Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:08 pm
Let me try this again, I posted this in the January group session but it seems the last post answered was in July :/
Hello
I feel like my parents and family have very high expectations of me. When they "ask" for a favor, they're really telling me. So I've been working on being more assertive. I finally told my sister I couldn't take care of her pets while she was on holidays because it did not work with my schedule. She took a big fit and was very pissed off and angry with me. She said that family should always help out when asked because they're family and that's what family does for each other. While I do agree that it's good to help family out, I say YES every single time anything is asked of me. I told her I was just trying to find balance in my life and stand up for myself which she didn't like. She said that she's now scared to ask me for anything. Even though I clearly told her, I still want to help her out in the future. Anyways, HUGE guilt trip and it has left me feeling super guilty like it's almost easier to be super passive and do everything for people because I wouldn't have to go through this. To top it all off, i'm dating someone who is very assertive and doesn't agree with my family always expecting me to house sit or take care of pets. So now I feel like it's two against the rest of the family.
Hello
I feel like my parents and family have very high expectations of me. When they "ask" for a favor, they're really telling me. So I've been working on being more assertive. I finally told my sister I couldn't take care of her pets while she was on holidays because it did not work with my schedule. She took a big fit and was very pissed off and angry with me. She said that family should always help out when asked because they're family and that's what family does for each other. While I do agree that it's good to help family out, I say YES every single time anything is asked of me. I told her I was just trying to find balance in my life and stand up for myself which she didn't like. She said that she's now scared to ask me for anything. Even though I clearly told her, I still want to help her out in the future. Anyways, HUGE guilt trip and it has left me feeling super guilty like it's almost easier to be super passive and do everything for people because I wouldn't have to go through this. To top it all off, i'm dating someone who is very assertive and doesn't agree with my family always expecting me to house sit or take care of pets. So now I feel like it's two against the rest of the family.