Stress Center Peer Support

Hello everyone my name is mark. I have been dealing with anxiety and panic since I was eight years old. I had my first panic attack for no reason that I know of at my grandparents house and I am 42 now and still suffer from Anxiety and panic from time to time.

As a teenager I dealt with my fears with drugs and alcohol for many years until I was about thirty then I quit all that and have not had anything since.

I grew up in a house with a mentally ill father who was in and out of mental hospitals my whole childhood. I witnessed allot of crazy behavior from him over my lifetime which caused me allot of stress and depression.

I became aware of positive thinking and breathing techniques to combat the panic. For years I thought I had it under control until one night my father was in the kitchen saying terrible violent things that he wanted to do to someone. Thats when my violent thoughts started. I was always and outdoors person I had hunting knives guns you name it I loved hunting. That night after laying down to sleep a terrible fear overtook me. I was attacked by thoughts that I was going to harm my mother. This caused me so much stress that I literally stayed in bed one month because I was scared that I was going to do the horrible things that were in my mind.

I threw away all my guns and knives in the trash. (Stupid I know) But at the time I thought I had no other choice. I have learned to somewhat deal with those thoughts now and not entertain them. But recently I went through a very stressful situation and the thoughts have come back stronger than ever. They include my hurting my son also now. I love my mother and son and would never want to harm them that is why i live in such pain anxiety and panic over these thoughts. I sometimes think it may be better if I was taken away but they need me I support them my son not only needs the material things i give him but he needs his dad.I cry as i type this because I love them so much I cannot believe I have had to deal with this horrible thing in my life.

I know it will pass as the memories of stress go away and i will have relief for sometime but for how long? I am scared to do anything that may cause stress because with stress the thoughts fear and panic come. I don't want to live like this anymore. I am ready to do something about it to get help.

I have only tried herbal medicines in the past because I fear what drugs do to you but I am thinking of buying the program because it seams like a self help program without the horrible drugs.

I am just thankful to know I am not the only one out here suffering.

God bless.

Hi Mark,

Welcome to the fourm, It sounds like you been having a tough time lately, but what you have to remember is that they are just thoughts, and I know they can be horrible but thats all they are.

It is the FEAR that keeps them alive, like the first time you had a panic attack, you were afraid of the next one, it is the same thing with the scary thoughts, once you are able to say I AM NOT AFRAID of these thoughts they will go away because you take the power that feeds them, which is fear.

The program will give you the tools that you need to help you LIVE again. I say try it what do you have to lose.

Good luck Mark,
Debbie

Hi Mark:
First of all you are not alone with your scary thoughts and with first hand experience I know just how scary they can be. In the past I had thoughts of hurting my partner, of thirty three years, whom I love dearly. Thoughts of stabbing her would rush into my mind and though I knew I wouldn't do it, it caused terrible panic nevertheless. Avoiding stress producing situations will never help you get over the anxiety or panic, because the constant fear of doing something terrible is always with you and causing the panic feelings you're having. I started the course over 18 weeks ago and can't tell you how much it has helped me and even squelched the angry obbessive , scary thoughts of hurting someone. PLEASE GET THE COURSE IT WILL BE THE BEST INVESTMENT IN YOURSELF THAT YOU EVER MADE!!!! That course along with my doctor's understanding has made me a much happier person then I've been in many years. The course will give you the skills to stare down the scary, angry and obessive thoughts and help you to walk through that anticipatory wall of fear thats holding you prisoner and stealing your peace. Please don't wait another minute order the course and all the support that goes with it, so you can start experiencing a more peaceful and joyful you. The best and most difficult thing to understand, and that the course points out over and over is that nothing outside of us is causing our anxiety and panic with its scary thoughts, we are responsibile for the scary thoughts WE put into our heads. The longer we try to blame the world outside us the longer we miss the peace and joy that awaits us. You need the powerful tools this course offers so that you can take responsibility for what goes into your head, then you will be able to experience the feeling of freedom that comes with healing. It is possible! It is doable! It is guarrranteed! You are capable, with the tools this course offers to make that leap to mental and emotional freedom from anziety, anger and panic. jUST DO IT!
bEST
Cathy Anderson FL

Thanks everyone for your comments. I am experiencing a set back I don't know if it is the adjustments in medication or what but my anxiety in the day are all day I was feeling alot better about a week ago. I have created more anxiety because of the set back I'm going to start with session 1 again and really focus on session 3 today. Has anyone experienced this type of set back I've been in program since april..

Thanks everyone for the kind responses. Just finding this forum has giving me a new lease on life. I thought for years that I was the only one that had this problem and never dared mentioned it for fear of being called crazy. Once you find out that others have had this problem and have overcome it. I feel much better now thank you guy's. I do realize though that I need to address the problem so I think I will begin with the program to do this. Thanks again and God bless.

So I too have been suffering these thoughts of hurting my boyfriend and also myself.
I've had panic/anxiety disorder for 3 years now, and I struggle with the fact that I used to be so care-free and laid back, I'm pretty much the opposite now, I can still be social, being social makes me feel better. But I came home from work one night feeling irritable and tired, and I had recently read a story about a man that killed his whole family because he went nuts and heard "voices", I thought to myself God will I ever kick this disorder or Will I end up like that guy, when I actually thought of this happening to me I had a 3 day attack, i kept having thoughts of an older crazy me hurting someone or my boyfriend. I'm also very hypocondriac so when I thought about the schizophrenia thing I thought well maybe if I'm having these thoughts I'm a schizo, this was very depressing as well, I know I'm not. So anyways, I found a few thought processes that made me stop the the thoughts and I was starting to feel better, but last night I went out for a few drinks and was ok until I went to bed, I started to confront these thoughts again and asked myself would I ever hurt or kill someone, and I let that negative me and the negative thinking answer yes and it would probably be exhilirating like all those creeps on tv say it is. I think I did this to get a reaction out myself, but because I was drunk I couldnt get anxious, then I thought my god I must be a schizo and maybe I will or do hear voices (again, I don't but I'm a hypocondriac) So i stopped thinking and went to sleep, I woke up into a world of panic,depression, and just fear that I let that idea of a negative me answer my question instead of blocking it out with a panic attack. This is all incredibly frustrating, I hate these thoughts and all day I've just wanted to jump off a ledge or throw myself into traffic or just cry, I would NEVER want to hurt or kill anyone. I'll start to feel better and more calm but then knock myself down for feeling better, I don't want to feel better about these thoughts, and I need some comforting!