Stress Center Peer Support

Just a thought: Wouldn't "stopping" an anger feeling, repress our emotions? and later come out in a negative way to the wrong person?
i mean if you really think about it it's like repressing an emotion if you hold back a feeling like "anger" :sly:
what do you guys think?
am i right or wrong?

good ? as i have repressed things and in the past took and took from people and was wondering too , as recently I thought .. what if.. i finally start not repressing them? will it come out in anger and i say things i wish i had not said.
as the enough is enough comes out..
as i am that would not be like me.

i don't think stopping your anger to evaluate and take action is the same as repressing your anger. people who repress their anger take no action to resolve the situation.. the put it away and stew on it!! by giving yourself a time out to really think about your anger, you can still be angry BUT the important point of this lesson is how you handle that anger! sometimes you just gotta say this is no big deal and let it go... other times you need to rationally think of ways to productively express that anger and actually take action to find a peaceful resolution to the problem! give it a real try and you will actually be able to physically/emotionally see the point in the lesson!

tbabystroup wrote:i don't think stopping your anger to evaluate and take action is the same as repressing your anger. people who repress their anger take no action to resolve the situation.. the put it away and stew on it!! by giving yourself a time out to really think about your anger, you can still be angry BUT the important point of this lesson is how you handle that anger! sometimes you just gotta say this is no big deal and let it go... other times you need to rationally think of ways to productively express that anger and actually take action to find a peaceful resolution to the problem! give it a real try and you will actually be able to physically/emotionally see the point in the lesson!

I see, and I will def give it a try!
THANKS!

I don't know that I can stop an angry thought all that fast, but I can stop an angry action. I find that by not acting on my anger right away I can analize why I'm really angry. A lot of the time it's not really the person, it's something else bothering me. Then I'm greatful I didn't yell or say something rude to the person I thought I was mad at. I know I'm really mad at someone when after an hour or longer I'm still feeling angry. Then I come up with a plan to be assertive (learned on session 7) and let them know how I feel. I'm not perfect at this. I'm trying real hard to overcome my anger, but I know this works for me when I am able to do it.

I like what you posted, Mramirez!

Hi Everyone: I had a difficult confrontation from a neighbour this week who expressed her anger towards me that she has had for over 25 years. She wasn't assertive, she gave a lot of you messages and she didn't take any ownership for her part in the situation. I was calm and compassionate at the time, asking her forgiveness, saying that I had and have still a lot to learn and that we both came into the relationship as wounded people. Since that time I have been obsessing about this whole situation which I really want to let go and move one. I can't control what she thinks and feels about me now and in the past. I don't see us having a relationship in the future, especially now that I don't feel safe around her. I forgive her realizing she is angry about a lot of things and is not involved in therapy or working a program right now. I am thankful to have this program that is giving me the how to change. I've got tons of books and head knowledge but applying and putting it into practice is my biggest challenge. Blessings from bunny

tbabystroup wrote:i don't think stopping your anger to evaluate and take action is the same as repressing your anger. people who repress their anger take no action to resolve the situation.. the put it away and stew on it!! by giving yourself a time out to really think about your anger, you can still be angry BUT the important point of this lesson is how you handle that anger! sometimes you just gotta say this is no big deal and let it go... other times you need to rationally think of ways to productively express that anger and actually take action to find a peaceful resolution to the problem! give it a real try and you will actually be able to physically/emotionally see the point in the lesson!

I LOVE this! I need to be rational, or let things go quite often. Practicing patience / letting go is great discipline for me as well.

I know this is an old topic but i dont think its repressing anger, its more like choosing not to be angry.Also not letting others anger you. It takes alot less energy to be calm.

Just a thought: Wouldn't "stopping" an anger feeling, repress our emotions? and later come out in a negative way to the wrong person?

That is on the sessions. Where people have a bad day at work and get angry at family members when they come home.

However, there are ways to fix that and it's discussed.

But this is why we're going through this, so we don't do that. Or repress what needs to be said, if it needs to be said at all.

randy c., you are correct, it's about choosing not to be angry. And sometimes being angry at someone isn't worth it for us. Holding onto anger for 25 years is not a good thing. Or even letting it out 25 years later and not resolving anything. On the session Lucinda talks about trying to have closure on an ex husband. She said the forgiveness part was more for her then him. She didn't get angry at him, but just wanted to forgive him, for herself.


Maybe it's, choosing not to be angry, but choose to be happy.