I know that negative emotions are just messages that something is wrong and needs to change either with my perception, my communication or my behavior. I work with that message instead of feeling sorry for myself and I do what I can to change it.
Sunday;
Thought replacement
1)If I reject someone or show that I'm not interested then they will feel crushed, get very upset and become hopeless, I can't do that to someone.
[Forunte telling, personalization]
->This is how I would have responded in my past when I didn't really have anybody but even those times I got over it. Not everybody is how I used to be and I cannot control how another person thinks or feels. I can be considerate about it and do whatever I can to prevent it but ultimatly its up to that other person.
2)I can't make a night time routine, it just won't work.
[Fortune telling]
->It might be very difficult to do this but very possible. I just need to keep trying and making effort and accept myself through the whole process.
3)I need to be honest but I can't because it'll hurt other people.
[Fortune telling, Mental filter]
->It can actually be more harmful to lie and keep going on letting another person believe in some desire that isn't going to happen. That just drags the pain on for a long time.
4)I am just wasting my days, I'm not getting better.
[All or nothing, mental filter, emotional reasoning]
->I may not feel dramatically better but I make small progress on a daily basis. I've even noticed things that really bothered me in the past really don't matter at all now. I don't have to feel diffrent right now to prove I'm making progress. My proof is in my accomplishments.
5)I need to be online before bed time or else I will not be able to sleep.
[Should, Fortune telling]
->It isn't life support, whatever I need will be there the next day. These are just old behavior patterns that are more harmful then helpful and I'm going to create a more helpful night time routine to take its place. It may take time and I may slip back many times but I can accept that and it'll eventually change.
Mike
The Challenge...Lesson 6
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
mcshope;
Nice words about how to handle anger and I agree.
I also get paralyzed and then my mind starts racing and I ask myself if I actually did something wrong as well as trying to figure out how to react to it and its really hard. For me I make a huge deal about my response as if it was the key to saving the world from destruction but I guess it really isn't that important. We can't be perfect and we only learn from situations like that. One thing that kept going through my head is that I was letting someone yell at me but really we don't let anybody say or do anything because we don't have that control over them and it helps me to keep that in mind. The other way just makes me feel bad about myself. I also had the thing where I felt that I could help them change and I still do to a point but i'm more open to how I can help them do it. Sometimes exiting their lives and not giving them the attention they seek for their behavior is the best gift we can give them. Its like not giving them that secondary gain they seek.
Yeah same friend who yelled at me and had the bday party and that I helped clean for a diffrent party he was hosting for his other friend. I do deserve to be treated with respect but I'm not always going to get it deserved or not. My friend has alot of issues that relate to anxiety and depression so I can understand why he yells at me but I don't just let it happen without me saying anything. It doesn't happen that often its just every once in awhile but if it was a constant thing then yeah I would probabbly end it or spend alot less time with that person.
Make a list of traits I want in a friend eh? Thats kind of like what Tony Robbins suggested when finding a mate. It's definately an idea to go and do but when you meet people that don't have the "musts" on the list and they want to be my friends, how do I handle that?
Wow you met your husband on the internet? That is so inspirational.
thank you, I do feel proud about it
Ha I'm gone one day and people start to question...kinda funny I'm still here.
Mike
Nice words about how to handle anger and I agree.
I also get paralyzed and then my mind starts racing and I ask myself if I actually did something wrong as well as trying to figure out how to react to it and its really hard. For me I make a huge deal about my response as if it was the key to saving the world from destruction but I guess it really isn't that important. We can't be perfect and we only learn from situations like that. One thing that kept going through my head is that I was letting someone yell at me but really we don't let anybody say or do anything because we don't have that control over them and it helps me to keep that in mind. The other way just makes me feel bad about myself. I also had the thing where I felt that I could help them change and I still do to a point but i'm more open to how I can help them do it. Sometimes exiting their lives and not giving them the attention they seek for their behavior is the best gift we can give them. Its like not giving them that secondary gain they seek.
Yeah same friend who yelled at me and had the bday party and that I helped clean for a diffrent party he was hosting for his other friend. I do deserve to be treated with respect but I'm not always going to get it deserved or not. My friend has alot of issues that relate to anxiety and depression so I can understand why he yells at me but I don't just let it happen without me saying anything. It doesn't happen that often its just every once in awhile but if it was a constant thing then yeah I would probabbly end it or spend alot less time with that person.
Make a list of traits I want in a friend eh? Thats kind of like what Tony Robbins suggested when finding a mate. It's definately an idea to go and do but when you meet people that don't have the "musts" on the list and they want to be my friends, how do I handle that?
Wow you met your husband on the internet? That is so inspirational.
thank you, I do feel proud about it
Ha I'm gone one day and people start to question...kinda funny
I'm still here.Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Karen L;
I try to be funny at times and thank you, you deserve a great person yourself. Under all your anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts and anger there is a really understanding, loving and very caring person.
