Stress Center Peer Support

I am new and just starting the program. I have struggled with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression since I was 30 years old. I am 52 now. I think mine has been a combination of hormonal problems (I have hypothyroidism and had a hysterectomy at age 29) and living in a bad marriage for 31 years. I have been on various antidepressants over the years, only two times they helped me, but most of the time I have really bad reactions to them like increased anxiety and severe panic or worsening depression. I finally divorced my husband after 31 years and even though he was very abusive to me and our children it has been very hard to let go. It has been two years now and I am still grieving. I got involved with another man six months after my divorce which was a disaster. It threw me into this latest episode of depression, the worst I have ever experienced. For the last year and a half I have been hospitalized 4 times, been on dozens of meds with no help, had 11 ECT's and been very suicidal. I had to resign my job in July of 08 and go on disability. My children are grown and have moved away, which I know is healthy, but it's left me feeling so alone. My daughter and her husband have judged me for divorcing her dad even though he got involved with another woman telling me that the reason I am depressed is because I am in sin. I feel like someone flew a plane into my life and leveled me to ground zero and I don't know how to start over. I am a Christian and I know that is the only reason I am still here. God is faithful and He has a plan for not only my life, but all of us and it is very good. I refuse to give up, I know Jesus will bring me through this. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me. Psalm 23. The key word in this verse is through. And this too shall pass. I guess I am encouraging myself in the Lord and hope someone else.

Tamara,
This program was designed for people like us, people who have suffered with anxiety and depression for years and many of us have tried medication after medication and therapy after therapy. All of those things can help, but here we learn how to relax and forgive ourselves for not being perfect. From your posting, you're going through a lot and have been for a long time.

Here there are many people to talk to. You don't have to hide or pretend to be strong. You're not alone. There's always someone to talk to. Congratulations on the courage to continue to try and I'm glad you found your way here.
Leslie