Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:17 pm
Today, I went to the downtown library. I live in a place where the downtown area is typically associated with poverty and low income, though there are many county buildings/offices in this area, as well, so county employees make up some of the diversity.
Anyway, while I was in the library today, I felt as though I was being looked at and ridiculed behind my back. I thought that I was reasonably well-dressed, so the thought crossed my mind that I might be "too" well-dressed, if this is possible. I have experienced this about three times so far this month, so it's becoming a little frustrating and angering. During my last visit, I heard someone say something to the effect that I'm not sure why she's here (etc., etc.)
, as if I shouldn't be here since I'm "too good" to be there or something. Hmmm... It was very strange, and I became a bit angry since this is a public library and it's everyone's right to be there if they choose to be. It's the principle of the thing in my mind that makes me the angriest. This is funny because I have been to this library many, many times before, and I have never felt this level of anger and frustration...
I wrote about this in my journal tonight so that I could get it out of my head and onto paper. Moments ago, I had this sudden flash: what I need to do is to work on making the boundaries between my emotional life and others' emotional life clearer.
Has anyone experienced this? What are some strategies that I can use to reduce it?
On a positive note, I resisted my desire to flip two teenage girls off when they honked at me because I wasn't pulling out fast enough from the gas pump to suite them. In fact, I couldn't pull out safely since there was an older woman who was trying to pull into the gas pump nearest me. My thought was: "If I'm not moving fast enough for them, they can find another gas pump. I'm not going to risk damage to my car, the woman's car or our lives in order to suite them." It was very freeing, and I just sat there quietly and continued to wait even after these two girls honked. I saw them start to pull away, then move back in position behind me, but I couldn't care any less and it felt SOOOOO good
. I have actually become more quiet and truly calm within myself, and I am not letting others push my buttons as much anymore. I'm on Session 8, BTW.
Anyway, while I was in the library today, I felt as though I was being looked at and ridiculed behind my back. I thought that I was reasonably well-dressed, so the thought crossed my mind that I might be "too" well-dressed, if this is possible. I have experienced this about three times so far this month, so it's becoming a little frustrating and angering. During my last visit, I heard someone say something to the effect that I'm not sure why she's here (etc., etc.)
![Mad :mad:](./images/smilies/icon_mad.gif)
I wrote about this in my journal tonight so that I could get it out of my head and onto paper. Moments ago, I had this sudden flash: what I need to do is to work on making the boundaries between my emotional life and others' emotional life clearer.
Has anyone experienced this? What are some strategies that I can use to reduce it?
On a positive note, I resisted my desire to flip two teenage girls off when they honked at me because I wasn't pulling out fast enough from the gas pump to suite them. In fact, I couldn't pull out safely since there was an older woman who was trying to pull into the gas pump nearest me. My thought was: "If I'm not moving fast enough for them, they can find another gas pump. I'm not going to risk damage to my car, the woman's car or our lives in order to suite them." It was very freeing, and I just sat there quietly and continued to wait even after these two girls honked. I saw them start to pull away, then move back in position behind me, but I couldn't care any less and it felt SOOOOO good
![Cool :cool:](./images/smilies/icon_cool.gif)
![Cool :cool:](./images/smilies/icon_cool.gif)