Recent bout of depression
I have recently broken up with my boyfriend. I have never been in love before this and it's killing me to be apart from him. He was my first really serious relationship. I feel really self conscious and lonely without him. He made me feel good about myself while we were together, but I have reverted back to my original self esteem problems. It's hard to wake up in the morning and start my day. I can't stop thinking about him. Has anyone else ever had a problem like this?
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Guest
Hey Brooke,
I think I can relate to your situation. About a year ago I finally got the courage to leave my boyfriend of 4 years. He was also my first love and first serious boyfriend. I thought about him all the time. I wondered if I made a mistake and it was hard to move on.
I think because we are so fragile to begin with that when such big events happen, like the ending of a relationship, we can't help but feel small and defeated and like there is no hope. But there is. As much as you may miss him, you can take this time to improve yourself and do things you have always wanted to do.
I believe it is very important to be comfortable in your own company and not rely on others to bring you up. I still struggle with this but I know I am getting there and you can too. You are important and you always come first. Don't beat yourself up when you think about him, it's only natural. Reach out to friends and family for distraction, go for a walk, bake cookies, take a nice long bath or jorunal. You will get through it.
The experiences we go through just make us stronger and this includes broken hearts. It can be mended. Don't worry it will get better, things happen for a reason. You are strong and will have patience will yourself as you move forward.
But please do deal with your feelings while they are fresh. I brushed everything under the rug so fast afterwards because it seemed easier then facing it. And then months later it hit me again and I had to try to fully deal with all these old feelings. Not fun. I have learned my lesson and I can pass the results on to you.
I hope that helps. Break ups are never fun no matter what side of the table you are on. Focus on yourself and you will be just fine.
Take care.
Layney.
I think I can relate to your situation. About a year ago I finally got the courage to leave my boyfriend of 4 years. He was also my first love and first serious boyfriend. I thought about him all the time. I wondered if I made a mistake and it was hard to move on.
I think because we are so fragile to begin with that when such big events happen, like the ending of a relationship, we can't help but feel small and defeated and like there is no hope. But there is. As much as you may miss him, you can take this time to improve yourself and do things you have always wanted to do.
I believe it is very important to be comfortable in your own company and not rely on others to bring you up. I still struggle with this but I know I am getting there and you can too. You are important and you always come first. Don't beat yourself up when you think about him, it's only natural. Reach out to friends and family for distraction, go for a walk, bake cookies, take a nice long bath or jorunal. You will get through it.
The experiences we go through just make us stronger and this includes broken hearts. It can be mended. Don't worry it will get better, things happen for a reason. You are strong and will have patience will yourself as you move forward.
But please do deal with your feelings while they are fresh. I brushed everything under the rug so fast afterwards because it seemed easier then facing it. And then months later it hit me again and I had to try to fully deal with all these old feelings. Not fun. I have learned my lesson and I can pass the results on to you.
I hope that helps. Break ups are never fun no matter what side of the table you are on. Focus on yourself and you will be just fine.
Take care.
Layney.
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Guest
Thanks Layney for responding!
I wish you didn't have to go through that, but its good to know its not just me. I think im getting a little better and I'm trying to move on. The problem is that he already has. I definitely write a lot and that's helping. It makes me feel better to do something instead of just sitting in my room. I've also been keeping busy on the weekends. My friends are all really helpful and it's easier to me with them now than it was at first. Thanks for the advice!
~Brooke
I wish you didn't have to go through that, but its good to know its not just me. I think im getting a little better and I'm trying to move on. The problem is that he already has. I definitely write a lot and that's helping. It makes me feel better to do something instead of just sitting in my room. I've also been keeping busy on the weekends. My friends are all really helpful and it's easier to me with them now than it was at first. Thanks for the advice!
~Brooke