really really sad about getting blown off

tjcookie · Post by **tjcookie** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:00 am

went out with a guy on a date.called me /emailed me.said he had a great time and wants to see me asap.calls me to go over to his house and help him program his remote(nice ploy)
I do emailed him the next day.light and casual .he says hey talk to you soon and I never hear from him again.I don't know what the heck happened!!!! I know there is no investment here,but this is killing me.I asked him to go hiking and he did not even reply.I will add that I in no way chased this man.he pursued me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:10 am

Hi TJ-

I have to say that I've had that happen too. I think that there are times we go out with someone and they are really checking out if they are in-to you on the first date. But, then they aren't sure if that spark is there and go after a second get-together.

Sometimes it turns into more, sometimes it just isn't fireworks for one or the other or both. It just happens.

It isn't really something to fret about since, as you mentioned, you didn't pursue him and there "wasn't any investment". But, yeah, it kinda hurts and you wonder what happened. It just wasn't meant to be for you 2.

I'm sure there's a good reason, but you may not know for now. Just take a breath and tell yourself that you are worth all the happiness available and you will find that person who is going to help you find it.

Good luck and breathe. -J

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:17 am

Ouch! I am so sorry that happened. No way of knowing what happened, because if he was going to be up front with you, he already would have told you. Chin up! Get out there and go hiking with a compatible friend, or just go hiking and enjoy your own company!

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:24 am

thanks- I really needed to hear that.I just don't understand how he could be so nice and want me to go hiking etc... and then not even give me a polite no.I wouldn't ever hurt someones feelings like that.I think he would have atleast said, hey ,iunfortunately this guy lives around the corner and I see him almost every dayam busy or something.I don't know why I am beating myself up over this,
I'm wondering if maybe I come off as alittle aloof because I wear almost a force field around myself.......

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:32 am

Please be kind to yourself here. You cannot know what happened, and you might very well rehearse this one over and over in your mind until this day is over, and you will have wasted the day! You just don't know. Think about all the people who DO appreciate YOU. And then get busy. Do something you enjoy. Really. You will forget about this soon. It's a nothing. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself ten years from now. How important will this moment be then? It's a nothing. Have a good day!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:46 am

Have to agree with what others have said. I'm certain at some point in time we can all relate to the same or a similar happening and all felt as you are. Don't beat yourself up over this...I know it's easier said than done but why let him get to you. Remember how we tend to blame ourselves and want to be liked by everyone and that's not always going to be the case for whatever reasons. heck maybe something happened to him or someone he knows and he's not even around to get your email or messages. Either way just try to set those thoughts free and go on with your day pleasing yourself. Life is so short and flies by too quickly to waste time wondering and worrying. This is coming from someone who wasted many years doing just that.

Hope you feel better!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:35 am

Hi TJ, I can understand how you're feeling, but try to remember this....there is someone out there who will be attracted to you, love and cherish you, and accept you even with your "forcefield" around you. There is someone who will understand your shortcomings and your strengths and love "all" of you. Continue working on this program and learn to love yourself even with what you perceive to be your imperfections.

Give yourself a break and look at the good things that are already in your life. The fact that nothing developed with you and this guy has absolutely nothing to do with who you really are. God has created you to be special and in time someone will come into your life who truly sees it in you, but you must see it in yourself first.

Don't waste anymore time questioning what happened with this guy. Spend your time looking forward to your next encounter with someone who may be the right one for you.

Donna