it's a constant struggle for me to be assertive
Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:23 pm
i have been through the program once already. i am going through it a second time.
one thing that seems to be one of the hardest things for me to do is to just say what is on my mind, or confront people, or ask for help, or to say no.
i work at a hotel, and i wanted to work in the restaurant area for a change, so they gave me bussing shifts on Sunday mornings and after that i work on restocking the mini bars in the hotel rooms with a couple of other guys.
the guys don't do everything the way it is suppose to be done, but i want to do it right. i also don't want to be the only one who is doing it right cause then i am doing more of the work than they are. for example, they don't always take the time to restock the closet where we keep back stock, and i don't think fully stock the cart with supplies before going around to rooms. so if they are out of things, they put a different item in it's place, which can cause confusion so that either a hotel guest over pays for an item or under pays. either way someone loses money and i don't want that. also, if they aren't restocking with the right items and i come to a room, i see it and have to take the time to put the right item in there. so this is frustrating for me, and i want to say something but have been dealing with my fear of what their reactions to me will be and what other people will think of me if they talk about me.
a couple times this past week i wanted to say something to one of them, but every time he was near by, i felt the intense feelings of "aaaaah!" and didn't say anything. i ended up feeling exhausted from wanting to say something but not and dealing with the intense anxiety. i also felt depressed and down on myself for not doing it.
this has been on my mind a lot the past few days.
I know a good part of the issue with speaking up is cause of the negative messages that so easily pop into my head.
I have also told myself positive things in the morning before work. Like i realized one morning that although i was anxious about this, that the anxiety is a normal feeling and it was ok to feel anxious. i honestly felt calmed down by this. But then when i saw the guy and wanted to say something, i freaked!
i would really appreciate it if someone had words to help me out. Some encouragement, and maybe some words of advice. i know others out there experience the same thing. how did you handle these feelings and situations. any special "tricks" you found along the way? anything helpful would be appreciated =) Personal stories may even help, may be insightful.
Thank you
one thing that seems to be one of the hardest things for me to do is to just say what is on my mind, or confront people, or ask for help, or to say no.
i work at a hotel, and i wanted to work in the restaurant area for a change, so they gave me bussing shifts on Sunday mornings and after that i work on restocking the mini bars in the hotel rooms with a couple of other guys.
the guys don't do everything the way it is suppose to be done, but i want to do it right. i also don't want to be the only one who is doing it right cause then i am doing more of the work than they are. for example, they don't always take the time to restock the closet where we keep back stock, and i don't think fully stock the cart with supplies before going around to rooms. so if they are out of things, they put a different item in it's place, which can cause confusion so that either a hotel guest over pays for an item or under pays. either way someone loses money and i don't want that. also, if they aren't restocking with the right items and i come to a room, i see it and have to take the time to put the right item in there. so this is frustrating for me, and i want to say something but have been dealing with my fear of what their reactions to me will be and what other people will think of me if they talk about me.
a couple times this past week i wanted to say something to one of them, but every time he was near by, i felt the intense feelings of "aaaaah!" and didn't say anything. i ended up feeling exhausted from wanting to say something but not and dealing with the intense anxiety. i also felt depressed and down on myself for not doing it.
this has been on my mind a lot the past few days.
I know a good part of the issue with speaking up is cause of the negative messages that so easily pop into my head.
I have also told myself positive things in the morning before work. Like i realized one morning that although i was anxious about this, that the anxiety is a normal feeling and it was ok to feel anxious. i honestly felt calmed down by this. But then when i saw the guy and wanted to say something, i freaked!
i would really appreciate it if someone had words to help me out. Some encouragement, and maybe some words of advice. i know others out there experience the same thing. how did you handle these feelings and situations. any special "tricks" you found along the way? anything helpful would be appreciated =) Personal stories may even help, may be insightful.
Thank you