Stress Center Peer Support

Ever since childhood I was angry and would get reprimanded for expressing my feelings towards my mom and today I have trouble saying what's on my mind and how to say it right so as to not offend someone. Im always afraid the other person will get mad or yell at me like my mom and siblings would do. whenever i do say something to someone on how i feel or what i think, it always comes out wrong and i feel bad but i just don't know how to say things the right way. I really need help in this area so that i don't get stepped on all the time and so that I don't feel like im being used all the time.

Hi steve Ill be starting this session in a couple of days but I know what you mean. My family gets defensive when I try to talk about a problem. They see it as an attack. I think its important for us to still express how we feel in a respectful manner. I do believe people wont always cooperate but that doesnt mean we shouldnt get it out there. Do it anyway and maybe in time theyll start to see its nothing personal against them. Maybe just start out doing it for yourself to empower you. Good luck.

I can really relate to this. I think it has a lot to do with the people pleasing personality so many of us tend to have. Wanting everyone to like us. Don't want anyone to have ANY negative feeling towards us. I am not on that session yet, just starting 6, but I know I will have A LOT of work. I am starting to practice a little now with smaller things. But a lot of it I think is remembering to use I statements as to not "accuse" or get them on the deffensive. I personally plan to get a couple books on assertiveness when I get to that session, I will need a lot of extra help I'm sure!!
Wishing you the best of luck!! You can do it!!

Hi all,

I know this last post if from a couple months ago, but just wanted to share that I bought "The Assertiveness Workbook" by Randy J. Paterson a while ago. It was really helpful in this area, very informative and helps you learn a lot about yourself in this area, which will help you realize what behaviors to work on more.

You might want to look into it!!

Thanks Missobsessive... I had seen that book before and almost got it. I don't remember why I didn't. I am already reading a book and have another one or two in-line, but I think I will check that out also. Assertiveness has always been hard for me Thanks for the recommendation

Thanks for the book idea. I am just starting Session Seven.
There are so many great book ideas out there I never know where to start !
I have read " FROM PANIC TO POWER ", Lucinda's book.
Then I read " Been There,Done That? DO THIS! " by Sam Obitz.
Now I am reading " The 7 Wonders That Will Change Your Life " by Keith Ablow, MD and Glenn Beck.

Lynda