Re: When you've hit rock bottom...
Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 10:16 pm
Hi Mark,
Sorry to here that you're starting to slip again. It's so hard to separate depression and anxiety from you, as a person. Since you know these symptoms all too well, I think it might be a good idea to go to a psychiatrist and psychologist again. It sounds like you might need to find a new psychiatrist, so start looking now so that you can get in as soon as possible. I know what you mean about the gripping anxiety. And that deep, dark hole can be unbearable. I pray that you can find peace and hope.
Honestly, about three weeks ago, my depression and anxiety reached a whole new level. I couldn't go to work, I was drinking alcohol every night just to try and get rid of the pain, and I couldn't eat or sleep. I wrote a suicide note and I started experimenting with different methods of suicide. One night, I had a belt wrapped around my neck. Another night, I drank lots of vodka and took several pills. During one of these episodes, I reached out to my neighbor. Long story short, with the help of lots of friends and my neighbor, I chose to go to the hospital and stay in the psych unit for about 4 days. This was the most difficult decision that I have ever made in my life. I felt like I was giving up all control and I wasn't quite sure what I was getting into. Usually I'm the one who takes care of everyone else, not the other way around. We had group counseling, they adjusted my meds, and I made goals and a safety plan that helps me to stay on track. Of course it wasn't easy, I didn't see daylight for four days, I missed my family terribly, and I was totally out of my comfort zone. But honestly, I think that's what I needed. Right now, I feel much more stable than before. I am about 50% of the way there. I feel more at peace and I have accepted the fact that this is something I'm going to be dealing with for the rest of my life. I've learned new ways to deal with depression and anxiety. So things are starting to get better.
I hope that you can find the strength to get out of the darkness that you're feeling. You know what symptoms to look out for, so be sure to speak up and get help. The longer you wait, the worse it could get. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. I wish you the best.
-Ashley
Sorry to here that you're starting to slip again. It's so hard to separate depression and anxiety from you, as a person. Since you know these symptoms all too well, I think it might be a good idea to go to a psychiatrist and psychologist again. It sounds like you might need to find a new psychiatrist, so start looking now so that you can get in as soon as possible. I know what you mean about the gripping anxiety. And that deep, dark hole can be unbearable. I pray that you can find peace and hope.
Honestly, about three weeks ago, my depression and anxiety reached a whole new level. I couldn't go to work, I was drinking alcohol every night just to try and get rid of the pain, and I couldn't eat or sleep. I wrote a suicide note and I started experimenting with different methods of suicide. One night, I had a belt wrapped around my neck. Another night, I drank lots of vodka and took several pills. During one of these episodes, I reached out to my neighbor. Long story short, with the help of lots of friends and my neighbor, I chose to go to the hospital and stay in the psych unit for about 4 days. This was the most difficult decision that I have ever made in my life. I felt like I was giving up all control and I wasn't quite sure what I was getting into. Usually I'm the one who takes care of everyone else, not the other way around. We had group counseling, they adjusted my meds, and I made goals and a safety plan that helps me to stay on track. Of course it wasn't easy, I didn't see daylight for four days, I missed my family terribly, and I was totally out of my comfort zone. But honestly, I think that's what I needed. Right now, I feel much more stable than before. I am about 50% of the way there. I feel more at peace and I have accepted the fact that this is something I'm going to be dealing with for the rest of my life. I've learned new ways to deal with depression and anxiety. So things are starting to get better.
I hope that you can find the strength to get out of the darkness that you're feeling. You know what symptoms to look out for, so be sure to speak up and get help. The longer you wait, the worse it could get. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. I wish you the best.
-Ashley