Stress Center Peer Support

I am a mess! However, isn't that the first step - admitting that you are? When I say my life is in a bottle, I don't mean alcohol. I stopped that 15 years ago. I mean my life is in a bottle on the top shelf of my bookcase and I can't seem to get it down so I can play with it.
I have been depressed for the last 15 years or so. I have seen so many therapist, my name must be in the psychotherapy circuit around town. Meds - oh yes. Too many to measure. The program? Bought it - twice, it's on my bookshelf too after listening to one CD. I don't even have the desire to push the CD in and hit play. If I had my way and didn't have to earn a living, I would stay in bed the rest of my life.
I know what needs to be done though. I should exercise, listen to the program over and over exercise some more and everything will be OK.
NOT! I am so at the end of the line, I don't know whether to scream or play dead. I seem to be pissed off at everything and everyone.

Rhinoc,

Wow, I too have bought this program twice. Once back in April 2006, and then again in April 2009. Depression has pagued me off and on for 30 plus years. Done the meds Lexapro, Citlopram. Got off all meds in March slowly. The withdrawls were horifying. Im just now beginning not to feel the dizziness from the Meds. Crying spells,feelings of lonleness,hopeless, plague me alot. One of my biggest fears is leaving home over night.
I am going to complete this program this time. It has worked for so many people, It must be able to work for me. I am currently on secesion 3. The negative thouhts are so hard to get rid of. I walk 45 minutes aday, have cut out sugar,. I dont drink at all!! no alchol or coffee ever. So sugarless might be it, I don't know. My wife don't understand it at all. I will and so will you succeed, we just have to contiune to push ouselves.

Hi Rhinoc,

You should like the voice that is in my head every single day. But please don't give up. That is the easy way out. This journey has been a hard one but I truly believe that this depression has been placed in our lives to teach us patience, humility, acceptance, and so many more qualities. I am only on week 2 of the tape and am still questioning if this is something that will finally push me farther ahead. What I can tell you is I got put in touch with a friend of a friend who did the program and found WONDERFUL results with it. It is one thing to read on here what other people have said but I actually got to talk to someone that put my mind at ease. Even if it takes all your strength,(and I completely understand how it can)pop your cd in, read through your workbook even if you don't fill anything out, and definitely do the relaxation tape. The thing I like about the relaxation tape is that it is much quicker and simpler than many other meditation or relaxation cd's out there. We are in this together. I am sitting here skeptical myself but we have to believe that something will take us out of this misery and give us back the life that we are meant to be living. Write me back if you want =) You are really the first person I have reached out to on here since starting the program. Take Care and God Bless You!

*Victoria

oops, I meant you SOUND like the voice in my head!!

You are just like me. If I had it my way, Id sleep in bed for the rest of my life. It is a challenge to get myself out of bed at times, I wont get up till 5pm or so sometimes. Id rather just lay there, when im asleep i cant think. I know EXACTLY what your going through. I am at war with myself too, one little thing can happen to me and trigger my depression for days! Its soooo stupid. I get bitter too wihich turns into anger. I never even completed the program, too lazy and didnt feel like it.

I just try very hard to be as positive as possible and yes, go to the gym! It will get better, u get back what you put in, so if your putting in nothing, your going to get just that...nothing!

Ill say a prayer for u....God Bless!!!!!