Sexual Obsessions..anyone else?

Chief Crazy Horse · Post by **Chief Crazy Horse** » Fri Aug 31, 2007 10:59 am

KayJ and Stagerlee, you're the best! :p I guess I always overated stress. A great caring person, loving to all, loves children, visits the elderly, keeps in touch with family wherever they are, and a good christian man that was me. I guess I had one fault that too many people have, as much compassion as I have always had, it wasn't enough. Stress and muscle tension stress helped create hyperthyroidism/graves disease and I went way down hill from there!!! I never thought that I was too strong for anything to change me or ruin me, but I never really new how your health can affect your mind, physical is one thing, but mental? I NEVER new! My health problems created anxiety/tmj/ocd. So here I am falling apart from where I thought that I was closest to the Lord and a very strong christian man. Many hardships came my way in my fall from... I don't know... grace. I didn't judge others to my expectations, but I was always way too judgemental on myself and way too critical. A good and clear/clean conscience is a wonderful thing and so is the voice that states hey that it is wrong, don't do that or say you're sorry. But I had to be perfect in every way! I thank the Lord that He was ALWAYS with me and NEVER left me! So not enough compassion I said? Well I finally know now how people fall apart and either stray or fail in some way. My fault has turned into a much stronger part of me now that I have walked a mile (more like a hunderd) in anothers shoe. Temptations came my way, humility, physical problems and my mind going bonkers. My overactive thyroid had my mind racing, heart racing, tremers, graves had my eyes bulged out, too dry, then teary, and then there is the side affects from the meds along with the diseases. Steriods for my eyes created water weight all over, agitation, and more. I will not bore you with the 200 pages that I can write about all the sleep I never got for 6yrs, no one understanding because you can usually look pretty normal, hide it fairly well and the doctors miss diagnosing me and prolonging my illness. Oh also not getting regulated for like...ever up and down up and down for just too aweful long. Tapazol could not slow down my thyroid, with either specialist including the good one who could speak english (when I finally got him), so I had to take a radioactive iodine pill and then the doctor had to adjust my synthroid once I went underactive. A male, and a male my age doesn't fall into the catagory of getting this disease too often. And so many people can get regulated pretty quick, it's so common yet many times miss diagnosed. And when you finally get a specialist, he can't even speek english. And there is the whole insurance thing, which doctor takes which insurance, work changes there insurance policy, and certain meds don't get prescribed because of the insurance company. So enough with that, I now have much more empathy for others because I now have walked in their shoes. I have noticed that even if you don't have the same problem or disease as others, if you've walked even a 1/2 mile with a messed up head many of us understand eachother. I have been in this program for a short while, starting session 5 on monday and I have shared my experience with others. Others online here, and neighbors and strangers. It's actually helping them too just by helping them replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and you never know who really is hurting, many times it's the ones you could never imagine! I believe wrong is wrong and that there is a certain punishment that fits the crime. For every action there is a reaction, so we can't go on in life thinking that nothing really matters and anything/everything is ok. But now I have finally learned what God was trying to teach me, EMPATHY, everybody needs it! God Bless!!

Stagerlee · Post by **Stagerlee** » Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:48 am

Wow chief what an amazing testemonial.Your words will surley help somebody today. I have watched you on chat and in the forums and your desire to help others really shines through. You have been a blessing in the chat room always quick to respond to others needs. I am glad I have had the chance to get to know you on here and hope you will continue to come on here and be your happy and helpful self. I am proud to call you a friend and you have helped me a great deal,Bruce

