never have been assertive but do a good job with anger.

Respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself; your feelings, concerns, and opinions and ask for what you want. Also, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty
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bradley1960
Posts: 28
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:34 pm

Post by bradley1960 » Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:06 pm

I'm still working very hard on session 6 and my anger. Thus I seem to be falling behind in session 7 with assertivness. Both sessions are very much needed in my life. I have always been one to avoid any confrontation of any kind unless backed into a corner with no way to avoid it. Then usually the response would end with an angry note. any suggestions to effectivly apply these two. sessions to my life will be greatly appreciated. I am making some headway but it seems so much more difficult than some of the other sessions. I'm not afraid of hard work but it seems to be overwhelming at times. Looking forward to your suggesdtions; Bradley.

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:30 am

My parents did not often show anger, and I wasn't allowed to be openly angry as a child. In later life I discovered I have a pretty big temper, so did need help, and learned plenty in Session Six. Because of the type of work I've done throughout my life, Session Seven is not a problem for me. If you can list some examples, it is easier for me and others to make suggestions. As for confrontations, if a person is battle ready angry, I just walk away. I don't enjoy that kind of anger, either.

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Aug 18, 2008 12:43 pm

Hi pecos and thankyou for suggesting specifics. I scored 100 on the evaluation test for session 7. almost any situation where I feel wronged seems to be easier to drop than to persue face to face with the person who I feel wronged. forgiveness comes easier than discussion. Asking for a raise or better pay takes weeks and alot of anxiety before i can build up the nerve to ask. The last two jobs I resigned from gave me a pounding heart and tension in my chest. Mostly because I liked the people I was leaving but had an oppertunity for improvement in income and amount of hours scheduled. I knew they would try to get me to stay but I knew the position was still going nowhere. I would have to be firm. once any of these situations is over I have usually handled them fairly well and it wasn't that bad once the session was started. Most of the time it comes out rather well but the anticipation leading up to it is very uncomfortable. Telling a friend no when asked to do a favor is also difficult. And my friends are good friends and would understand and do on those occassions when I say no. Our friendships are earned and held to high standards. We respect each other so I have no real reason to feel this way. Not tipping a server in a resturant when his/her service was really bad also makes me feel guilty even though they didn't earn a tip. When the boss reprimands me for something and I disagree it takes everything I have in me to voice my opinion and sometimes takes me days to actually bring up my opinion. these are a handful of the most common occurances in my life but not the only ones. thankyou for your time and caring, Bradley.

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:00 am

I understand anger. I am brand new to the program and I am learning a lot about myself. One of them is putting myself first. If I am uncomfortable with it, it has to go. There was a time I would put up with a lot of complaining from other people because I put them first even though it exasperated me. Of course, these same people would continually come to vent their problems and actually what they want is sympathy and an odd way of getting love from anyone who would listen. Then it would get to a point I would explode because I couldn't take it anymore. What I should have done, is stopped it the very first time it occurred, gently of course but firmly to let them know I don't want to hear it. You know what they would do? Go to someone else.

Teressa, K.

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