session 5: retry
Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 9:03 am
this is how far i got in the program on my last attempt. i felt things were going better and just lazily and unknowingly i stopped doing the work and the program all together. slowly but surely i started to think negativley again and sometimes even feed into it. although i didnt get myself as worked up as i used to i notcied all these familiar unwanted feelings comming back so i started the program from scratch all over again. i have been feeling better and im at session 5 now. here we go again, session 5 seems like a managable step because i enojoy physical activity and movement. it also does really improve your mood and rid u of those tohughts that people tend to think that bring themselves down. i have to say though the program is a little bit harder to get through now becuase i just recently am comming out of an 8 year relationship with someone who i also have a child with. this is kind of tough because i still think of this person alot but i know doing this program can help better me and focus on the things i need to do for myself, its just difficult sometimes. anyway im sure this is for the best as we were very volitiale. i kind of just dont want to be thinking about her and if she is having "a better life than me." i know that doesnt matter and what she does now has no effect on my life its just hard not to think that way sometimes. well sorry for ranting but hopefully i find comfort in this program and the completion of the program and when its all said and done hopefully i will be less hard on myself and more loving of myself than ever before and feeling like i need certain people to effect my moods and thoughts or that thinking someone else may be having a better life than me will be a thing of the past.