What correlations do you see between Lessons 7 & 4?

[MirandaLey]

Hi everyone. Was interested to know what patterns or connections you see between Lessons 7 & 4.

Here is what I've come up with:

Our expectations about ourselves need to be more reasonable. That way when we work on any new skill or avoidance, such as beign assertive and standing up for ourselves, we can do so confidently.

If we lower our expectations concerning the behaviour and attitudes of others, we won't be so hurt when tehy offend or dissapoint us -- we can come from a place of assertiveness instead of victim-thinking.

I'd love to hear everyone else's connections they've made!

[J2012]

I agree.

Also, session four allows us to notice the unrealistic expectations that others have of us (and some that we have of ourselves) and session seven gives us the ability to free ourselves from feeling like we must live up to those expectations.

Other's expectations as well as our own lead to depression and anxiety - Learning to manage these expectations by being assertive lessens our feelings of anxiety and depression.

[findpeace]

I never thought of a connection between the two lessons, but you may be right.

I do think when there is a difference of opinion or there is some situation when you need to get what you want, to mention myself (I) and not accuse the other (you) and make that person defensive.

[Scylla]

I had an unrealistic expectation this month that I would get a refund from my gym which charged me $70 instead of the usual $24.50. I wanted to get that refund and I didn't wind up with a refund because they don't give retroactive refunds. I knew I wouldn't get one, it didn't matter how assertive I would be. So my expectations are lowered. I managed to survive not getting a refund. I'll make my SSI last this month. I'll do my best with that. I'm not getting my refund. Oh well. I was assertive and told them thank you. I'll be charged $24.50 next month. I had to pay for my car registration this month anyhow. I probably have exactly the amount I should. I think I'll be okay. I might even survive the month long enough to pay my book editor. I have a novel I've written that needs final editing before I publish it.