Going through the motions

Anyone suffering from depression may post their history, experience, comments and/or suggestions. Please refrain from indepth discussions about medicines or other therapies.
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S3anne
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:41 pm

Going through the motions

Post by S3anne » Mon Jan 20, 2014 1:36 pm

I'm having anxiety just typing this post. This is my second time through the program. The first time, nearly 10 years ago, I made it to week 8. Now I am on week 2. I am okay dealing with my anxieties, but the depression is exhausting. I tell myself that it will get better. I do the things that "should" help me feel better: getting dressed & fixing my hair & make-up, positive thoughts, taking the kids to the park, meeting my sister for coffee, etc. - but I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I'm so tired of this cycle of depression. I feel good for a short while like things are finally turning around - and then a set-back (a disappointment, lack of sleep, unmet expectations) happens and I feel horrible and it takes so much work & effort to feel somewhat happy again. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of myself. I would like some advice from a coach on a current set-back. Thank you.

S3anne
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:41 pm

Re: Going through the motions

Post by S3anne » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:33 pm

I would like to openly thank CoachChris for answering my post and helping me through a rough start back on the program. I am now finishing week 3 (the farthest I've been since my first time 10 years ago), and I am so proud of myself for making it this far - and also for avoiding another set-back a few nights ago (avoided by taking deep breaths, slowing down, taking care of myself and strong positive self-talk). I feel so much better than my first post just 10 days ago. I still push myself a little outside my comfort zone each day to do something positive, only now, I'm starting to feel it's wonderful effects.
I am so glad for my supportive family & friends, and for this forum to reach out to other people going through similar situations, and for CoachChris and her caring encouragement.

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Going through the motions

Post by LyndaLu » Fri Feb 14, 2014 10:33 pm

Hi S3anne :)

I know what you are talking about when you say that you are just going through the
motions. I have done that very same thing. I was severely depressed and so isolated
for a long while. I also just " went through the motions" of daily living, if you could
call what I was doing as "living". I did not get joy from anything I did or experienced.
Once again, I was just "going through the motions". I am now feeling better and I
am starting to enjoy some things in life. It is going to take time for me to "get back
into the swing of things". But I just take it one day at a time. I am grateful for
the little things in life now, more than ever. I recognize my accomplishments and
achievements every single day, no matter how small. Once you start getting some
confidence about the little things, then you can move on to even bigger things.
Don't worry about set backs, we all have them. I was doing fine for about four
months and then, for some reason, I started isolating myself again. I stayed home
for about 9 days and did not go anywhere. I was sort of scared that this short time
of isolation was going to turn into weeks and months, but it did not. I got back
on track and started to motive myself once again. I used to think that as soon
as all the "lose ends" got tied up that everything would be ok. But as soon as
my current "lose ends" get tied up, then several more appear ! Life never stops.
I wish you luck on the program and I hope you are staying motivated.
I am glad you got ahold of a coach and got some great advice.
Hope to hear from you soon.

LyndaLu :)

S3anne
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:41 pm

Re: Going through the motions

Post by S3anne » Sat Mar 08, 2014 12:16 pm

Thank you - I didn't see your reply until just now (3 weeks later!). I'm doing better overall since that first post. I'm about half-way through the program. I'm in a strange gray area right now. I feel better because I'm sticking to the program... but I still catch myself over-emotionally-reacting to some situations and finding it hard to feel good about myself. I'm still looking to my husband, kids, and family to encourage me and make me feel loved & supported - which they do love & support me, especially for re-starting this program, but I'm having trouble with being my own source of support, encouragement, and love. When these people disappoint me or hurt my feelings, I take it hard & personally. While I tend to automatically get deeply depressed over such things - I'm learning to stop that painful cycle by positive self-talk & sharing my feelings with the other person... but then things feel awkward and I feel myself withdrawing and feeling negative again anyway. It's confusing. It's like I was trying to explain to my husband the other day during an apology for my nasty behavior since he hurt my feelings (yes, I actually APOLOGIZED out loud to someone!) I'm in a better place now than when I first started the program, but I'm still struggling with knowing what to do instead of the old habits once I catch myself repeating and stopping them. I don't know if that makes any sense. But I thank you for your response. It makes a lot of sense and I bet it would apply to this, too.

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Going through the motions

Post by LyndaLu » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:54 am

Dear S3anne:

I was in the hospital back in October 2013 for mental health reasons.
This was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Right from the day I was admitted I was receiving treatment
in a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy class. There was also a
Spirituality class and a Music Therapy class and then a
Processing class. We also had a Goals meeting in the mornings
and a Wrap Up meeting in the evenings. I was in the hospital
for 12 days and in those 12 days I learned more than I had
during the previous five years ! I had only been on medication
previously, but had never learned any coping skills whatsoever.
While I was in the hospital a local organization that deals
with mental health came in and tested me. I was interviewed
and tested. I then became qualified to receive services
through the county because I was mentally ill. This was also
the best thing that had happened to me because I had been
sick for several years and all I had gotten was medication
and no "therapy". Now I have access to a free psychiatrist,
free nurse, free medication and free programs that offer
classes and workshops and support groups. I can combat
my isolation by participating in these programs, I can
meet people that are just like me and I can learn the skills
that can help me manage my symptoms. Maybe there are
some of these same opportunities in your community
that would help you ? Talk to your Psychiatrist or Primary
Care Physician to see if they know of any programs
in your city, state or county that you may qualify for.
Sometimes families just don't "get it" and they will
never "get it". Sometimes families cannot be our
support system and we need to find that support
system somewhere else. I have a sister that does not
"get it" and so I cannot get the support I need from her.
She is still my sister and we are friends, but as far
as my mental health, she cannot be a support
person. I have to rely on my peers to be a support to me.
Sorry this is so long. I am sure that I have gone off topic by now.

Lynda Lu :shock:

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