Stress Center Peer Support

Over the past few days a lot has been happening that is leaving me overwhelmed, anxious about outcomes, and thus resulting in depression. I try to look for the good, but the bad gets in the way.

It started a few days ago with a cat I found. He is thin, dehydrated, and sickly. I was able to get him to a free vet, but I am still stuck with him. I think he needs more care, but I cannot afford it, and that leaves me feeling guilty. I want to help him, but cannot shell out hundreds of dollars for vet care. No shelter will take him, as they are all full, so I am stuck with him.

Second thing that happened was a new job. While it is a good thing, I am so nervous that I am going to do something wrong, or be fired. I'm stressed that I will lose this job, b/c it took so long to find one.

Third, two days ago someone hit my car. I was at a light and they side swiped me and drove off. The cops came but did not really talk to me. I worry about what is in the police report, as he took the other persons statement and not mine. I'm afraid that the police report will effect how much money I get for the repair of the car. I cannot afford to spend money to fix a car, and that leaves me stressed b/c I didn't do anything to cause this accident(I was stopped at a light).

I got my car inspected today, and the mechanism that opens the door was frozen. The key won't turn in the lock to open the door. The mechanic decided to force it, and broke a wire in the door. I cannot open my drivers side door without opening my window and using the outside. I am worried about what this will cost me, as I cannot afford to fix it, but again I didn't break it, but it seems like I'll get stuck with the bill.

Lastly, I woke up this morning to one of my ferrets being ill. I suspect he has insulinoma, as he has been in the same situation before. He becomes weak in the hind legs, and inactive. If I give him sugar, he will perk back up and be back to normal. Again, I don't have money to treat, as it can cost thousands. I do my best to deal with the episodes as they happen, but know that eventually they will become more frequent, and I will have to put him down. I feel guilty that I don't have the money. When I got him 6 years ago, I was in a good financial way, but somethings happened(I lost my job, and couldn't find another; I have more bills than before, etc). I feel guilty that I cannot treat the illness, and I am simply treating the episodes.

All these things put together over a week period leave me feeling overwhelmed. I get depressed, and angry that life doesn't even let me breath between bad news. Sometimes I just want to lie in bed and hope everything goes away.

Does anyone have any advice? How should I get through tough situation after tough situation without wanting to crawl into a hole?

Orion,
I can relate very much to your troubles. My husband and I are pretty much overwhelmed too. It seems just like you said, that every day just brings some more distress. In the last several weeks, we have had two car problems (about $700), my husband had to have a tooth pulled ($200 plus pain pills), and my doctor bills ($300 in the last month). My husband's pay got cut by 40% several months ago with no warning, so we've been limping along. I am on disability, so I can't work.
I have a hard time getting up in the morning, and that makes me sad because that used to be my favorite time of day.
All I can say is to keep taking baby steps toward your goal and focus on the present moment. Otherwise, the problems get too big and we can't get out of bed.
However, we can only hide for so long. At some point we have to get up and deal with life. I get angry too, like what did I ever do to deserve this? I take a dance class, and I'm the only one who isn't driving a BMW or Mercedes and the only one who isn't going on vacation. I can't remember the last time I could afford a vacation! It's hard not to compare myself to people, so I feel like I don't exist around people who obviously have no idea what it's like to struggle for money.
I can't remember when I had any fun, which I know is part of my depression. I'm sticking to this program like glue because I feel like it's my last hope. I've been through medications and therapists and diagnosis after diagnosis, and I'm tired of trying. I didn't think it would be a breeze, but it's hard to keep up and I will probably start again at the beginning once I finish the first time. I need LOTS of reinforcement.
Anyway, I do feel your pain. I had to have my cat, my best friend, put down because he had cancer. Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of his death. I still miss him terribly. You might be able to find a no-kill shelter for the cat. If not, try food and water and see if he gets better. And maybe you can work out a payment plan for your ferret. But don't feel guilty; you would absolutely pay for these animals if you were able to.
If the mechanic broke your car door, he should fix it at no cost. And you can probably get one of those lawyers who will take your case on the hit-and-run who will take their pay when you win instead of you having to pay up front.
You are familiar with the program, so I can tell you that I see anticipatory anxiety as far as your job goes. Don't sabotage yourself! If you got the job, that means they liked you enough to give you a chance and think that you are competent. Breathe when you get nervous.
Around here, we say "One step at a time" and "If you can't find the bright side, polish the dull side!" Sometimes it helps, sometimes not. But the important thing is to keep going because the only change we really have control over is ourselves.
I know that I can't make your problems go away, but I hope that it helps that someone knows exactly how you feel. Hang it there. I'm trying to.
Leslie

