Stress Center Peer Support

I am depressed I feel so down and out. No one understand my pain that I feel. I really need someone to talk to

I too feel the same way I know how it feels im ao anxious and blue i feel theres now way out in waiting for help with a therapist and I keep having bad thought constantly trying to block them out listening to the cds and all im numb and anxious all day everyday crying everyday i dont go out much and i am nto working this all started whne i got sick in feb which i thought wasd sick i had so many tests done and all was well with me i even had a ct scan i think all that scared me even more i feel anxious about everything now and i keep having ridiculous thoughts im trying sio hard to feel better abnd my doc has put me on meds that i even make bad thoughts abiout them i lost wieght and im constantly thinking about my anxiety no maTTEr if im doing something or noti notice that i might have a bit of ocd or something im not sure cause i haVE SOME ridiculous thoughts. i feel blue and my kids have witenessed me crying and upset for to many days. my sons grade 8 grad is this week and i have to go to this but i know ill be anxious . why does this happen to people?? my neighbous is sick and has been sick for eyars and i wonder how she does it im not even sick and i worry constantly about everything. i have come to the point where i may get my dr to put me in the hospital cause i dont know how i will get out of this. so we have to keep tealling ourselves to go with the anxiety but as soon as i feel offblance or numbing or have a bad thought im right back to where i was i dotn feel strong right nowi lsten to the cds and i wonder how they stopped thier bad thought mine are dozzies i tell ya. i wonder sometimes if im gouing nuts. and why i cant justs ee the positive in the moment.

Hi You Two,
I pray the the two of you have the program, and work on it daily!!!

I was once in that place and I do know how it feels!!! There is hope...Do not give up on yourselves...You do not have to live in this manner!!!

Would you two let me know if you are working on the program and what is going on in your lives that is making you feel sooo depressed???

May God Bless Each of You is My Prayer!!!

I am working on the program, but its not helping any. My husband will soon be leaving to move to another state and I will be alone. I don't know how I am going to make it without him being here.

Ms. Lynn and Selly32,
I understand the pain of depression and the isolation or loneliness you feel. I feel for your situations and hope that you are listening to the program every day. I would suggest making an extra copy of the relaxation cd for your car or a copy for your ipod, mp3 player, ect. When listening to the CDs/tapes listen specifically to ways to get through a moment. When you are going through major life changes, it's best to take them one moment at a time...I call it taking baby steps when I am going through tough situations. Especially anxiety. My boyfriend and I just broke up 3 weeks ago. I miss him terribly. I stay busy. However, I DO NOT allow myself not to deal with the emotions I am going through. I try very hard not to place my irritation, angry, saddness on the children I work with at school all day. In fact I SEEK OUT moments in the day that are special for me. like when one of the children say "you are soooo beautiful!" They are 5 year olds...so it's very authentic when they give compliments or say they love me. You have to do the changing with this program. it's a program designed to help you, however you have to do the work. And when you are depressed and down it's so much harder to find the happiness in anything. I understand that. But keep looking for it. even if it is just 5 Minutes to get a favorite something to drink, a 30 minute walk, a whole day to yourself to catch up on life or do laundry, anything can be a positive moment. It's changing our perspective on the moment or day that is our repsonsibility. I know taking our thoughts captive is soooo difficult. I am currently packing to get ready to go to camp to be a councelor for severely abused and neglected children. I have been through the abuse and neglect as a child, and I am nervous that I will not be able to handle it. I talked to a friend about my anxiety, and she validated me and then encouraged me. Yes, this will be hard for me, however it will be a way to give back from my own experiences. I know how important it is as a child to have hope that life will get better. I get to give these two little ones in my care this week a wonderful week of wonderful memories. Yes, there will be moments were I will want to pull out my hair or run away from the difficulty, but I am an adult and I have the ability to cope with this if I choose to. I want to be better. That is what keeps me going. In those moments where I could not stand anymore, couldn't get out of bed, couldn't focus at work, couldn't think a thought that wasn't negative somewhere in it...I turned to God. I prayed and sometimes I didn't feel better, but I trust that God is there for me and He is protecting my mind and heart. I also have you 2 and other's here on this site where I can write about what I am going through and see how they cope and reading their success is such a great way to find little bits of hope when things seem so crapy. Well, I hope that you both were encouraged. if you have faith, please pray to Jesus that I will be balanced this week with what little sleep I am going to get so I can give these 2 girls the greatest memories they can have in this year to take them to next year. This camp ages children out at 11 years old.