It is very easy to fall into that trap of just pushing a little beyond the comfort zone and then just staying there which is actually what I do with my sleeping, it can be tough. That is also pretty cool how you told yourself if your going to freak out and die you just go right ahead. This is similar to THH's idea that if she is just going to faint then she will faint and when she gets up she will still have to go do that thing she was planning to do. It seemed to work for you. You notice how you felt more empowered afterwards and more accomplished and how you wanted to make that feeling even stronger by going to other places even after you accomplished your goal?
Yay another grandchild congrats!
MIke
I try to be funny at times and thank you, you deserve a great person yourself. Under all your anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts and anger there is a really understanding, loving and very caring person.
It is very easy to fall into that trap of just pushing a little beyond the comfort zone and then just staying there which is actually what I do with my sleeping, it can be tough. That is also pretty cool how you told yourself if your going to freak out and die you just go right ahead. This is similar to THH's idea that if she is just going to faint then she will faint and when she gets up she will still have to go do that thing she was planning to do. It seemed to work for you. You notice how you felt more empowered afterwards and more accomplished and how you wanted to make that feeling even stronger by going to other places even after you accomplished your goal?
Yay another grandchild congrats!
MIke
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
THH;
Wow you've posted alot between my sataurday daily post and the sunday one which i did today (monday).
Fun weekend. Wasn't there a song called leader of the pack or something like that?
Sounds kinda funny and I can actually picture people trying to talk to a big pile of rock but ya that is some good advice. "If its going to stop me then it'll stop me but I'm going to try anyways because it can't stop me forever"
Well i'm more worried about hurting the other person through rejection. I don't want to cause the person to feel horrible about themselves or into a hopeless feeling of depression but I'm trying to ingrain in my head that its just personalization and I don't have control over that but its really hard to overcome that sense of guilt. I do appreciate the sage advise and now i'm craving some stuffing for some reason!
Mike
Wow you've posted alot between my sataurday daily post and the sunday one which i did today (monday).
Fun weekend. Wasn't there a song called leader of the pack or something like that?
Sounds kinda funny and I can actually picture people trying to talk to a big pile of rock but ya that is some good advice. "If its going to stop me then it'll stop me but I'm going to try anyways because it can't stop me forever"
Well i'm more worried about hurting the other person through rejection. I don't want to cause the person to feel horrible about themselves or into a hopeless feeling of depression but I'm trying to ingrain in my head that its just personalization and I don't have control over that but its really hard to overcome that sense of guilt. I do appreciate the sage advise and now i'm craving some stuffing for some reason!
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Lindalee;
You were so used to that routine with your husband but you are definately changing and for the better which is great, you need to look out for yourself too. Is your husband not ok with how you are hanging around your girlfriends more?
Well for myself anxiety already is a major part of my life as i'm struggling with the generalized anxiety. There are people who have met me and I told them about it and they did just try to fix me and some who tell me if I need someone to talk to that they would be there for me but most of the people I tell it to can just relate to how I'm feeling and they feel more secure around me and I feel more secure around them and we don't spend all our time talking about our problems. In some situations if I'm feeling overwhelmed or really panicky and I feel like I need to run then I just tell someone else how i'm feeling and then I feel better because i'm not keeping it in and they understand how I feel and don't criticize me for it. I'm being accepted even though I have the anxiety and that is really important.
ah you don't usually have generalized anxiety eh? Thats my biggest problem but I have situational anxiety. Numb and sleepy headed is what I feel on a daily basis. Good you can recognize the overanalyzation.
Mike
You were so used to that routine with your husband but you are definately changing and for the better which is great, you need to look out for yourself too. Is your husband not ok with how you are hanging around your girlfriends more?
Well for myself anxiety already is a major part of my life as i'm struggling with the generalized anxiety. There are people who have met me and I told them about it and they did just try to fix me and some who tell me if I need someone to talk to that they would be there for me but most of the people I tell it to can just relate to how I'm feeling and they feel more secure around me and I feel more secure around them and we don't spend all our time talking about our problems. In some situations if I'm feeling overwhelmed or really panicky and I feel like I need to run then I just tell someone else how i'm feeling and then I feel better because i'm not keeping it in and they understand how I feel and don't criticize me for it. I'm being accepted even though I have the anxiety and that is really important.
ah you don't usually have generalized anxiety eh? Thats my biggest problem but I have situational anxiety. Numb and sleepy headed is what I feel on a daily basis. Good you can recognize the overanalyzation.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
Hello everyone! Its Tuesday and I have learned alot the past couple of days!
First I had my water tech. out and my water softener is working properly. We switched from Potassium to Sodium. Our levels of sodium were at a 2, and can be up to 250! So sodium maybe a better choice. We have to recheck in a couple weeks. We have a couple options as what we can do to improve our water. One is a filter system, and the other is a reverse osmosis unit. The company is working up the facts and figures and will call us in a few days. So Hope, if you have advise on what you like or don't like I'd love to hear about it. We have time to do more research on it. Who better to listen to than someone who is happy with their water!
