame, guilt, anxiety to go with the thought. I was wondering if it was even OCD also. I do know that OCD is the doubters disease/ disorder of uncertainty. If Im doubting my own memory, knowing, and sanity it must be OCD. There seems to be a common thread that associates this to OCD. I also read that most people with OCD do not have memory problems. I have not been diagnosed with OCD but i have had the classic symtoms other than this thought. I think with OCD you have to look at all ..Life style, Diet, Knowledge, exercise, sleep, practice etc.

There are some great books for OCD
Brain Lock
OCD Workbook
Stop Obsessing<<[recommend this one)
Hope this message helps.