Trouble with Anger

TJT1979 · Post by **TJT1979** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:51 am

I am redoing session six for the second time. The way it's going I may have another week of it. I was shocked when I took the anger assessment test. I knew I had mood swings (I am a woman) but I didn't realize just how angry I really was. I scored 76. I almost cried. Then when I tried the homework like not yelling I couldn't beleive how hard it was/is. I blow up over the least little things and I yell all the time. When I am at work I am calm.cool and upbeat and when I come home it's like jeckyl and hyde. I am having such a hard time with this session. It is hard to deal with your emotions when you figure out things about yourself you don't like. I have let this disorder control every aspect of my life and my families life. I know that is where most of my anger comes from. I am MAD at myself for letting this happen to me. I am Mad at myself for not having self control. But the worst thing is being so Mad that I don't want to help myself get better. I wanted to give up because I don't know how to face my anger. I still can't write about my past angers because thinking of the past triggers my anxiety just like everything else in my life. I am gonna keep trying to get through this session but I feel this is the hardest thing I have tried to do in a long time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:56 pm

Hello TJT1979,
I'm on Session 6 also. I scored 81. It's a coincidence that you said jeckyl and hyde because I used to tell my wife that all the time about me. This session is a hard one for me also. Just stick with it. Do your best to try really hard to think before you respond to your family or anyone. Don't be so hard on yourself. DON'T GIVE UP! You said that this disorder controls every aspect of your life and your family's. Don't let it take anymore from you. Stick with the program. It doesn't matter if it takes you 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, etc. on a session. What is important is learning and applying the skills. You can stop being angry and as far as your past angers, that's the past, it's over, deal with present moment anger.

All my best,
Inside Man

CMKoskela · Post by **CMKoskela** » Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:52 pm

I am actually about to start session , but I just wanted to say that I will do the same thing TJT. I can amaze myself at how I can yell at home. And it just throws me into a spin where I just don't care about anything.
hang in there, i know this program is working in other areas

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 5:28 am

Once I started to focus more on being assertive when I needed to be a lot of the anger started to subside. I think sometimes when we don't assert ourselves well all this builds up until we have an "anger" outburst. Sessions on Expectations and Assertiveness have really helped me on dealing with anger.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:35 pm

Thank you Inside Man, Debster and Mary for your encouragement. I made it through the session,maybe not perfectly, but I made it. I am doing better in certain areas thanks to this program. I am looking forward the next session.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 21, 2008 4:24 am

Keep up the great positive attitude, TJT!

It is really hard to face our problems head on - but that is the only way we can truly handle them...and conquer them! It takes a brave person to be willing to address the issues (especially anger!) that hae become toxic in our lives and then to honestly assess them and take steps to improve! Good for you...and everyone else going through this!

You deserve a better life and you are on your way to getting it!

Blessings,
Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 01, 2008 1:51 pm

Okay, so I am actually still on session 6. I didn't feel like I could move on until I had overcome an anger episode. I started to get angry the other night at my husband. In the past I am sure it would have severely escalated. but I stopped myself and it ended, and I wasn't upset 5 minutes later. I am finding that other things that would have started to upset me in the past are not doing that.
I did listen to session 6 5 times!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 02, 2008 2:16 pm

Good for you debster. I'm still having a little trouble with anger but it is getting better. I told my kids I was gonna try to control my anger and not yell so much. I tend to yell when
I have to repeat myself or if I need to be louder than they are. My seven year old is really helping me with this issue. Everytime she gets in trouble and I start raising my voice she says"Mom watch your anger. I thought we were gonna stop yelling." LOL Which of course makes me stop . I take a deep breath and calmly finish what I'm saying and when I'm done and she walks away I can't help but smile.Thank God for kids and the people in your life who love you and want to help you get through this.