Stress Center Peer Support

Hello,
After having major panic attacks, going to the ER and losing a ton of weight because I couldn't eat, I ordered the program. I am now on session 4 and I have made progress with my anxiety and anxiety coping skills. I am still struggling with depression.
I believe I am mainly depressed because I have made horrible financial mistakes. I owe over $65K in school debt. I have not even finished my BFA (I went to art school). Most of that $ is interest because over the years I was unable to handle looking at the paper work and I avoided, avoided, avoided. I am at the point now where I want to try to tackle this debt, but the interest adds $10.11 every single day! I can't even afford to pay the interest, so the debt keeps growing and I become more and more depressed about what I have gotten myself into.

I am not living. I am not enjoying life. I cry. I cry.
The only time I seem to enjoy anything are the few, rare moments when I literally forget about it.

I feel bad for my husband, who I love dearly. I am bringing him down. Neither of us has a high paying job and I feel like we work all of the time to make money and it's getting us nowhere. I wouldn't mind being poor. I mind being less than poor. How can I justify enjoying anything with this hanging over my head? If I do relax and get happy for a moment, I seem to stop and remind myself, Oh yeah, you messed up big time...

My husband and I dream of having children. How could we with less than no money?

Will a spiritual life help me through this? I don't know how to pray anymore. I want to be centered and grounded and realistic. I want to be happy and whole. I want to be a good wife, and yes, a good mother some day. I'm 31. I feel like a lost child myself.

My cousin told me that my self-worth should have nothing to do with my finances, it's about who I am as a person. Logically I know that, but how do I get to a place that I truly believe that? And the depression has lowered my self worth as a person too.

Please help.

Rachael,

Take a deep breath. I too have been through financial struggles. The best thing to do with your loans is call and talk to the lender. Don't avoid it anymore. I deferred my loans for as long as I could and the interest racked up. The longer you let it go, the more stressed you will be. I know it may seem a little overwhelming at this point, but you have to just do it.

You didn't mess up big time. It's a life experience. Now you have to take care of it. It's certainly not going to be fixed overnight, but it's something you can work toward. Once you make the first step to contact the lender, you will be suprised at how much they are willing to work with you. Don't avoid them anymore.

Rachael,

I forgot to add that yes, praying will help you and yes, it does get harder to pray when you are in this state because it's overwhelming. You loose sight of what to pray for because you are truly overwhelmed.

Take on bits a pieces - - don't try to conquer all your problems at once. Take care of you - - get better for you. When you are able to tackle some of your issues with anxiety and depression, you will be able to focus on being good to others. First, be good to you!

Hi,
I called. They can't help me. That's why I was freaking out. I don't qualify for any of the programs. I can't get any reductions. I am trying to face it and take it on and ... I need to pay $71 per week just to cover the interest alone.

I just need to find a way to still live and enjoy life, even with all this hanging over me.

RACHELLYN,
THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY,EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DECLARE BANKRUPCY.IF THIS IS WHATS REALLY MESSING UP YOUR LIFE,FORGIVE YOURSELF AS YOU WOULD YOUR FRIEND,FIND AN ATTORNEY THAT CAN HELP YOU AND TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK.IT WILL BE A STRUGGLE TO REBOUND BUT YOURE STRUGGLING NOW WITH NO FORWARD PROGRESS.YOU CAN DO IT.HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF!!CHAR-LEE

RachelLynn,

I know how you feel. Money, specifically--not having enough, has been a longstanding issue for me that reaches back to my childhood. I didn't save and I am paying for it now. What also added to this was constant job exits (either voluntarily or involuntarily). I was always behind the 8 ball, my salary going to rent, gas and electric, bills, and medical expenses. Most of my paychecks were gone before I even got them, if you know what I mean. I also declared bankruptcy in 1998. The day I decided this, I wanted to throw up. Even though the bankruptcy label is gone because it's over 10 years, I still am living check to check.

I am soooo sorry that you are suffering in this manner, so, I thought that I would share a little video with you who are suffering from financial stressors!!!

I pray this inspires you!!! Here is the video.... The Don't Quit Video

I pray each of you have a beautiful day fully trusting in God to lead and guide you minds and to supply your financial needs, since, HE did promise HIS children that HE would do just that!!!

We must have faith in HIM and develop a close relationship with HIM...Walk in the center of HIS will an no good thing will HE withhold from us!!!

May God Richly Bless Each of You!!!

Originally posted by Ms. T Bones:
I am soooo sorry that you are suffering in this manner, so, I thought that I would share a little video with you who are suffering from financial stressors!!!

I pray this inspires you!!! Here is the video.... The Don't Quit Video

I pray each of you have a beautiful day fully trusting in God to lead and guide you minds and to supply your financial needs, since, HE did promise HIS children that HE would do just that!!!

We must have faith in HIM and develop a close relationship with HIM...Walk in the center of HIS will an no good thing will HE withhold from us!!!

May God Richly Bless Each of You!!!

Great video and great message, T! Thanks.

A great song for you. "God will make a way when there seems to be no way,
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He'll be by my side
When together we abide
In love and strength for each new day
HE WILL MAKE A WAY.
Please take this to the Lord in prayer. I know He will answer with ideas for you. Do NOT give up. TRUST HIM MORE THAN EVER. "If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 Jn. 1:9 So if you've confessed. and I think you have...then NO MORE GUILT. Get on with your life.

Do you rent or paying for your own home? Like the other person said even if you declare bankrupcy and start over you can make it just don't use credit cards again. Lower your standard of living. Shop at Goodwill or other thrift stores. Eat mac and cheese, ramen noodles for a while if you must but treat yourself ocassionally too. Spend time w/positive people. Come here for encouragent. If necessary go on an anti-depressant for a short time to pull you thru. You WILL get thru this, no doubt about it.

Hi All,
I haven't watched the video yet, but I plan to. Thank you. I am starting to attend church services.

About Bankruptcy: EVERYONE suggests that. Bankruptcy does not apply to student loans.

I would have done it already.

It's 65K- all in Student loans, because I ignored it for years and the interest rate made it triple what it was to begin with. I have no other debt, No credit cards. We rent.

My husband owes a ton to the IRS. He was an independent contractor from his early 20s to early 30s and never did taxes. Now it's caught up with him.

We are learning to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but it truly is easier said then done.

I pray for the wisdom to see the path we must take to be happy and become financially stable.