Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:38 pm
Today was my first day on the program, and after listening to Session 1, like my usual self, I raced through the workbook checking off in my head everything I am supposed to do - and then a funny thing happened!
I noticed a huge symptom that I'm not usually conscious of, but going through all the time - I found myself unable to breathe, my chest tightening, and my heart starting to race as I raced through the checklist in my head of EVERYTHING I had to now do.
But I CAUGHT MYSELF! I am really proud of myself for being able to do this on just the first session. I literally stop my own breathing every time I think obsessively like this. So I had to do some breathing and calm myself down writing some soothing dialogue.
Wow! What a realization, huh ...
OCD is so stressful! If I can ever overcome it, it will surely be a miracle!
I am such a perfectionist and surely convinced that I have to do EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME, OR IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Well this usually ends up with me not doing most or all of what I intended to do in the first place - because pressure leads to avoidance!!!!
God, I hope I can heal this OCD. Thank you.
I noticed a huge symptom that I'm not usually conscious of, but going through all the time - I found myself unable to breathe, my chest tightening, and my heart starting to race as I raced through the checklist in my head of EVERYTHING I had to now do.
But I CAUGHT MYSELF! I am really proud of myself for being able to do this on just the first session. I literally stop my own breathing every time I think obsessively like this. So I had to do some breathing and calm myself down writing some soothing dialogue.
Wow! What a realization, huh ...
OCD is so stressful! If I can ever overcome it, it will surely be a miracle!
I am such a perfectionist and surely convinced that I have to do EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME, OR IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Well this usually ends up with me not doing most or all of what I intended to do in the first place - because pressure leads to avoidance!!!!
God, I hope I can heal this OCD. Thank you.