Stress Center Peer Support

Hi there, I am a 33 year old female with OCD. I am have been married for 14 years and I have two sons ages 15 and 9. I am a very happy, upbeat person who loves life! I had a form of OCD that was with cleaning and keeping items in my home straight, etc.
A few years ago my husband committed infidelity in our marriage and my past compulsions turned into Obsessive scary thoughts of hurting my youngest son. I now have no OCD with cleaning and straightning. I was so terrified of these thoughts, not knowing why this was happening and then I became educated and I know this is just another form of OCD. I feel better knowing that I have the tools to cope with this OCD.
My question is this, every time I start to get "happy" about the stuff I used to love, like shopping, planning my future I get this horrible sensation in my heart and what goes through my mind is " Why even get happy when something may happen to you, if you get hurt by someone again or what if you hurt someone"? This is very strange and for the life of me I cannot figure this out, I feel like this is holding me back in every way, if it were not for this than I feel I would be complete. Thanks, Melissa

Melissa,

You have had a tramatic experience with your husband's infidelity and it would send anyone into a tailspin. Be gentle with yourself - you absolutely must do this. Soothe yourself all the time. It's hard to face emotional pain and I suspect your thoughts and obsessions are really about control, feelings of rejection and an overall sense of insecurity. You know your thoughts are not real. It's just another form of OCD from the scare voice, and you also know that the acronym (sp) for fear is: false evidence appearing real.

You will not hurt your son. I'd like to recommend a great book for this kind of OCD. Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Liebgold. Really helpful book.

Our OCD and obsessive scrary thoughts can surface easily from an upset going on in our lives. Be patient with yourself and really nuture that part of you. (It's easy to love ourselves when we are doing great. The key here is to love yourself even when you aren't doing well.)

Get the book. It will really help support you and give you the hope you need to move through all this.

Hi Boon, you always have the best responses in the world, thanks so much Boon, I will get that book =)