Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone! I am new to this board. I have had anxiety problems all of my life, but my anxiety got very bad last summer. I was obsessed that something was physically wrong with me and that I was going crazy. I started seeing a therapist regularly, and also went on Lexapro. I have had some setbacks, but for the most part I've been doing great and getting better.

When I was going through my worst times last summer before I got help, I would sometimes have very scary and awful thoughts. I worried what if I go out of control and do something crazy, like hurt a friend or family member? I would see awful stories on the news about people killing someone and would think "what if I do that? what is stopping me from doing that?"

I know that these thoughts are irrational, I love my family and friends and hurting them is the last thing I would ever want to do. However, even though I know they are silly thoughts, they still scare me and upset me alot. Luckily these thoughts largely went away this past year but now they've come back and I hate that I'm having them. Whenever one pops into my head I panic and feel terrified and upset.

Does anyone have any advice as to how they deal with these scary and unwanted thoughts? They do nothing but make me extremely upset and I don't want them in my life anymore.

I know exactly where your coming from. Getting rid of scary thoughts is also one of my biggest challenge i get really scary thoughts of "what if" im sick "what if" always second guessing my self. But it helps to pray and talk to god for one and i know its hard but any time i have a negative scary thought i replace it with something positive. We are so used to thinking negative scary thoughts that it is like part of us but we need to start replacing it " the Thought" with a positive one get busy doing something to distract yourself. one day at a time don't think that you are going to be like this forever trust me i've gotten so much better and i was agoraphobic for a couple of years. Prayers and positive thoughts and people help. best wishes

From one Sufferer of OST's (Obsessive Scary Thoughts) to another, I know exatly WHERE you are coming from.
Trust Me!!
I have have OST's for about three years now but let me tell you, I am much better now than I ever have been.

First off, do you have the program? If not I would suggest getting it. Not only does it help tremendously but it helps with all the other characteristics that the "worrisome" person has. I am sure scary thoughts are a big part of your problem but the program helps you to see, really see head on, what "Character Traits" keep this whole Obsessive Thinking, Over Analytical, Pessimistic, attitude alive. By correcting those and making a conscious effort to change those "habits" because that is all they are, BAD UGLY HABITS, then will you find comfort and freedom.

It is NOT easy, I will tell you that. But I would say now that my OST do not scare me like they once did before.

Now getting to the thoughts I used to have- What if I killed someone?- I'm not HOMICIDAL
What if I killed myself- I'm not suicidal either- (as a matter of fact I can have a panic attack when someone mentions the word that is how much it scares me!)
What if I hurt my dog?- Huh?? My CUTEST YELLOW LAB, Piper!?!?!
They even took on some other wierd forms too..
What if I never wanted to leave my house ever again??- I was never agorahobic either
What if I could never look at a tree again?- I don't kno where the hell this one came from, but I do remember having it and telling my boyfriend who laughed hysterically when this one popped up. He has heard all of them befoe but this one was the WINNER!!- I think I saw atree that looked eerie and then the thought popped in. I don't know.
But now...
I can laugh at that.
When I hear news stories about people now, I can hear them, yes they do upset me sometimes, and I may think about them for awhile, but I do NOT obsess or Freak out like I used to.

Thinking back- my first one was staring by reading the newspapaer.

What you need to do is give up the "control" that you are giving to them. By saying "I hate them" or "I don't want to have them" or my favorite, 'WHY am I having them?"
You give them power, but when you can say "Ok so what, I am going to let this wierd thought be here and eventually it will go away. It does not represent who I am or what I want to do. It's just mental energy and everybody had wierd thoughts."
You can then diffuse it.
It takes tons of patience and tons of practice but the feeling of just being neutral to them, is yes very awkward and weird at first, but then you get used to it and they will just POP in and float on by.

It is important to catch yourself when you are saying," Im so sick of having these thoughts, why can't they go away?"
Because all that does is tell your self that there is something that you need to get rid of and you musn't think of them anymore! Well guess what. You set yourself up for more scary thought, frustration, and a helpless feeling.
But you are far from helpless. This is SO common for anxious thinkers, and it doesn't mean you have OCD either.
You are an obsessive thinker and that's it but you can cahnge!
Yes, I said that there are times that I have weird thoughts, but I do notice that they mostly pop up when I am stressed like for instance last week, we had my grandfathers funeral.
I miss him terribly, and I think of him all the time but during the funeral process I had scary thoughts, yet this time I knew it was my distraction to take my mind off of what was really going on which is dealing with his loss.

I am still grieving for him now. It hasn't even been a week, but the difference now is I am allowing myself to feel this and however long it takes it will go away. I am not reacting to it. The same has to be done with OST's.
Please Please Please get teh program if you do not have it yet, and while your waiting for this gem to arrive, get Lucinda's Book "From Panic to Power"- You won't be sorry.
You will feel like she is taking the words from your mind and putting them on paper!!
Take care and if you need to talk, I'm here!!!!
Lisa

All this OST is so new to me...please tell me it goes away!