I just don't care or have the will anymore (If anyone on)

Anyone suffering from depression may post their history, experience, comments and/or suggestions. Please refrain from indepth discussions about medicines or other therapies.
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ghewa
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2016 6:07 pm

I just don't care or have the will anymore (If anyone on)

Post by ghewa » Mon Sep 19, 2016 3:12 am

As weird as it sounds and it makes no sense but I have a good paying job (I didn't apply for it but the CEO of my dads company saw one of the resumes that I let my dad see and he was impressed that I not only had my BA degree but managed to stick with a job for over 8 years as it got me through colleges.)

I was born into a good family and religion, I was bullied in 7th grade and since then I have had a confidence/anxiety problem that has shown up at times through my life, which has partly been the reason I am not even married at the age of 29 despite trying to get out of comfort zone to do so.

I quit that job of 8 years to move on to something better paying and more enjoyable or at least something I would be content with, this led to 4 months of limbo. Meaning I tried to think of any way to get into the field of film/multimedia, I asked for any advice or help only to be ignored or told it was not enough, you need a great portfolio, or time and again was left searching with zero clue as to what I could get into.

*A year later this is crazy but I am making more money, good family/religion, but that 4 months of not finding anything left a bigger emotional scar then I thought, I feel like I have heard all the same self help advice or counseling from family/advisors/religion and for some reason I just want to KILL MYSELF, JUST SHUT IT OFF.

Tonight my dad got angry and just said quit try something else, that COMMITTING SUICIDE just sounds lazy, "...then go ahead do it, you will be judged". I was very close to just going ahead and doing it but for some reason I didn't go through with it.

rachelrose
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:02 pm

Re: I just don't care or have the will anymore (If anyone on

Post by rachelrose » Mon Sep 26, 2016 3:16 pm

You will be fine. The depression always ends. Literally always. Self-talk is very important. Make sure to keep telling yourself that you can and will conquer this. You can do it.

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