Traffic Stops

You can get EXACTLY what you want out of most any situation if you only think before you react. After building these skills, your anger will work FOR you instead of against you.
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FMB100
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:28 pm

Traffic Stops

Post by FMB100 » Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:11 am

The tape talks about dissolve or resolve and I have a very hard time with it. I will give you all the info and my thoughts and see if you have suggestions.

Over 14 years ago I was subject to traffic stops both as a passenger and a driver. I am confident I was not doing anything wrong yet I was questioned in a way where I felt harassment, intimidation, and like they were trying to get something out of me that didn't exist. No ticket was given in any case but I don't feel like I should have to go through that.

I am confident these officers were not even thinking about this one second after the stop ended. Yet I persist with anger thoughts such as to why would they be so rude to someone who is not threatening them, they can get away with anything, I still want to sue them, or they don't belong in the public arena. I have read that having your hands on the wheel when an officer approaches you is good and in more recent stops, I have done that and they haven't been aggressive. Perhaps that is a way to somewhat control how an officer will behave and I haven't had a problem with a stop for some time yet my anger persists. I recognize the anger can mean fear of police and any time I drive through my neighborhood, I'm always wondering if I'll be stopped even if I did nothing wrong.

The tape talks about using assertive I messages but this is one case where it seems like even if you think you are mistreated, it would be very hard to be politely assertive.

Please give me your thoughts here. Thank you.

Krystie75
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 8:42 pm

Re: Traffic Stops

Post by Krystie75 » Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:57 pm

Police officers always have to be on the alert. They know nothing about you. For all they know you could pull a gun on them at any moment. They deal with so many problems during the day that they probably forget to be polite to people who have done nothing wrong. Cut them a little slack and know that they are out their protecting you as well as everyone else. They deal with alot of crap all day long. Just think about how they feel and it might help ease your anger. Give them the benifit of the dout and it will be easier not to feel so grumpy towards them. I sometimes feel frustrated about the way they treat me too, but we can't control other people. We can only control our self. Sometimes it is hard to accept that truth. Being angry at them really doesn't help you any and it certainly doesn't do anything to them. It may not be to easy but know that you are being a bigger person if you can be polite and know that they are only doing their job. Forgive them so you don't do emotional damage to yourself

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