We have to wait on the donkeys blood sample to see if he indeed is having a deficiency problem. We can put our barn water line on our house unit and change the raw water to soft water very easy.
Next I went to my Dr. I do love him!
He reassured me the past years blood showed I had good levels in both potassium and kidney function. He told me about the body getting rid of these things naturally. He felt that our water was not that bad, and talked over my head for a few minutes but it sounded good!
He said if we sampled all the drinks we drank, or water from stores we could likely find things worse than what is in our water! So that was good too. He did draw more blood, and will call us Friday or Monday. Felt no worries. YEY.
If you IV potassium that is a different story. Drinking it will just go in the pot! So any one with health anxiety, it maybe good to know!
I think I did better this challenge. I think for me, I needed to learn that I am my safe person.I can think logically! I had run to several different people who could not help me. I kept looking for reassurance, that I was alright and if I would logically think, I knew I was alright. But I hung on to one word, like oh no, thats alot! Or wonder what it does to you??? It would spin my thoughts in the wrong direction. If I would have been thinking logically I would say that it would be a huge law suit if people with well water got sick or died from drinking treated water. In my area I never heard of such things. Why did I think I would be the first?
SO it was a learning experience. Thought I would share.
First I had my water tech. out and my water softener is working properly. We switched from Potassium to Sodium. Our levels of sodium were at a 2, and can be up to 250! So sodium maybe a better choice. We have to recheck in a couple weeks. We have a couple options as what we can do to improve our water. One is a filter system, and the other is a reverse osmosis unit. The company is working up the facts and figures and will call us in a few days. So Hope, if you have advise on what you like or don't like I'd love to hear about it. We have time to do more research on it. Who better to listen to than someone who is happy with their water!
We have to wait on the donkeys blood sample to see if he indeed is having a deficiency problem. We can put our barn water line on our house unit and change the raw water to soft water very easy.
Next I went to my Dr. I do love him!
He reassured me the past years blood showed I had good levels in both potassium and kidney function. He told me about the body getting rid of these things naturally. He felt that our water was not that bad, and talked over my head for a few minutes but it sounded good!
He said if we sampled all the drinks we drank, or water from stores we could likely find things worse than what is in our water! So that was good too. He did draw more blood, and will call us Friday or Monday. Felt no worries. YEY.
If you IV potassium that is a different story. Drinking it will just go in the pot! So any one with health anxiety, it maybe good to know!
I think I did better this challenge. I think for me, I needed to learn that I am my safe person.I can think logically! I had run to several different people who could not help me. I kept looking for reassurance, that I was alright and if I would logically think, I knew I was alright. But I hung on to one word, like oh no, thats alot! Or wonder what it does to you??? It would spin my thoughts in the wrong direction. If I would have been thinking logically I would say that it would be a huge law suit if people with well water got sick or died from drinking treated water. In my area I never heard of such things. Why did I think I would be the first?
SO it was a learning experience. Thought I would share.
Lindalee,
Ahhh you have a mini donkey! They are very cute. This is my first donkey. He will be a standard when full grown. I hope to train him to a cart one day. Our donkey is very good at chasing stray animals our if the pasture too. Great watch dog!
Also so good on realizing you were over analyzing! We do have good days and bad days but that doesn't mean something is wrong with us. Good job!
Practice...
Ahhh you have a mini donkey! They are very cute. This is my first donkey. He will be a standard when full grown. I hope to train him to a cart one day. Our donkey is very good at chasing stray animals our if the pasture too. Great watch dog!
Also so good on realizing you were over analyzing! We do have good days and bad days but that doesn't mean something is wrong with us. Good job!
Practice...
Hope,
Yes on any filter information you could share would be really helpful. I've learned a crash coarse, and soon I will have to decide.
I have 2 older horses and the baby donkey. I have always been a country girl, growing up on a dairy farm. I always have loved the critters! LOL...
I live about 7 miles from a stop light! LOL...
That is so cool you moved to a small town and like it. I moved to a city in my 20's as I thought I was missing so much. I liked it, and all the fun things there was to see.
I did miss the quiet life. And being part of a community. I like that.
I hope you continue to enjoy where you live. Do you have a big yard now? Do you enjoy being out side?
Yes on any filter information you could share would be really helpful. I've learned a crash coarse, and soon I will have to decide.
I have 2 older horses and the baby donkey. I have always been a country girl, growing up on a dairy farm. I always have loved the critters! LOL...
I live about 7 miles from a stop light! LOL...
That is so cool you moved to a small town and like it. I moved to a city in my 20's as I thought I was missing so much. I liked it, and all the fun things there was to see.
I did miss the quiet life. And being part of a community. I like that.
I hope you continue to enjoy where you live. Do you have a big yard now? Do you enjoy being out side?