Stress Center Peer Support

I believe this would be the best place to post this.

I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and am a very open person. This is a good trait, I think, but many times gets me into trouble.

Case in point: I'm making calls for our company, which I'm not directly involved in but my husband and his brother run together. It is administrative work and it's mainly about updating people's contact information and asking them some basic questions.

Today, 2 people I spoke with managed to get information out of me that I shouldn't have told them. The information I gave them was that I am the wife of one of the partners and just some other info that I should have kept confidential, like that I'm not calling out of an office and just stupid stuff like that (nothing proprietary, just more personal type of info that I shouldn't divulge).

My husband kind of freaked out that I divulged that kind of stuff. I don't know how it happened, but I'm calling new people to the company and they are friendly and asking me all these questions.

I'm just finding it hard to control the conversations. The people I call just start talking about themselves and then end up asking me these questions. I'm really calling to make sure I have their information correct. Maybe they find me an 'ear' to their problems, I don't know, but I am not trying to converse with them, aside from what I'm supposed to do.

Can anyone give me some quotes, lines or suggestions when people start asking me this stuff.

Some of the things they are asking me:

"What is your position in the company?"

"How many people have signed up this month?"

"What do you do for the company, exactly?"

Right now, I am making calls to verify their information, I don't really have a title or position in the company. I do this part-time, on my time off during the day for 1 or 2 hours, at home, since I homeschool the kids.

Any suggestions would be appreciated! I also have a hard time getting off the phone with some of these folks, they tend to want to talk my ear off and I sit there listening looking at my watch. I am getting paid to make these phone calls and just don't have the time to take care of everyone's issues! I tell them I will pass it on or take care of it, but they still yammer on to me.

I feel really crappy and stupid for saying the things that I shouldn't have. Anybody else go through this?

Hey Shifrah,
I was just wOndering if these are type of questions that you are required to answer???

If not, then, I would just say in a business like tone...Thank You for your time and hang up the phone!!!

This way they would not have the chance to ask me anything

If these are not required answers, then, it really is none of their business and I am sure you don't have time to just sit and chat with these people!!!

Just get straight to the point and keep it short and simple is my answer to this one

Have a great night!!! God Bless You Shifrah!!!

No I'm not required to answer any questions, but when someone directly asks you something, do you just say "I don't know" if they ask you what your capacity is?

Some things I just can't say "I don't know" and I can't just hang up on them. My purpose is to update their contact info and get off the phone, but it's not always that easy (for me) to do.

I just need some tips on how to detach myself emotionally from it.

Hi Shif
I am an old phone pro..haha
What you say to the question is you are a staff member or secretarial assistant to Mr Olly, and that you are just quickly updating their application or profile information to keep accurate records.
What is your postition in the company? Secretarial assistant
How many have signed up this month?
I do not have that information on company sales
statistics. Would you like me to have Mr Olly call you back with that information?
When I worked for the phone company often people wanted to know where I was at , what they wanted to really know was I in the USA? and I would say we are in Colorado they sighed a big sigh of relief that it wasn't an outsourced job in India somewhere. They don't necessarily want your address and city.
Letting them know up front that you would just like to quickly get the info verified and that it won't take much of their busy schedule helps too. And if you are verifying you can say things like Mr Jones do you still reside at
111 Elm St
Boston Mass.
and is your contact phone still this number we are talking on now 123 -555-1212
and if not would you like to update your contact number and email?

Shif its after 1 in the morning !! You should just call me tomorrow and we can practice
okay? I'll shut up now

Jilly~

Dear Jill,
I love your advice to Shifrah!!! I think you have given her much better advice than I did!!!

I really think you are good at answering these type of questions!!!

I pray that both you and Shifrah have a wonderful day!!! Love you both...God Bless!!!

Thanks I was soooo sleepy when I posted a response that I was rambling haha.

Jill thanks, I will try to get in touch with you sometime today. I read your response last night (it was more like this morning) - I knew you'd have a great response with your background experience.

Wow I can completely relate to you Shifrah. On the phone and in person I tend to relate too much personal info. As a shiatsu therapist people would ask me personal questions and I'd feel uncomfortable with them but i feel that i'd be rude if i didn't answer them.

Phone jobs i've done too I would relay too much of my dislike about the job that i was doing (you could probabbly see how that would be a problem).

Even at home too. I'll say that i'm going out for a walk when i want to be by myself and my friend will ask me where i'm going...I don't want to tell him because i want to be by myself but i tell him anyways and then i resent myself for doing so.

Jillzmind

That was a great response, thank you. From reading your response it seems like you are saying well you can tell them generalized information or you can tell personal information and that choice is yours. People have reasons behind the questions they ask and general information can fulfill some of those reasons.

Thanks for bringing this back up Mike, I have made calls since this thread was started. Some are easy, while others more challenging. I still get asked what I do, I've been asked how long I've worked for the company, and I've even been flirted with. The flirting was really annoying, and when I told DH about it, he said I should have told the person whose wife I was. How do you like that.

Anyway, I'm getting a little better about being "vague" - I guess this is good practice.

Mike I think a good response to "where are you going?" you can just say, "Oh, I'm not sure yet-would you like me to call you when I get there?" And then whether you call or not is entirely up to you, LOL. Maybe they are just concerned about you and want to know of your whereabouts in case you don't come back in time.

I know "exactly" what ur going through. My personal experience was " 1st putting them on hold, so I can get my bearings ; 2nd, UR IN CONTROL, U HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOW ANSWER THERIR QUESTIONS !! (AND I'M A SOFTLY TOO) BUT UR JOB IS TO GET THEIR INFO, AND U CAN BE POLITE BUT FIRM, AND SAY EXCUSE ME, I'M JUST DOING A SURVEY. IF AND WHEN THEY DO ASK U QUESTIONS, AND IT IS ON UR TIME, JUST MAKE IT "SIMPLE". bUT I HEAR U, I WAS CALLED NAMES, FROM ANGRY PEOPLE, AND AGAIN WOULD PUT THEM ON HOLD AND REGAIND MY COMPOSURE. KEEP SAYING TO URSELF, I'M IN CONTROL, NOT THEM. DO NOT LET THEM REEL U IN. AND WRITE THINGS DOWN SO FROM NOW ON U CAN COME BACK WITH AN ALREADY PREPARED ANSWER.'
FOR FUTURE CALLS. HOPE I HELPED !!