I have a situation.
I kissed a girl I work with and didn't know she was going to shatter my content by telling other people at work.
I've tried to give her a reprieve by asking her to talk about it, but she would rather not put in the effort. I'm so sad, ashamed, and guilty, and can feel all her friends laughing behind my back. She simply WON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT! She's pretty heartless.
I feel like I hate women even more now. How can they be so cruel? My life here has been shattered and now work sucks! I'm angry and depressed now just coming here.
How can you resolve an issue when your being laughed at behind your back, being slandered, and the other party won't stop. She won't even talk to me about it!
How do you handle this? It takes two to resolve an issue, right? How do you do it when one is willing to resolve and the other would rather act like a witch?
Girls, tell me. Why do women do this? She's in her early 20's.
How to communicate when people are destroying your reputation behind your back
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nobledancer
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri May 25, 2007 4:51 pm
What difference does it make whether you kissed her at work or on a date? Doesn't sound like a big deal to me.
Mental Filer: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
You are angry and depressed due to the thoughts you are thinking.
Are you in the program? Have you done the StressCenter.com program? You seem overly concerned about what others think about you. Your self esteem is dependent upon what others think of you. That appears to be accurate from what you have posted. Self esteem must come from within us, not ourside of us. The program can help you develop healthy self esteem so that such situations don't impact you as much.
How about challenging the negative thoughts with loving, compassionate thoughts? Oops, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have tried to kiss her at work. Too late now. All I can do is forgive myself and keep going. Nothing else I can do. Hey, maybe she'll call me. Maybe she likes me.
My first girlfriend was in a car with several other girls when I first kissed her. We had dated a couple of times and I was shy and didn't kiss her after the date. So, a few girlfriends and her got together and came to my house for that very purpose. I had to kiss her in the car with the others watching. I wasn't thinking about what the other girls were thinking, though. I admired her guts for going after what she wanted.
I think you're blowing this up all out of proportion. I don't think it's a very big deal at all. Guys and girls kiss about anywhere and guys try but sometimes get rejected. No big deal. There are a lot more fish in the sea.
You are taking one situation and turning it into all women, plural. This is blowing the situation out of proportion to what has actually taken place. It's untruthful and unrealistic. Not ALL WOMEN behave this way. Ever heard of the cognitive distortions of MAGNIFICATION, BLACK & WHITE or ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING, and MENTAL FILTER?I feel like I hate women even more now. How can they be so cruel? My life here has been shattered and now work sucks! I'm angry and depressed now just coming here.
Mental Filer: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
You are angry and depressed due to the thoughts you are thinking.
Are you in the program? Have you done the StressCenter.com program? You seem overly concerned about what others think about you. Your self esteem is dependent upon what others think of you. That appears to be accurate from what you have posted. Self esteem must come from within us, not ourside of us. The program can help you develop healthy self esteem so that such situations don't impact you as much.
How about challenging the negative thoughts with loving, compassionate thoughts? Oops, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have tried to kiss her at work. Too late now. All I can do is forgive myself and keep going. Nothing else I can do. Hey, maybe she'll call me. Maybe she likes me.
My first girlfriend was in a car with several other girls when I first kissed her. We had dated a couple of times and I was shy and didn't kiss her after the date. So, a few girlfriends and her got together and came to my house for that very purpose. I had to kiss her in the car with the others watching. I wasn't thinking about what the other girls were thinking, though. I admired her guts for going after what she wanted.
I think you're blowing this up all out of proportion. I don't think it's a very big deal at all. Guys and girls kiss about anywhere and guys try but sometimes get rejected. No big deal. There are a lot more fish in the sea.