I just started session 7 and I have a few random thoughts....
I could totally relate to Lucinda when she talked about her BF and the woman that was hitting on him. I would've been the one to get angry and act out and end up pushing the person away.
It seems that I know what I do wrong, but since I've not yet learned any alternative, I continue with the old destructive behaviors.
I'm learning that I don't need to be so afraid of my feelings and I don't have to react so quickly. I can take time out to recognize what exactly I'm feeling and that I can be honest with my feelings to people close to me. I never had that growing up so I've gone all these years reacting and lashing out.
It's a little scary because it's put of my comfort zone, but I know in my heart that this is better for me.
Old Bad Habits
I can relate aleisa!
I am reading a book about Codependency right now that had a really good quote about reacting. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with you...it really hit home for me personally on my struggles with this issue:
"When we react without honest thought about what we need to do, and how we want to handle the situation, our emotions and behaviors are being controlled - triggered - by everyone and everything in our environment. We are indirectly allowing others to tell us what to do. That means we have lost control. We are being controlled. When we react we forfeit our personal, God-given power to think, feel, and behave in our best interests.. We allow others to determine when we will be happy; when we will be peaceful; when we will be upset; and waht we will say, do, think, and feel. We forfeit our right to feel peaceful at the whim of our environments. We are like a wisp of paper in a thunderstorm, blown about by every wind."
I am feeling good about stopping the paper of my life from being blown about! Best wishes on your success as well! Way to go!
Best,
Dawn
I am reading a book about Codependency right now that had a really good quote about reacting. I hope you don't mind me sharing it with you...it really hit home for me personally on my struggles with this issue:
"When we react without honest thought about what we need to do, and how we want to handle the situation, our emotions and behaviors are being controlled - triggered - by everyone and everything in our environment. We are indirectly allowing others to tell us what to do. That means we have lost control. We are being controlled. When we react we forfeit our personal, God-given power to think, feel, and behave in our best interests.. We allow others to determine when we will be happy; when we will be peaceful; when we will be upset; and waht we will say, do, think, and feel. We forfeit our right to feel peaceful at the whim of our environments. We are like a wisp of paper in a thunderstorm, blown about by every wind."
I am feeling good about stopping the paper of my life from being blown about! Best wishes on your success as well! Way to go!
Best,
Dawn
Aleisa,
This is scary for all of us because we are people who have been very sensitized by our thoughts. We are learning to retrain them here. Session 7 was hard for me, but session 8 even harder because it's those "what ifs" that get me. I've noticed a pattern with myself by doing this program. It all starts with a fear (either real or imagined) and then I feed this fear with my negative thoughts and my what if thinking until it has become so real that it invades my life. It's as though I'm creating this and inviting into my life. But now I am aware of this and I never would have figured this out had it not been for this program. And this awareness means I can finally deal with the real enemy and ultimately put a stop to it!!! That freedom is what keeps me going, even when I relapse or fall into old ways. Go back and read your journal and see how far you've come and then embrace that progress, complement yourself, and keep going. No one expects you to be perfect here, and you will progress at your own rate. But just remember you are making progress. God Bless!
***Mom I love that quote, can I paste it and print it so I can hang it above my desk at work?
This is scary for all of us because we are people who have been very sensitized by our thoughts. We are learning to retrain them here. Session 7 was hard for me, but session 8 even harder because it's those "what ifs" that get me. I've noticed a pattern with myself by doing this program. It all starts with a fear (either real or imagined) and then I feed this fear with my negative thoughts and my what if thinking until it has become so real that it invades my life. It's as though I'm creating this and inviting into my life. But now I am aware of this and I never would have figured this out had it not been for this program. And this awareness means I can finally deal with the real enemy and ultimately put a stop to it!!! That freedom is what keeps me going, even when I relapse or fall into old ways. Go back and read your journal and see how far you've come and then embrace that progress, complement yourself, and keep going. No one expects you to be perfect here, and you will progress at your own rate. But just remember you are making progress. God Bless!
***Mom I love that quote, can I paste it and print it so I can hang it above my desk at work?
-
Mary Wargo
- Posts: 274
- Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:37 pm
Prv31Mom- I read that book years ago and also went to co dependency meetings for a year. It was very helpful. I learned a lot about myself and why I was getting involved in certain relationships that were not good for me. It must have done some good cause I haven't had a dysfunctional relationship since.
That is a great testament to the book, Mary! luvpiggy (another visitor on these boards!) also recommended to me Henry Cloud's books on Boundaries and Boundaries on Marriage. I started reading the second one this morning and it really dove-tails with the codependency issues. I'm working on getting rid of my codependent attitude...thanks for the encouragement through your success!!
Best,
Dawn
Best,
Dawn