Stress Center Peer Support

Hello,

I am a 28 year old female, currently living with parents, and in a relationship.

My boyfriend and I are experimenting with a "open relationship" but are keeping it secret. Our families do not know (we don't want them to know, and also don't think they really have to know).

Any time I go out with someone, I sometimes have to lie (to my parents) about where I am going. Then, for weeks (sometimes months) afterwards, I obsess that they will somehow find out (ie: someone will see me and call to tell them, I will have given the wrong phone number and I will receive a phone call at the house, etc.) !! It keeps me awake at night, and has my stomach in knots all the time.

Could this worrying be OCD-related? I have never been diagnosed by a professional, but after reading books and articles, I am self-diagnosed.

I'm sorry if my question/situation sounds unreasonable, but I really don't have anyone to talk to about this.

Thank you!!

Thank you for your response.
There is a lot that I will think about.

You defintely do not have OCD based on these symptoms. What you have is severe guilt over this situation. Is there a reason for the open relationship other than freedom? If that's the case, I would break it off and date casually from now on. It will relieve your symptoms immediately, as well as prevent any illness you may acquire from this situation. I hope your being safe with all encounters. I've been in this situation before, and it can only bring misery.

I agree with EVERYTHING Mainstaymama said!!!

Hi Tweek12....would it be Ok for you and your boyfriend to let your parents know that you guys both agree to see other people. Your young, single and why not see other folks? Better to find out now if you and your boyfriend are "meant" to be together forever and what better way than to see other guys? There is nothing wrong with dating other people if it is agreed upon with both you and your boyfriend...if truley this is what you BOTH want. The second question would be...who are you pleasing...yourself or your parents? Why is so important to keep this a secret from your parents? You're 28 years old and are old enough to live your own life...I'm hoping your parents would support you if you just told them that this is a decision based on mutuality.

Good Luck! OCD..probably not, a bit obsessive, yes, but with reason.

Hi Tweek, I agree with Sidd's post above. Why keep it a secret from your family? Just tell them that you've both decided to take some time to re-evaluate your relationship and in the meantime you'll both be able to see others. Good luck to you!