Stress Center Peer Support

hello
i have posted a couple of things out here and just wanted somemore reassurance. i went through some horrible anxiety after a surgery i had in february and have always been a worrier but never like this. i have seen a counselor and 2 docs and was diagnosed with severe anxiety. i have tried meds but i worry that they will make me go crazy and hurt myself or something worse because of all the hype over the black box labels. so with doc approval i pulled myself off my meds and have been still worrying like crazy that i was going to lose control and go crazy and harm a loved one and i get so worked up i can see it and it scares me. i have been dealing with this for 8-9 months now and i called my counselor yesterday after stupid me watching something over andrea yates and then scared i was like her and looking up info on her freaked myself completly out. since i have talked to my counselor i have somewhat calmed down but my thing is now how do i make everything i look at not negative for example any kind of cord i would get scared i would choke someone with them. all because my cousin told me that is what she went throught and i have made that an issue with me. knives is how mine all started i was terrifed i would freak out how do i just let all the anxiety go. i want to be able to be around this stuff and not get soooo anxious with bad thoughts. i know it takes time but how and what do i need to make it not so scary for me. i have tried the stop sign thing it just comes right back and the float thing works ok but i just feel sooooo like i am not myself becuase i focus on the bad and not the good anymore. i was never like this before and have nothing else wrong with me. just severe anxiety. i am willing to try herbal meds if there is anyone out there that can think of one that helps calm you down. oooohhhh geees this just needs to stop and leave me alone. lol i am fine when i get distracted then i started thinking about it again.

I know exactly how you feel when you worry about going crazy. I remember when that lunatic killed all those people in Virginia, it scared me to think that someday i could do something crazy like that. The important thing to realize is that anxiety disorder is not a prelude to other mental disorders. You cant become a pychopath from worring about becomeing a pychopath. There is a great disscussion with Lucinda and others in one of the first lessons on this topic. Your not crazy what your experincing is very typical with severe anxiety. Scarry thoughts are awful but there are ways to deal with them and once you learn that they seem to dissipate. I think you will eventually get a good grip on all of this. Lucindas program will get you started in the right direction.

thank you sooo much for you input. i seem to be able to distract myself alot better then i could when all this first started and realize that this is a good sign. i just hate that they label worrying as a mental disorder because everyone in the world worries. i know maybe this time next year this will go away and i do remember that when i was younger like elementary school i had a cousin tell me that meat was poisionus and i got to where i wouldn't eat. the school counselor had to sit with me for days and days to convince me it was not anything to worry about and finally i just got over it now it doesn't seem like any big deal and i don't know how i got over it i just did. so i know that i can beat this anxiety and win again. i guess being so scared about my surgery brought this out. who knows like my counselor said don't look for why it is there and let it go. so that is what i am doing letting it go. she also told me to stay off the internet but i just find this site helpful.