Daniel1025 · Post by **Daniel1025** » Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:32 am

soccer,
thanks for the posting. how are you feeling? i also have the same thoughts. I have only been with women my whole life so I know that I am straight. I was a college swimmer and i have never sexualize any men. Now I am in a program of sexual/relationship abstinence and my mind started to spin. All it took is for a woman to ask me if I was gay - and all of the sudden it started to sink in my head to the point of causing me great anxiety. I know i am straight and it is making me want to be sexually involved with a woman when i am not supposed to (at least not yet), just to prove my point. I also have the bad habit of getting validated from women. Even before this obsessive thought surfaced, I would be intimidated in a social setting where there younger and better looking men, because i was comparing myself to them and was afraid that all the validation will go to them. I still compare myself but this intrusive thought is making it hard. Now if I look at a man for comparison, my head starts to introduce that intrusive thought. Never in my life I had this.
I am 37 yo, and although still attractive, not feeling as confident as I used to.
I also have thoughts aboout molesting my future children. I just don't watch any news these days, because everyting is a trigger. These thoughts (along with my general anxiety) are making fearful of people so i tend to isolate, which is very atypical of me.
any feedback will be appreciated - thanks.

soccer18 · Post by **soccer18** » Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:10 pm

Hey Daniel-

I am doing alot better with my obsessions. They are still intrusive about the fear "I am sexually in love with my best friend."..I lost the molesting thing..for me it took time. I don't know exactly what I did for it to pop out. I have moments where I will stress and worry. But for me I have realized that I fear "abondement"..spelt wrong sorry, I am just typing. My sister left the house because she was in an abusive relationship...and I never dealt with that conflict. So...for me when I get the obsessive thoughts/fear. I just say "I am thinking this because I don't want to deal with the pain that happend 11 years ago..and I am just scared she will leave me emotionally like my sister did...and I am just insecure with guys". I don't know if you feel this way or not...but I feeel EXTREMELY OUT OF MY BODY ALL THE TIME.

Sepp · Post by **Sepp** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 12:33 pm

i also have this same kind of obsession with sexual idenity i am having a rough time trying to extinct this obsession trying everthing. I am straight and can't believe these scary thoughts. Any suggestions

Jlbjea · Post by **Jlbjea** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 12:45 pm

Hi There -

I have these same thoughts and am doing well lately. I want to help you because I suffered a long time before this on-line forum was available.

Just remind yourself that they are just thoughts or fears. You probably (like me) have a very vivid imagination. These thoughts are not real. It's just your over active imagination.

When the thought comes in don't listen or converse with it. I received this advice and it has saved me many times. You're ok. Don't give the thought any value.

Maybe write a countering thought on an index card and carry it with you so you can look at throughout the day.

Something like: "I have this fear that I'm sexually in love with my best friend. Wow I'm shocked at what my mind can conjure up at times. That's a real stretch. Ok mind, what else can you come up with?"

Try it! I know you can beat this....

Take Care,
Jill

christensen.austin · Post by **christensen.austin** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 7:00 am

Sexual obsessions, man this is what i live with everyday of my life the words balls constantly repeats in my head over and over when ever im around, that the short of it but anything i think about seems to be turned sexual by my mind, its so painful. i have fears of molesting chilren i have the fear that my sexual thoughts are horrible it doesnt end. i feel ya.

~Noelle~ · Post by **~Noelle~** » Sun Nov 11, 2007 12:08 pm

Originally posted by Jlbjea:
Hi There -

I have these same thoughts and am doing well lately. I want to help you because I suffered a long time before this on-line forum was available.

Just remind yourself that they are just thoughts or fears. You probably (like me) have a very vivid imagination. These thoughts are not real. It's just your over active imagination.

When the thought comes in don't listen or converse with it. I received this advice and it has saved me many times. You're ok. Don't give the thought any value.

Maybe write a countering thought on an index card and carry it with you so you can look at throughout the day.

Something like: "I have this fear that I'm sexually in love with my best friend. Wow I'm shocked at what my mind can conjure up at times. That's a real stretch. Ok mind, what else can you come up with?"

Try it! I know you can beat this....

Take Care,
Jill

Thank you so much for this advice, Jill. I was having a real hard time dealing with my thoughts just now, but reading your post really made me put things in perspective again. Thanks.

~Noelle~ · Post by **~Noelle~** » Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:10 am

This post has been removed.

KC2002 · Post by **KC2002** » Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:22 pm

I think most of us with OCD have experienced the symptoms you speak of when it comes to do anything that is sexually deviant that we would not do. The best advice I can give one is remember that it's not you, but it's your OCD.