Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 4:15 am
So I've really noticed how much I LACK assertiveness. Oh my goodness do I ever. I never realized it before! After really trying to apply these skills, I've really noticed how much of a people pleaser I am.
So I'm really trying to work on this assertiveness stuff. But I've realized (well I kind of knew this all along) that -like Ken says- avoid conflict like the plague lol. I hate conflict. It causes A LOT of anxiety for me. So now I know that I need to get better at dealing with it. Because I've always been the one to just not say anything because I want to keep the peace. But then I have all this built up resentment toward people who I really care about because of never saying anything about what was bothering me or what the conflict was.
SO I think I've come across a good practice opportunity at work. Our cook, who is a really nice guy, can sometimes get a little cranky lol. And when he is cranky, he has no problem taking it out on us. He'll just give us lots of attitude.
Last week, he was in one of his 'moods' and I didn't know until he came back to our room to bring some food back, and I handed him a dirty plate to take back up to the kitchen. (One of the kids got a slight bloody nose, and a teeny tiny bit trickled onto this plate.) I didn't know what to do with it -things were kind of hectic in the room- and I saw our cook, so I handed it to him thinking, aahhh I don't know what to do with this right now can you just take it somewhere please?
Normally I'm pretty sure he would have responded jokingly saying 'ew' or something, but since he was in one of his moods he got SO mad and was like 'SO WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT TO ME???????' Then proceeded to go back to the kitchen flipping out over this plate.
AAHHH so okay, I understand that maybe you weren't the best person to take this plate, but it was hectic, I didn't know what to do with it, and it was just kind of a spur of the moment thing.
So I've decided that it would be a good opportunity for me to be assertive and tell him that I didn't appreciate being spoken to/ about like that over a stupid plate.
I was thinking of approaching him the next time I see him and saying something like:
I understand that you were in a bad mood about something, and that you were probably busy when I handed you that plate, but I feel like it was a bit un-called for for you to have that much attitude about it. I didn't really appreciate being spoken to/ about like that over something so stupid.
I don't really know what else to say lol.
Does anybody have any suggestions????? Thanks! :p
So I'm really trying to work on this assertiveness stuff. But I've realized (well I kind of knew this all along) that -like Ken says- avoid conflict like the plague lol. I hate conflict. It causes A LOT of anxiety for me. So now I know that I need to get better at dealing with it. Because I've always been the one to just not say anything because I want to keep the peace. But then I have all this built up resentment toward people who I really care about because of never saying anything about what was bothering me or what the conflict was.
SO I think I've come across a good practice opportunity at work. Our cook, who is a really nice guy, can sometimes get a little cranky lol. And when he is cranky, he has no problem taking it out on us. He'll just give us lots of attitude.
Last week, he was in one of his 'moods' and I didn't know until he came back to our room to bring some food back, and I handed him a dirty plate to take back up to the kitchen. (One of the kids got a slight bloody nose, and a teeny tiny bit trickled onto this plate.) I didn't know what to do with it -things were kind of hectic in the room- and I saw our cook, so I handed it to him thinking, aahhh I don't know what to do with this right now can you just take it somewhere please?
Normally I'm pretty sure he would have responded jokingly saying 'ew' or something, but since he was in one of his moods he got SO mad and was like 'SO WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT TO ME???????' Then proceeded to go back to the kitchen flipping out over this plate.
AAHHH so okay, I understand that maybe you weren't the best person to take this plate, but it was hectic, I didn't know what to do with it, and it was just kind of a spur of the moment thing.
So I've decided that it would be a good opportunity for me to be assertive and tell him that I didn't appreciate being spoken to/ about like that over a stupid plate.
I was thinking of approaching him the next time I see him and saying something like:
I understand that you were in a bad mood about something, and that you were probably busy when I handed you that plate, but I feel like it was a bit un-called for for you to have that much attitude about it. I didn't really appreciate being spoken to/ about like that over something so stupid.
I don't really know what else to say lol.
Does anybody have any suggestions????? Thanks! :p