Hang in there! Remember to live each day in the present - not the past (car) or the future (job). I get overwhelmed now too, when depression began settling in after years and years of anxiety built up due to my husband's mental illness. Then menopause hit, the hormones went wacky, and I began having panic attacks. I was used to being "super mom", have always worked full time, and always maintained a list of things to do on it that would make anyone exhausted. Starting this winter, I barely got thru the work day and often sat on the couch all evening watching TV. This program has given me something productive to do, but helps me take care of myself for a change. You can only do in one day what you can do. Choose the most important priority and do just that. When multiple things simply must be done, break them down into smaller, very clear steps. For example, with the car. Mon: call the insurance co. Tues: ___. Try to see the new job as an adventure instead of anticipating failure. I agree with Bees4me that when at work, remember to take some deep breaths. Then reward yourself every day after a good day at work with positive affirmation (even if the only good thing was learning from making mistakes). Good luck!

Orion,
I agree with QuilterNewbie. Making a short list of small steps can help you through a rough time. And remember that every day isn't going to be so bad.

There are lots of people on these forums who understand how you feel. We've all been overwhelmed from time to time. You heard my sad story in an earlier post. But I'm back to tell you that the day ended on a much brighter note, and you'll have days like this too.

And once again, I agree with Quilter Newbie that you should give yourself some rewards or at least some credit. With all of your personal problems, you still found a sick kitty and took it home. You must have a heart as big as all outdoors! Soon it won't hurt so much every day. I promise.
Les

Thanks for the replies. Its good to know that not only am I not alone in my feelings, but there are ways to work through it.

While I'm still a bit overwhelmed, it has eased a bit.

Some issues have cleared up. The cat seems to be getting better, I was able to get him to a shelter that could look him over for almost nothing. I decided that his life has probably been tough enough, so I am going to keep him. The car door was fixed, my father(who is has an assertive personality)took the car back and demanded they fix their mistake.

New issues came up... the car started refusing to turn over, and needs to have that fixed now. I have been dealing with the insurance(of the person that hit me), and it is stressful.

I want to thank everyone for the advice. I always find this place very helpful in relieving some of my stress and anxiety.

Orion,
Some days it just doesn't seem to be worth it to get out of bed, does it? Somehow I knew you'd find a place for that kitty. I was right about your big heart. That cat may well be of comfort to you in the future. They really appreciate people who take the trouble to help them.

And car troubles? I can fix so many things on a car because mine are forever breaking down. I've gotten so good at diagnosing problems that even my mechanic is impressed. Insurance companies will drive you to drink. They are great at taking your money, but you almost have to take them to court to get what you are due.

Remember to take the problems one at a time so you don't get so overwhelmed. Hope your ferret is feeling better too. You hang in there. I believe you are stronger than you think.
Les

well all i can say is be grateful for the good things that you have, that cat is probably very happy that you are taking care of her/him

if the cat could talk she would be thanking you everyday for saving its life

be grateful for your health, that you have a job and that you saved that cat's life

i'm going through a crappy phase myself, can't find a job and everything is going backwards somehow, watch this video, really cheered me up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdbSVSMwHPA