BUILDING A BETTER LIFE (BBL)... Session 6

[mcshope]

BUILDING A BETTER LIFE

This thread is open to anyone who is going thru the program. We are now on session 6 and we will start a new lesson every week. We are following Lucinda's Program the way is meant to be, listening to the sessions, reading the lessons, completing the assignments. This is just an space to share your experiences and progress.

Session 6.... Can you believe it?????... It has been a great experience to go thru the program with the company and support of other people. It is nice to know that there are people willing to listen and share their experiences.

We would like to support each other, share our progress and continue growing and learning. If you have anything to share, join us, we learn a lot from other people's experiences.

[mcshope]

The video for this week....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXJ0vmvK ... 4DF1B3E12C

And another one....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uYX6ZRQkrM

Hope

[THH]

Hi everyone.
For me, session 6, anger, was not something that was a real problem for me, or I should say a major contributor to my anxiety. I had scored 36 the first time I went through this program, and 25 this trip through. I guess that I keep things internal due to all the years I had lived in a house hold that lots of anger was expressed outwardly. I felt embarrassed by others actions of anger. I learned in this program if I am more assertive in many areas then I will feel less angry. This is good when it comes to family matters, or dealing with other people. Having good communication skills also helps. I again beat myself up when I fail to express my feelings or concerns. Learning to communicate my thoughts & feelings is hard for me. I have found if I take my time and not feel the need to give a answer right away I do better. I like Lucinda asking us to wait 24 hours. I find much of the time this is the right approach especially sensitive issues. It is learning not to react from the first thought that comes into my mind.
Just some of my thoughts ....

[livelife]

HOW IS IT GOING EVERYONE?
My experiences with this week's session are great, although I find it hard to not get mad at the simplest things..
For example, I do not want to get mad when some one purposely tries to make me feel guilty or mad or sad etc.
I hate myself for getting angry at the smallest of things! Its obvious that it is absolutely SILLY to get mad at things like you forgot something at home and automatically get mad at yourself. That is how I am. I want to change but it seems so hard and I dont seem to know how to change. Even with these skills about counting to ten and thinking about it until 24 hours has past. Also, I tend to get mad at someone who is teasing me about a silly joke or what not. I get angry if I am late for an appointment or even if someone makes me late for an appointment. I get really mad. I hate it when someone doesn't say Thank You when I do something nice for them, It irritates me so in result I get angry! The list goes on and on..
My goal this week is to control my anger.
Just a thought: Wouldn't "stopping" an anger feeling, repress our emotions? and later come out! :sly:

[livelife]

Hi everyone.
For me, session 6, anger, was not something that was a real problem for me, or I should say a major contributor to my anxiety. I had scored 36 the first time I went through this program, and 25 this trip through. I guess that I keep things internal due to all the years I had lived in a house hold that lots of anger was expressed outwardly. I felt embarrassed by others actions of anger. I learned in this program if I am more assertive in many areas then I will feel less angry. This is good when it comes to family matters, or dealing with other people. Having good communication skills also helps. I again beat myself up when I fail to express my feelings or concerns. Learning to communicate my thoughts & feelings is hard for me. I have found if I take my time and not feel the need to give a answer right away I do better. I like Lucinda asking us to wait 24 hours. I find much of the time this is the right approach especially sensitive issues. It is learning not to react from the first thought that comes into my mind.
Just some of my thoughts ....

Hi THH,
I strongly agree about waiting 24 hours WHEN it is something really sensitive like in a relationship and such.
And thats good you've never really struggled with anger.
I grew up with a police officer as a mother. and I know it was really hard on her because she was playing a mother and a father at the time and "anger" was the only way out when she felt fear i'm guessing because every single morning was anger and arguing! and this and that! and ugh i get mad and aggitated just thinking about it.
Although its kinda depressing to go to school when you just had an arguement with your mom.
Anyways, I hope everyone can get something out of this weeks session, I'm working really hard to get the best of it!
God Bless! <3

[livelife]

The video for this week....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXJ0vmvK ... 4DF1B3E12C

And another one....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uYX6ZRQkrM

Hope

thank you mcshope!
I love the second video as well. very motivating!
I love it.

[livelife]

Videos i would love to share! <3
please watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEM0SF04 ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD8pVrAim7o

[Paisleegreen]

I had a mother that got angry a lot too. She would blame us if we were late for something, when it really was her fault and my father was more patient and understanding. I learned to be more like my father, although that was my temperament anyway. I also had two older sisters, one was calm and sweet and the other very explosive and dramatic. I saw which one was successful in life while the other wasn't. But then we are all born with our own personalities and talents and birth order that affect our lives.

I am more one to keep things in and suffer because of it. But even if we don't express our anger it is still there and we might show it passively and so it still affects relationships. So this is a good Session to work on.

[THH]

Hi everyone! One thing I find that I do sense doing the program, is to recognize what I'm feeling. If I feel all tensed up I take it apart and see what is bothering me. If my husband made a comment I didn't like, I'll say you know the way you said that, or I feel mad when you said....Which I guess means being more assertive. I find I do not sit and dwell on things as much. My sister always is the drama girl, and When she says things like " You have no idea" or makes reference to how much harder her life is that would anger me. I do a bit different now I will say what makes you think I have no idea? That just makes her think and she really didn't mean I have no idea, but she has softened up and has done much better in choosing her words. Its kind of neat as she didn't know it was making me mad, and I took it very personal! It is a bit hard getting used to.
Waiting in lines, driving behind a ssssllllooow one, rude people, I do much better. I almost expect it anymore as it seams like more often than not it is the case.
I am working on it all as well. Some days are just better than others! It is still work! It is a great lesson to work on!!!!

Livelife,
I liked the videos! I want to see the movie. It looks like something I wold enjoy. Thanks for sharing.

Pasilee, I too am like you holding things in. When I do let it out it really does feel very freeing. I caught myself getting angry earlier as we have had 40 days of rain. My yard and flower beds look terrible. I have 2 dogs that I am always having to wipe paws off to come into the house. I expect my place inside and out to look great all the time! This has been very hard but I have come to the conclusion some things have to be let go. Do what I can when I can rather than drive myself into panic & depression. Its different for me. And one day in the near future it will probably get all tidied up! Hope your doing well!

[Karen L]

Hi everyone......been a difficult week here with increased anxiety and then of course increased depression.....have a lot going on so Im sure its just a mix of alot of things.....Im beginning to feel the pressure of needing to be able to get to the hospital to see the birth of my granddaughter on June 19th.....I am trying to stay present though...
anyways, just a rough week.....I still have so many issues with anger, especially toward my ex.....I just cant seem to move on from it.....my counselor says that it does take a while to mend a broken heart, but she does believe that it has alot to do with my self-esteem, as I still sometimes feel I dont deserve better....and also that my anger is something to hold on to to keep my in my present condition....I do understand this and am working on it.....
and the rain here is just sooooooo depressing....today was the first day of sun since last week, and I spent most of the day outside so I feel a bit better.....also had a good evening of badminton with my 2 teen daughters always a good time lol

THH you are doing excellent!! I remember when what your husband or sister said upset you.....and now you are responding assertively!!! Im so glad you are doing well and are feeling so much better give yourself a pat on the back and a hug from me

off to bed soon.....tomorrow is a new day