Getting through the scary thoughts......

mrsworry · Post by **mrsworry** » Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:49 am

Hey everyone, I cant tell you what a brilliant help this website is to me, everyone is so great and supportive, and hearing sooo many similar stories really does make you feel like you are not the only one. Well Its about 8 weeks now since my first scary thought and i feel like a have a whole load of knowledge on how to handle them and it is such hard work but i know i will get there in the end. I truly wish on the day that i had my first scary thought that i knew what it was and did not get all anxious because i think i could have stopped it in its tracks but anyway, the main thing i am really finding hard is just my own company or like when my 18month old is napping in the day. I have been to the gym this morning for a 30 min run and swim and feel good but i just dont enjoy being home much anymore. My thoughts were the usual what if ones triggered from horrible news stories about horrible people hurting their children etc etc and then i started all the thoughts about what makes people go crazy etc etc. I mananged to get the book freedom from fear which is great and I am putting as much as i can into practice plus i have a new counceller who i am seeing every other week. I cant stop looking at other people in the street and friends and family and thinking i bet they dont have these thoughts why do i have them, im the most compassionate person you can get, i cry my eyes out at news stories, films anything like that, i hate insects and whilst my husband flushes them down the look i will set them free out the window! I know i have always had anxiety and been really controlling about where my kids go and they cant go here or they cant go in the car with anyone else, etc etc and then i had this problem with my eye which i thought was a brain tumor and gave me my first proper panic attack and it all seems to have triggered from there. Well sorry to ramble on i feel like i want to write sooo much and I know there are so many of us on here that are experiencing exactly the same. I just get so annoyed at why did i get this first thought from and go over and over it and my worst one is why did i get these thoughts and who has these thoughts!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:55 pm

I don't know how many people have scary thoughts but I bet it would surprise us if we knew. I think a lot of people just suffer in silence.

cindyv22 · Post by **cindyv22** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:29 pm

I agree with the Guitar. It would explain some what would otherwise be hard to understand actions. Mainly presented as something bad. Being able to communicate these deep dark thoughts and seeing that others have them too is a great help. Anyway great post mrsworry, hopefully one day soon you will be noworry.