Stress Center Peer Support

I know many of you are at least above 22 or so and many of you have spouses and so I can see how it might be hard to relate to an 18 year old but I really need some help.
Brief history- I've been to the hospital for depression/anxiety 3 times. I've been (and still am going dealing with) different forms of abuse & manipulation, most of them mental/emotional. I recently had a fight with my mother who, although she is a good woman, has had her share of a rough past and is very controlling. She and I had a very big fight, my very first actual fight, about 5 days ago. Since then I have been put back in my "place" so to speak as far as who controls who's life. My mother unfortunately has done a very good job of controlling mine until a few years ago.

I am not a bad person nor do I "rebel" very often. And I hate to put all this stuff on this site but I am really quite traumatized from this fight and can't seem to shake it. I've since then become deeply depressed because of it and other things and am having a terrible time getting over things or at least moving on some. I realize it won't be a snappy process but I really only feel that I am getting worse in some ways even though I keep fighting to believe there is still hope. I know there is hope for me. I am just so very stuck and sad and lost. I don't even know why I'm writing this exactly.
I just want some kind of help and I don't even know how. I'm continuing to look for a new job and still going to college on a regular basis.

I just want help. Even if it's only words. My best friend is having such a hard time with me but is still so supportive. I usually get better emorionally with him but lately it hasn't been the same result.

Help please?

hi my name is tonya
i am 33
i think i know how you feel
i get really upset and dont know to react to situations that threaten me. i done ok so far but i am lucky that i havent overreacted. email back.

sincerely
tonya

Good Morning

In you post you stated that your Mom was a good woman with problems of her own. This tells me that you love her and you are sensitive and related to her pain. You are a wonderful person. Love her hug her. This program is your best friend. Visit everyday.

I completely understand about difficult weeks. There is always a week or a bit more of constant anxiety and panic. Ever since I can remember I was always the good daughter, never rebeled, did everything I was told to do, etc. I am convinced my mother has anxiety and I had it at a very young age as well. NOw I have to worry about my kids and teach them about the program to avoid my pitfalls. As I began to experience anxiety I noticed I had the urge to make myself heard or respond to comments from my parents, Who in my eyes are my biggest critics. No one else's opinions matter, weird I know. But let them say something I am torn up or exhilirated. I did the same thing you did minus the physical altercation. One day after my mother was glorifying my brother (who doesn't visit but twice a year) I told her how I felt and of course that blew her away. She felt I was being ungrateful, etc. I felt guilty the whole time after that thinking I did something so bad. In a way it is good for you to express yourself but be careful how you do it. My doctor also told me about PMDD, Post menstrual dysphoric disfunction. Somehow a week before or after menses I have a terrible week of anxiety, irritability, I just seem to be more sensitive. This is a higher form of PMS. I take my lexapro two weeks prior to menses to build up my seritonin and stop when I start. This has helped me a lot, although exercise is what I need to do too. Your young and managing it now rather than later will save you from regret in the future. Look at it from every angle, and you may just see where your anger, anxiety, fears come from. ALso, talk to your mom, my mother is not convinced by what I tell her, but remember, just like us, they are a product of their environment, generation, upbringing, and culture. The only thing we can do is respect them and embrace them as our parents. Keep working on the program, it works wonders, it too k me a year to realize that.

I know it's hard. This is a challenge for me, i wish it didn't last as long. It feels as if it's just dragging. You'll get through it, trust me.

I actually take YAZ for myself. It wasn't until I saw one of those commercials that I saw at least some of where my moods swings came from. I have been taking it for over a year now and no longer have 2 periods a month which is nice. I've been trying to find a medicine that would stop that for years.

I just learned my dad lied to me about going to iraq. He said he was there but he is actually in africa.
thanks for the comments.

Session 9 helps you big time to learn how to get rid of guilt!! Hugs