avoiding back lash

Respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself; your feelings, concerns, and opinions and ask for what you want. Also, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty
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chris001
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 2:28 pm

avoiding back lash

Post by chris001 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:55 pm

I don't have a strong relationship with my son and his wife. It is almost nonexistant. I have been invited to a birthday party for a 6 yr. old step great grandson that I only see on his birthday and on Christmas. I feel as though they are taking advantage of me and I would like to tell them that I don't feel obligated to give him a gift when I never see him or have any knowledge of what he likes. My friend has warned me to think of what the reprocusions could be if I do this. I feel like I have to go or there will be big trouble from my daughter-in-law and my son. What do others think?

Paisleegreen
Posts: 1778
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm

Re: avoiding back lash

Post by Paisleegreen » Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:21 pm

I'm thinking that you as the Grandmother and older person, that you should go to the Birthday party, take a gift card and put some money in it if you want. Giving...always helps...whether you want to or they deserve it. The 6 year old is innocent in this and you can be an example and maybe start a relationship. You also might want to have an escape plan if things don't go well.
Good Luck and tell us how it went. Paislee :mrgreen:

jkulag
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:46 pm

Re: avoiding back lash

Post by jkulag » Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:41 pm

It sounds as though you may feel some hurt about these relationships. I would certainly go to the party and bring your grandchild a gift. If you can put aside any past hurts or ill feelings, that would be best. If I were in your situation, I would just try to be loving, kind and forgiving. I try to always take that approach with people I feel conflicted about because I know it will leave me feeling better about myself and with no regrets. Best wishes... jkulag

chris001
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 2:28 pm

Re: avoiding back lash

Post by chris001 » Fri Jul 22, 2011 7:46 pm

I went to the party and took a card with money for a college fund my son was starting for his step grand child. It was an arcade with all sorts of games and I had a great time! I played air hockey with my son and enjoyed getting as many tickets as I could for the birthday boy. Thanks, you were very right. I needed an "attitude adjustment".

jkulag
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2011 2:46 pm

Re: avoiding back lash

Post by jkulag » Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:16 pm

Bravo !! What a great story to hear. I'm impressed with your courage and generosity. Thanks so much for telling us how it all worked out. Take care...jkulag

Paisleegreen
Posts: 1778
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm

Re: avoiding back lash

Post by Paisleegreen » Wed Sep 07, 2011 1:40 am

That's super! Glad to hear it! Yippee! :D Paislee :mrgreen:

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