Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone.
I am new to this forum and amd really learning a lot by reading everyone's post.
Thank you!
I am a very angry person and I think I am just mad at God....I was in a relationship for 2 years with a guy from Colombia and it ended...I worked really hard in that relationship to do everything right in the sight of God and him. I had never conducted a relationship like that before...I had always conducted the relationship how I wanted to and not how God wanted it. After it ended....I was angry and mad at God. I started dating someone else who doesn't believe the same way I believe and just started doing what I wanted to, when ever I wanted to because I had tried it the right way how I thought God wanted it before and it didn't work either. I started dating a person I worked with and began to fall in love with him...we have recently broke up and I am very depressed. I am tired of things never working out. I just want a family...a home...children. Why doesn't God care about it? Everytime I break up with someone I go through terrible bouts of depression, weight loss, unable to function at work, suicidal thoughts,anxiety to talk to them, inability to sleep and racing thoughts of what if. I haven't talked to this person in a few days and am trying to be strong and not call them, even though they have tried to call me/text message me. I think it is better to have a clean cut break up with no communication otherwise I wonder would we get back together or not and I wait for the phone to ring. How do I just move on with my life? My heart is hurting. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I agree with you that it is best to have a clean break up. Then it prevents emotions from a rollercoaster. It took me a long time to realize that everything happens for a reason (to me anyway) and those things can be good or bad. I know you must be thinking that you have had your share of bad relationships and you deserve your prince. Its hard. Kind of like a part of you died. Please let me know if you ever need to talk, I know exactly how you feel

Thank you so much for your encouragement. How sweet you are. All I feel like doing now is just crying...but maybe I will want to talk one day. I don't want to be sad anymore. I wish the pain would go away. I just want to know what I did wrong to cause me not to find the right person...Will it ever happen? A part of me did die...I wish I wouldn't love anymore.