Selly32,
First, you're not going crazy. Trust me, I know. People who are truly crazy do not worry about whether or not they are crazy. I have spent many years being depressed and scared. It sounds like you're scaring yourself with "what if" thoughts. Try turning them around to "what if I get through my son's graduation without a problem?" or "what if I try a different med and remember that it's only temporary?" When all else fails, breathe! Like the relaxation tape says, if you slow your breathing, you calm down. And there are lots of us to talk to here who know how you feel. Write anytime...I keep telling everybody - we all feel like we're alone because we tend to isolate ourselves, but here we are all alone together!

Ms Lynn,
I spent my whole childhood feeling like a freak because I was so sad for no apparent reason. I know what it feels like to be in pain all the time. Write to me. Tell me about it. You're not alone here, and it's a safe place to say how you feel. Try breathing like the relaxation tape describes. Slowing your breathing calms down the panic symptoms.

If your husband is leaving you when you are so down and out, he couldn't have been very supportive. I realize that people on the computer may not be as comforting as someone standing in front of you, but I promise you that there are many people here to talk to. And thanks to the miracle of technology, you can write whenever you want to, even in the middle of the night.

At one point, I bought myself a huge stuffed animal that is very plush and snuggly. I call him Puppy. I sleep with Puppy sometimes and he comforts me. I never like stuffed animals as a kid, but hugging him when I'm crying sometimes makes me feel like there is someone there with me. I hope that doesn't sound trite. It's just another tool for the coping box.

These forums have made a big difference to me because it's made it so clear how many many people are suffering in silence and how many of us only get help when we end up in the doctor's office or the hospital.

I repeat: you are not alone. We are always here to talk to.
Leslie

I am so afraid that the "what if's may returns along with the "racing thoughts in my mind. I have been in the hospital several times before. However, when I was there I felt safe unlike when I am home alone.My husband was here the last time I broke down but, he won't be here if it happens again and I do believe this time I won't make it without the support of anyone who really understands what I am going though. I can't concentrate when I am at work, waiting up in the middle of the night just thinking. I am afraid I may end up back in the hospital again.

im driving my fsmily nuts i wont go outsode and i feel so unreal right now these meds i ahve on;y been on for anout 2 weeks plus ativan its like im scared of everything right now and i fear everything. the pills are making my head feel even worse and i just wish mabye i could have tried to do this without pills i have awful thoughts and its killing me i use to be anxious and have thoughts but it never came to this im getting neurotic about everything i made my friend check on me several times when is tarted my first antidepressent thinking iw as going to die.i dont laugh much or a fake a laugh but thoughts just run through my brain all day what if i passput what if ill be dead soon my poor kids dont deserve this i have always been an emotional person and had thoughts but it has become even worse for me after i got sick and ended up in bed for 2 months im afraid i wake up every day hoping my mind has been reprograMMED. and i wake up with dread. why does this happen to people??? i know that death is inevidable and i can except that but i feel i have to control everything in life and its not like that i know but i had a scare when i got sick and now im just neurotic about it. i cant think straight im offbalance everyday and im cry way to much. has anyone ever felt so ureal in thier lives cause that how i feel im doing the cds.the relaxation tape works and i tell myself your good everything is good then i end up telling myself other wise how do you stop this . has anyoen felt like they are in a dream???? imt rying to enjoy but i cant even watch tv right now im so absoprbed in feeeling bad.im on a tricyclic anti depressant and i wonder if it will work for me im alway negative and im trying to be positive.